It Begins In The Beginning By Deborah Tannen

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

Tannen has unmistakably given a considerable amount of thought about the way children are taught and observe communication. Tannen holds that male and female children are taught to communicate differently as they grow older, which can cause communication problems later in their lives. Children are unquestionably impressionable and girls in particular are taught how and expected to be particularly nurturing and concerned about the state of others. Boys are taught to be tough and strong, and this is where the disconnect occurs. Girls are taught to have an inner state of warmth and concern, and boys are taught to have an inner state that outwardly appears to be somewhat standoffish and disconnected. A child’s actions may gain

In Danielle Allen’s essay, Our Declaration, she argues that all people should understand and recognize that the Declaration gives all people in the United States the undeniable freedom to self-govern. One person has the power to change the government; although this is not specifically stated, the freedom to self-govern implies every voice matters. She guides the reader to this idea by using simple and easy to follow examples to show the reader that they have the power to invoke a change the government. Allen also uses credible sources in order to give her reasoning credibility as well as using arguments that elicit an emotional connection.

In “Why Boys Don’t Play With Dolls,” Pollitt writes about the differences between growing up as a boy growing up as a girl. She brings up the stereotypes that society naturally creates between genders in early ages, which leads to the lifestyle and path that boys and girls are raised in. Parents and feminist alike play a big part in establishing these sex roles. They raise their kids wanting them to be successful at what they are expected to be good at based on their gender and the trend that has been set before them.

She found that at every age, girls and women faced each other directly. On the other side of things, she noticed that at every age, boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room. Tannen demonstrates this when she gives the example of a woman in college who was frustrated because every time she would try and talk to her boyfriend he would lay down and put his arm over his face. This signaled that he was taking a nap, but he insisted that it was the only way he could listen without being distracted. Tannen follows by saying, “I believe these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise”. She backs her claim by discussing a research she discovered in an issue of American Psychologist. The research revealed that children’s development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The research later showed boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive

Gender coding is not a natural or biological characteristic. People are born with different physical and biological characteristics, but make sense of their gender roles through cultural influences. “Stereotypes are amazingly powerful, and we may not realize the degree to which our thoughts, beliefs, and actions are shaped by them” (Silverman, Rader, 2010). Boys and girls are labeled as masculine or feminine, which is considered the “norm” for society. Children are not born masculine or feminine, they learn these roles from parents, peers, media, and even religion. Concepts of gender identity are sometimes placed on children even before their birth, such as with the selection of paint colors for the nursery.” Children begin to form concepts of gender beginning around the age of 2, and most children know if they are a boy or girl by age of 3” (Martin & Ruble, 2004). From an early age, children are encouraged to identify with gender coding. Gender is formed at birth, but self-identification as being male or female is imbedded into their minds by parents and society. A child learns to understand their gender role and their identity by what is taught and expressed to them by others. Yet as a child grows, gender coding can cause cultural confusion, and insecurity issues throughout the course of their life.

Education has always been the most efficient tool for success in the 21st century. Due to it, people become professionals in various spheres, and it also provides means for prosperity. People acquire knowledge in order to lighten challenges they face in everyday life. Education plays a vital role in shaping an individual’s success in personal life. It assists people in earning recognition and respect in social relations with others. It also impacts the development of personal skills and the future career. However, teachers are also important contributors to a person’s brighter future. Their role has always been indispensable in the educational process of every student. The purpose of this essay is to analyze the purpose and problems of education in Deborah Tannen’s article How Male and Female Students Use Language Differently. Although, there are major inequalities in the overall standards of today’s education, students, themselves, create imbalance through their conversation styles in the classroom settings.

