Love In Erich Fromm : The Art Of Love

Love is unique in its striking ability to be a driving force in dictating interpersonal relationships. It patterns behavior and orients individuals towards their distinct, unique attractions. According to Velleman, love penetrates deeper than one’s qualities; it extends to one’s rational will, or the essence of a person. To him, though love appears to have particularity, it is also a moral emotion. Kolodny subscribes to the relationship theory, asserting that an ongoing, interpersonal, and historical relationship with a relative is a part of the reason for love. In Kolodny’s view, the existence of the true self is irrelevant, as is the morality of love. Both Velleman and Kolodny disprove the quality theory; however, their perceptions of love and its morality differ. I believe that Kolodny is correct in his view that morality is irrelevant to love and that there must be factual reasons for love. Although it is enticing to believe that one is attracted to the essence of another, the essence is not motivation enough for love. The relationship theory takes into account the motivation needed to love a particular person from a historical, interpersonal, and ongoing perspective.

Throughout this course, we have learned different approaches and techniques regarding therapy and counseling. More so, multiple of these techniques are used to develop a plan for the benefit of the patient. Love’s Executioner (1989), written by Irvin D. Yalom, was a documentation of the relationship and interactions between Thelma and himself. Throughout the treatment, he used a variety of helping skills and approaches to attempt to breakthrough her within six months. Thelma’s reason for coming into therapy was that she was emotionally distressed based on a past experience. She perceived to be hopelessly in love with an old therapist of hers, Matthew. This “love” was more than an emotion felt and since it was not reciprocated, it was merely an obsession of the twenty-seven days she spent with Matthew. Through the course of this interaction, Yalom used a psychoanalytic orientation

Freud’s theory of personality examined the interplay between the primitive, instinctual urges—the ‘id’; the practical and rational ‘ego’; and the morally attuned ‘superego’; ‘object relations’ refer to the "object" of an instinct”, which is “the agent through which the instinctual aim is achieved”—most often a person and, according to Freud, most often the mother (Ainsworth 1969, p. 1). The psychosexual development theory that Freud launched reduces our behaviour to mechanistic responses to an instinctive need for pleasure fueled by the ‘libido’ and barriers or distortions to the gratification of the libido at various delineated stages of development were responsible for later problems in life (Kail & Zolner 2012, p. 5). Erik Erikson later added depth to the approach by including more humanistic elements to Freud’s stages and including more periods of development (p.

The main focus of this essay has to be on the three ‘core conditions’, as utilised by the counsellor to promote a positive movement in their client’s psychology. They are intended for maintaining a focus on the client’s personal growth, and detract from the therapist’s own outside world. The three core conditions are the professional apparatus or tool-kit of the therapist, and the use of each is a skill in itself but the combined forces of all three in an effective manner requires an abundance of skill or experience. These are, as have already been mentioned, congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy. They are separate skills but are intrinsically linked to each other. If used correctly, they can guide the client to a state of self-realisation, which could lead to the development of a healing process.

“Discovering Love” is an article about the definition of love and the different aspects, such as how it works and where you get it. Developmental psychologist Harry Harlow is the main contributor to this study. Harlow was particularly interested in how early life experiences, specifically interaction with one’s mother or primary caregiver, impact an individual’s ability to love and be loved by others later in life.

The human idea of love is quite possibly the most misunderstood in today’s society. Love can be between a man and woman, mother/father and their kids, or even really good friends. However, these relationships of love go through many interactions and stages to start and progress. Many psychological events must occur and be worked through in order to be successful. All relationships must endure the five perspectives of human behavior. These perspectives are biological, learning, social and cultural, cognitive, and psychodynamic influences.

In 1905 Sigmund Freud theorized that childhood development happens in stages, which are called “Psychosexual Development Stages.” In 1950 Erik Erikson developed “Psychosocial Stages,” which are greatly influenced by Freud’s theories. Freud’s theory centers on psychosexual energy or the libido. Erickson’s theory centers on issues and tasks being met at specific ages. Even though we are sexual beings, our developmental stages do not focus entirely on sexual pleasures. Both theories do show that personality develops in stages. Although, Erickson’s theory is the better theory.

It takes very special people to want to make a difference in people’s lives, to want to help them to be better. Some people seek to become counselors after overcoming a most important life challenge. The individuals that seek the profession of marriage and family therapy do not think of this work as a job or career, more typically a constellation of life experiences that demand explanation and a sense that others seek one out for assistance and emotional sustenance become driving forces leading one to counseling profession (An Invitation to Counseling Work).

Hazan and Shaver (1987) proposed the theory that ”Romantic love is an attachment process.” (Hazan & Shaver, 1987), which the individual will experience differently depending on the attachment history that has been formed by the internal working models based on the social interaction with caretaker as an infant. According to Bowlby, these internal working models are essential for attachment patterns throughout life from childhood till adult love relationships (Fraley, 2010).

Detached from love, being the “unloved”, and not knowing how to seek or expel love are all problems that are relevant to the lives of many. Through the plot of Ernest Hemingway’s “Soldier’s Home,” Jesse Lee Kercheval’s “Carpathia,” and Susan Minot’s “Lust,” it is evident that love and its psychology plays a major role in one’s self worth and ability to love and accept it in

Therapy is often said to be just as much of an art as it is a science. Namely because there is so much that goes into it. To create a successful therapeutic relationship, there are some key elements that need to be a part of the formula. Each therapist may end up having a different recipe, but it is important that a therapist knows what ingredients he or she may need and what they can add for it to be successful. Throughout this paper, this writer will discuss characteristics she hopes to embody as a therapist, as well as the values and skills she wishes to bring with her into a therapeutic relationship.

Early adulthood is the point in a human 's life where he or she is able to establish intimate relationships as well as friendships. Studies suggest that one is not fully developmentally complete without the formation of intimate relationships, for without them a person would become isolated and develop a fear of commitment, and likely, a mistrust in other people. To be able to form such intimate relationships one must have appropriately progressed through the earlier stages of life successfully.

There are many variables that influence the success of therapy for the client, none more so than the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship is defined as the strength and collaborative relationship between the client and therapist that emphasises mutually agreed goals and tasks within the context of a strong affective bond (Horvath, 1994.) In the therapeutic relationship, the clinician offers care, touch, compassion, presence, and any other act or attitude that would foster healing, and expects nothing in return (Trout, 2013.) Some clinicians believe that the “therapeutic relationship is a precondition of change, others as the fertile soil that permits change, while others see it as the central mechanism of change itself” (Norcross, 2010.) This is not to devalue other variables that impact the success of the therapy such as client involvement and the treatment method.

Upon reading Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving, I gained a better understanding of what love really is. Fromm’s book puts love into perspective. He begins with several facts with regards to the attitude in which people treat love. They are the problems of how to be loved, the object to love as well as the confusion between the initial experience of falling in love and the permanent state of being in love, which had a great impact on me, as far as thinking about what love is.

“Relationship” is a term that has been used in many different situations. It could imply the ties between two people in love, the bond between family members or close friends or colleagues or even the bond between a person and his or her pet. In conselling, relationship takes on a more specific meaning. The counsellor establishes rapport with the client based on trust, respect and mutual prupose. When there is good rapport, a positive psychological climate is created and vice-versa. The likelihood of desirable outcomes is greater when the psychological climate is positive. Mutual purpose means both the counsellor and client have common goals leading to what has been described as a