Kali Holloway's 'Toxic Masculinity Is Killing Men'

In chapter 12, Jackson Katz talks about how awareness of violence against women needs to be introduced to boys at a young age. A large reason for this is how our society puts boys above girls. “Everywhere you turn, you see manhood equated with power and control – of other men as well as women” (Katz, 2006, 229). Katz talks about how everyday things effect young boys into thinking that they are superior: in super hero cartoons, music, and even nicknames of NASCAR drivers. Katz also states that boys get the message that any sign of feminine qualities is not good and that they need to be masculine at all times (Katz, 2006, 229).

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage, and we put boys inside the cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be, in Nigeria speak, ‘hard man’ (Adichie).

After watching the documentary The Mask You Live In in class, I realized how oblivious as a woman I was about issues young boys and men face in today’s society. This film underlines the influence culture has in inculcating a distorted definition of what masculinity is. From their early years and into their adulthood we teach boys not to show any emotion, view woman as the weaker sex and that the only way to resolve conflict is through violence. In doing so we lead our boys to fit into their gender stereotype and we commend destructive and harmful behavior. Therefore, boys develop many issues. They lose their sense of self-identity constantly trying to achieve what society deemed a “real” man should be. According to the film boys display different

As a boy grows into a man he faces the ever-raising mountain of masculinity. In regards to the occurrence, he finally reaches maturity he has no choice but in order to fight to retain his measly sense of manhood. He is not allowed to act feminine or else he’s not man enough, he can’t show his emotions, he has to hide that he can do anything a woman can do sans give birth. Boys grow up being told they are not allowed to cry and that they are supposed to be tough, that they are not able to be like girls and in the event that they are then they are not real boys. This concept is known as toxic masculinity, some people are not aware that men are being forced to suppress their emotions or even that toxic masculinity should be a topic that is

Closely related to notions of masculinity is mental health. As the Canadian Mental Health Association [CMHA] (2018) and CMHF (2018) report, beliefs about masculinity can discourage men’s interest in health issues, and stigma, fears of emasculation, vulnerability, and powerlessness in particular can dissuade interest in mental health. For example, many men have lower awareness of depression and anxiety symptoms or do not believe they are susceptible, and they often do not link issues or symptoms like anger and insomnia, to emotional distress (CMHA, 2018; State of Victoria, Department of Health 2015). Rather, men tend to employ maladaptive behaviours, like numbing, which can lead to self-destructive behaviours, such as violence

When boys are young they are told to toughen up or to stop acting like a girl when they are sad or want to cry. Michael Kimmel, author of “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code, discusses how there is a code guys are supposed to follow and how being taught natural behaviors, such as crying or talking about emotions, are wrong at a young age negatively impacts boys for their whole life. Emily Smith, the author of Life on the Island, talks about how a decrease in places that have a feeling of community increases the suicide rate among men. Everyone tells boys to act a certain way their father, coach, even people they don’t know, but this is not the only place they hear these negative statements. Television and magazine advertisements often depict men in an unrealistic way that feels unachievable and because of this young boys who view these ads feel negatively about themselves and because of the guy code they can’t share their feelings and emotions which can lead to depression or even suicide.

Masculinity kills, well in this case it leads men to have shorter life spans. A CALM (A Crisis in Modern Masculinity) report showed that half of the 1000 men and women surveyed had suffered from depression. 79% of those women talked to a friend about it while of 53% of men done so. 69% of men whom suffered preferred to deal with it by themselves. The traditional idea of masculinity and to be a man is to be

Continuing to follow the models of masculinity, which have implicitly taught men to “ignore diet, alcohol intake, amount of sleep needed, and emotional stress because of supposed link to femininity”, makes men like John typically reluctant to acknowledge pain that could be life-threatening (Meth & Pasick, 29). Emotional restriction has psychological costs of less self-esteem, relationship intimacy, more depression, increased use of substance abuse, marital dissatisfaction, and anxiety. Lippa’s study found that masculinity predicts how likely both men and women are to die in any age group. Over Conforming to masculinity models such as emotional distancing can be damaging to the individual’s physical and mental health. Furthermore, John’s domineering nature stems from the fact that models of masculinity allow only one emotion to be considered socially acceptable for men which is anger.

Being a male in today’s society is not about living and enjoyment, it has become more of a task. Social pressures and media have made it difficult for males to live a life in which they are not being pressured to act or perform a certain way. In order to reassure themselves of their masculinity, violence has become the main method in assuring themselves and those around them that they are powerful. Not only is this violence being perpetrated against others, but self-inflicted violence also exists. The violence being used is not only physical but it is emotional abuse as well. Masculinity has forced many males to perform in ways that are detrimental to their own health as well as their loved ones. Furthermore, it has also put males in the

Masculinity, a seemingly simple concept. Yet, when examined more closely, it is clear that masculinity is constantly changing in its definition as well as in its most basic essence. Throughout the years, one can see this evolution firsthand by looking back at the men who have been portrayed in popular media in the United States of America. From the suave Don Draper types of the 1950s to the more casual, educated, and easygoing men- with perfectly chiseled abs, of course- that are portrayed in media today, the difference is clear. This drastic, yet unsurprising, shift in ideals, as well as the exponential increase of media consumed every day, has led to a change in how “masculinity” is perceived, as well as how it is enforced by society in the modern day. Alarmingly, this trend has led to the birth of so-called “toxic masculinity”, a bastardization of the original ideas behind masculinity which has created an enormous, detrimental effect on society as a whole. As defined in the article The Difference Between Toxic Masculinity and Being a Man, toxic masculinity is “manhood as defined by violence, sex, status, and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything… where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured,” (O’Malley) This is a clearly displayed truth, and it’s astounding to see how even from a young age boys are taught not to show emotions other than anger, conditioned to believe that being “like a girl” is the worst possible

Misunderstandings of Hegemonic Masculinity’s relation to Violence have led to Hegemonic Masculinity being examined as a problem not only for women, but also for men. Interventions in relation to Hegemonic Masculinity, can be used for building gender equity and to reduce gender-based violence against women.

In Paul Theroux’s essay “being a Man” Theroux describes the detrimental effects of gender roles on the individual, specifically focusing on males and their quest for masculinity.

Masculinity and femininity are social constructions based on the biological terms male and female, respectively. Masculinity is often associated with the terms active, strong, dominant, and not nurturing; whereas, femininity is often associated with the terms passive, weak, submissive, and nurturing (Shaw & Lee 123, 126, 131). In today’s society, due to gender socialization, people generally believe that men should display masculinity while women should display femininity; this social belief is learned and initially taught to young children through heteronormative toys.

The traits that are normally associated with masculinity are ones that can be detrimental to the mental health of the people who have these traits. For example in an analysis of seventy eight different studies, researchers at the University of Indiana Bloomington found that men who exhibited masculine traits were more likely to have mental health issues such as depression. The same men were also less likely to seek help when it came to their mental health issues. The traits that were most commonly associated with the negative mental health were being self reliant, sexual promiscuity, and having dominance or power over women. Expecting someone to be stoic and only depending on themselves means they will be less likely to go and seek psychological help as they would feel that they need to be able to solve their problems themselves. This societal pressure upon men to be dominating and stoic is not good for their mental health. So the pressure should be lessened or removed to the point where men are no longer expected to have these traits as the other option leads to depression that goes untreated. This meta analysis, headed by Associate

Masculinity to the extent the term can be briefly defined at all, is simultaneously a place in gender relations, the practices through which men and women engage that place in gender and the effects of these practices in bodily experience, personality and culture.” (Connell 1995:72)