The way we speak today will be a thing of the past in the future because we are slowly getting away from interacting with each other in regular vocal conversations. The joy of hearing someone else’s voice with tone and emotions will be missed by some but never experienced by the rest due to them resorting to electronic communication as their source of interacting with others. The only way some will see other people is by using the video to video form of communication to converse with. People will not be able to appreciate the personal attention they will be missing by not mingling with another human being. Even the written form of communication will change drastically due to the evolution of writing styles, with the use of social media, and

To begin, Tannen’s article shows a primarily positive tone. She maintains a casual tone as she compares the dissimilarities between men and women’s communicative interactions. To further exemplify, Tannen first gives an example of either a male or a female encounter and then contrasts it with comparative words such as “but” or “while.” She uses language to divide but not exalt one language preference in greater esteem than the other. In her passage regarding apologizing,

“i am a linguist” says Tannen and briefly explains what that means and how it better helps her explore the topic. She lets it be known that in fact she is someone's daughter but does not have one of her own. But because she is well past her adolescent years makes her just as credible if she were to have one. At first it may appear that this piece was written for women and girls who presumably have wondered why their relationship with their mothers or daughters were so complex. On the contrary it grabs the attention of both genders. All though not directly targeted to men and boys it could give them a better insight to the women relationship in their lives. Tannen says “... there is a special intensity to the mother-daughter relationship because talk,particularly talk about personal topics -- plays a larger more complex role in girls’ and women's social lives than in boys and men.” this does not dismiss the male , and Tannen does an acceptable job at engaging both

Those who agree that gender is a social construct would also argue that gendered behaviour is not innate, and that it is learnt throughout development. Gender identity is defined as “the way in which being feminine or masculine, woman or man, becomes an internalized part of the way we think about ourselves” (Ryle, 2014). The idea of masculinity and femininity and the strong distinction between the two are taught to us throughout our lives. An individual’s earliest exposure to the concept of gender comes from parental influence. Many studies show that parents socialize their children from birth by creating distinct environments for boys and girls and treating son’s and daughter’s differently. For instance, parents are more likely to assign domestic chores such as cooking, mending clothes and doing laundry to daughters, whereas sons are more likely to be assigned maintenance chores such as mowing lawn, small household repairs and carrying out garbage (Lackey, 1989). Parents may also use more emotive language when talking to their daughter’s and might encourage certain interests such as math and science in son’s, by purchasing more math and science toys and committing to other promotive activities (Jacobs & Bleeker, 2004; Leaper, 1998; Tenenbaum &

Home life is a core area that can be the biggest influence on ones opinions of gender roles. The content of the article “Parental Influence on Children’s Socialization to Gender Roles” written by Susan Witt introduces where stereotypical gender association derives. Gender roles can easily be adopted through the household and when children are placed in an environment where it is easily transmitted through the parents’ then that child will follow their parents’ influences (Witt, par. 1). Schooling, media, and society are also large influences on children at a young age to behave a certain way. Self-concept is also a large chunk of the way children see themselves when they begin to grow and criticism from parents can be a large influence on shaping that child’s perspective (Witt, par. 3).

Anthropologists and sociologists agree that people commonly learn communication skills in younger years specifically in “sex-separate peer groups” (Tannen 345). Young girls are typically more reserved and generally confide their feelings and ideas in smaller groups with close friends. On the contrary, boys enjoy competing for attention in larger groups. The article mentions, “boys are expected to use language to seize center stage: by exhibiting their skill, displaying their knowledge, and challenging and resisting challenges” (Tannen

Throughout the history, in all cultures the roles of males and females are different. Relating to the piece of literature “Girl” written by Jamaica Kincaid for the time, when women’s roles were to work in the home. By examining

In Sex, Lies, and Conversation by Deborah Tannen, she does a good job in identifying the problems between how males and females communicate, and the reasons behind it. Going back as far as our childhood. She explains how as children, we usually play with kids of the same sex. Thus already creating different social circles, like the many different tribes in a jungle. Within these groups, male and females communicate and play in different ways. Males would prefer to create a platonic relationship through play, with examples of sports or activities. Where as females predominantly prefer to gossip or discuss topics in a calm setting. Causing different gendered children to become adaptive to one type of relationship building. As the children grow up, they are accustomed to the means of segregated communication.