Kali Holloway's 'Toxic Masculinity Is Killing Men'

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage, and we put boys inside the cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be, in Nigeria speak, ‘hard man’ (Adichie).

In chapter 12, Jackson Katz talks about how awareness of violence against women needs to be introduced to boys at a young age. A large reason for this is how our society puts boys above girls. “Everywhere you turn, you see manhood equated with power and control – of other men as well as women” (Katz, 2006, 229). Katz talks about how everyday things effect young boys into thinking that they are superior: in super hero cartoons, music, and even nicknames of NASCAR drivers. Katz also states that boys get the message that any sign of feminine qualities is not good and that they need to be masculine at all times (Katz, 2006, 229).

After watching the documentary The Mask You Live In in class, I realized how oblivious as a woman I was about issues young boys and men face in today’s society. This film underlines the influence culture has in inculcating a distorted definition of what masculinity is. From their early years and into their adulthood we teach boys not to show any emotion, view woman as the weaker sex and that the only way to resolve conflict is through violence. In doing so we lead our boys to fit into their gender stereotype and we commend destructive and harmful behavior. Therefore, boys develop many issues. They lose their sense of self-identity constantly trying to achieve what society deemed a “real” man should be. According to the film boys display different

As a boy grows into a man he faces the ever-raising mountain of masculinity. In regards to the occurrence, he finally reaches maturity he has no choice but in order to fight to retain his measly sense of manhood. He is not allowed to act feminine or else he’s not man enough, he can’t show his emotions, he has to hide that he can do anything a woman can do sans give birth. Boys grow up being told they are not allowed to cry and that they are supposed to be tough, that they are not able to be like girls and in the event that they are then they are not real boys. This concept is known as toxic masculinity, some people are not aware that men are being forced to suppress their emotions or even that toxic masculinity should be a topic that is

When boys are young they are told to toughen up or to stop acting like a girl when they are sad or want to cry. Michael Kimmel, author of “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code, discusses how there is a code guys are supposed to follow and how being taught natural behaviors, such as crying or talking about emotions, are wrong at a young age negatively impacts boys for their whole life. Emily Smith, the author of Life on the Island, talks about how a decrease in places that have a feeling of community increases the suicide rate among men. Everyone tells boys to act a certain way their father, coach, even people they don’t know, but this is not the only place they hear these negative statements. Television and magazine advertisements often depict men in an unrealistic way that feels unachievable and because of this young boys who view these ads feel negatively about themselves and because of the guy code they can’t share their feelings and emotions which can lead to depression or even suicide.

Before diving into the harmful effects of masculinity, we first must dissect and define masculinity. While many associate masculinity with being strong and rigid, that preconception of what men should like is harmful and reprehensible. However some may still ask: what is wrong with being a man? The answer lies within the definition of masculinity. American culture classifies masculinity as tough, egotistic, powerful, and collected. We use the phrase, “man up” to exercise power over others while remaining toughened to oneself. “To be a man” is to play into the stereotypes projected onto young boys by society, with little room for individualism. There’s no room for compassion, empathy, or softened humanity. That would all be associated with

Masculinity kills, well in this case it leads men to have shorter life spans. A CALM (A Crisis in Modern Masculinity) report showed that half of the 1000 men and women surveyed had suffered from depression. 79% of those women talked to a friend about it while of 53% of men done so. 69% of men whom suffered preferred to deal with it by themselves. The traditional idea of masculinity and to be a man is to be

Continuing to follow the models of masculinity, which have implicitly taught men to “ignore diet, alcohol intake, amount of sleep needed, and emotional stress because of supposed link to femininity”, makes men like John typically reluctant to acknowledge pain that could be life-threatening (Meth & Pasick, 29). Emotional restriction has psychological costs of less self-esteem, relationship intimacy, more depression, increased use of substance abuse, marital dissatisfaction, and anxiety. Lippa’s study found that masculinity predicts how likely both men and women are to die in any age group. Over Conforming to masculinity models such as emotional distancing can be damaging to the individual’s physical and mental health. Furthermore, John’s domineering nature stems from the fact that models of masculinity allow only one emotion to be considered socially acceptable for men which is anger.

“The Mask You Live In” we see that masculinity is socialized and has many negative psychological effects such as depression. Boys must affirm their masculinity to others by being dominant through engaging in rituals such as “getting the girl” by affirming their heterosexuality and also by engaging in “sex talk.” Homophobia is seen as a weakness and feminine in a sense. Also, the idea of masculinity is constructed in a way that young boys do not feel secure with their masculinity it is constantly being challenged. As mentioned “masculinity is a rejection of everything that is feminine.” Boys are socialized into concealing qualities that are associated with girls such as crying. During Dr. Judy Chu’s study an interesting dynamic arose which essentially was a hierarchy was established between the pre-kindergarten boys. As these boys grow up they tend to find themselves lonely and feeling depressed which leads them to acting out by using drugs and alcohol as a

In Paul Theroux’s essay “being a Man” Theroux describes the detrimental effects of gender roles on the individual, specifically focusing on males and their quest for masculinity.

Scholars of Masculinity Studies analyse the emotional lives of men using various theories to show how masculinities are socially constructed and how men are expected even compelled, to behave in specific situations. Social conditioning, which encourages women to adopt certain codes of conduct, also compels men to behave in certain ways, such as, being the breadwinners of the family or accepting the taboo against emotional expressions of sorrow, love or tenderness. Male experiences of these taboos are not uniform but diverse and can produce different outcomes. The male characters as extensions of the broader social, political and cultural concerns of their particular context become sites for complex constructions of masculine identity especially

Misunderstandings of Hegemonic Masculinity’s relation to Violence have led to Hegemonic Masculinity being examined as a problem not only for women, but also for men. Interventions in relation to Hegemonic Masculinity, can be used for building gender equity and to reduce gender-based violence against women.

The traits that are normally associated with masculinity are ones that can be detrimental to the mental health of the people who have these traits. For example in an analysis of seventy eight different studies, researchers at the University of Indiana Bloomington found that men who exhibited masculine traits were more likely to have mental health issues such as depression. The same men were also less likely to seek help when it came to their mental health issues. The traits that were most commonly associated with the negative mental health were being self reliant, sexual promiscuity, and having dominance or power over women. Expecting someone to be stoic and only depending on themselves means they will be less likely to go and seek psychological help as they would feel that they need to be able to solve their problems themselves. This societal pressure upon men to be dominating and stoic is not good for their mental health. So the pressure should be lessened or removed to the point where men are no longer expected to have these traits as the other option leads to depression that goes untreated. This meta analysis, headed by Associate

Masculinity and femininity are social constructions based on the biological terms male and female, respectively. Masculinity is often associated with the terms active, strong, dominant, and not nurturing; whereas, femininity is often associated with the terms passive, weak, submissive, and nurturing (Shaw & Lee 123, 126, 131). In today’s society, due to gender socialization, people generally believe that men should display masculinity while women should display femininity; this social belief is learned and initially taught to young children through heteronormative toys.

Masculinity to the extent the term can be briefly defined at all, is simultaneously a place in gender relations, the practices through which men and women engage that place in gender and the effects of these practices in bodily experience, personality and culture.” (Connell 1995:72)