Marital Drift Essay

In the article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.,” author Hope Edelman claims her husband does not put forth effort in their marriage. Edelman discusses the difficulties of parenting with a spouse who is seldom present and her misconception of marriage. In the article “My Problem With Her Anger,” author Eric Bartels claims his wife is angry with him all the time regardless of what he contributes to their family. Bartels discusses how the effort he puts forth in his marriage goes unappreciated and how he thinks his wife’s anger is negatively affecting their marriage. Bartels and Edelman both believe they entered marriage with unrealistic views resulting in dissatisfaction of marriage however, Edelman

In over half a century, marriage has transformed from being a social requirement to simply being an option in today’s society. What has caused this change? Many institutions in our society have changed drastically along with marriage. Although these institutions have not caused marriage to be optional, they do strongly correlate with the decreased value. The economy, education, religion, and government have all altered since the 1950s. When any institution encounters a change, all other institutions are affected. Family is a major institution in society, and I believe that marriage is an important aspect of this institution. Cohabitation, religion, women in the work world and divorce have all effected the way marriage is viewed today.

xxxv. Husbands and fathers provided economic support and protection and represented the families to the outside world

Finally the author concludes, If the marriage is already in trouble, both partners in the marriage must be dedicated to working on their communication skills in order to improve or salvage their marriage.” (McNicholl) Both partners need to be willing to put in the work to improve their communication skills in order to save there marriage if there are any conflicts in the marriage. Without communication the marriage will continue to take it’s turn for the worst. Both of you need to want to improve your communication skills and to want to

In America’s society today, the norm of marriage consists of the fundamental idea that husband and wife both work and are independent. The idea that there is an emotional connection between the couples is the reason for the marriage. Andrew J. Cherlin, author of the article “American Marriage in Transition” explores how the transition in marriage occurred and why it affects everyone, and even destroys that one role that wives used to play everyday of their lives. Because of the popular and powerful transition to the modernized, individualized marriage, the role of the housewife has become obsolete.

disconnect and in the end causing a great emotional rift to be caused between husband and wife, and

When conflict occurs within a partnership there is oftentimes a withdrawal from intimacy within the relationship before the conflict is resolved and intimacy can occur again. This is known as the intimacy-conflict cycle. In Little Miss Sunshine the parents, Richard and Sheryl, tend to manage their dissatisfactions with cyclic alternation responses, which are instances when one of the partners voices a complaint that prompts the other’s response in order to resolve their conflict (Galvin, et al., 219). This is seen very

Unshared perspectives can be a huge issue in many marriages. Having different views on things usually lead to arguments. While arguing, the other is usually tempted to say something that they do not necessarily mean and that hurts their partner. In the article "The most frequent cause of divorce" it says, "Sure, there are more modern reasons as well as career, one partner wants children the other doesn't (the choice is what's new), different religions (such as Muslim and Christian) and finding neither wants to change." This is a prime example of unshared perspectives. career, children, and religion are all topics most couples would disagree on that could cause many arguments. Also, to know

More and more couples today live together or "play house" before taking the matrimonial plunge. Living together before marriage has become so popular that approximately half the couples in America participate in this activity (Gorrell 16). Some couples choose to live together to test their compatibility and possibly avoid an unsuccessful marriage. With the number of marriages ending in divorce these days, it sounds reasonable that many couples want to give marriage a trial run before making any formal commitment. But do the chances of a successful marriage actually improve by cohabiting?

The concept of a traditional American family has been profoundly changed over the last 100 years. Fewer marriages are forming, divorce rates are higher than ever, and childlessness is much more common. The decline of marriage and family life seems to be the inevitable product of progressive ideas and modern socio-political conditions. Feminist and contemporary liberal critics of marriage and family life appeal to individual rights, liberty, consent, equality, and love as they seek to dismantle and undermine commitment to marriage and family life. However, some scholars would propose that the actions and words of America’s Founders show how to reconcile marriage and family life with the same modern ideas of equality, individual rights, and

Spouses like any human being does not like to be blamed, condemned, belittled, criticized, debased, blown off, insulted, nagged at or a target of your harsh words and attitudes.

Couple therapy often refers to the common negative process, of pursuer and withdrawer, in order to understand the relational dance. This is the process where one partner purses the other through emotional demands, criticism, and complaints, while the other retreats through withdrawal, defensiveness, and passive interaction (Christensen, & Heavey,1990). Many theorists have identified a gender linkage with this pattern, suggesting women present as the demanding, pursuer, while men assume the role of the distant, withdrawer (Christensen, & Heavey,1990; Mornells, 1979). There is a belief among some theorists that this pattern results from different personality characteristics of men and women, and therefore impacted

Both types of couples have different mindsets about they way they act and deal with situations. When a marriage dies out, the main culprit of the failure is self-justification. The discomfort caused by their fights leads either side of the couple to make assumptions about behavior in their own ways. Cognitive dissonance affects relationships in many ways. One effect that it can cause is an act of impulsiveness by one side of the couple, that causes even more arguments in that sense because it only helps one side instead of the couple as a whole.

When couples realize their relationship is starting to fail, they will try different things such as marriage counseling. That is when the couple will sit down with a therapist and they will try to work their problems out. Sometimes therapy can help the couples work their issues out and get to the root of their problems. Another solution is a vacation or a second honeymoon where they can reconcile or rekindle the relationship that they use to have. Or even as far as moving away to get a new start on life, to try to get away from the old way of how things use to be and try to start a new life together again.

Conflicts which lead to unresolved issues can influence the quality of the marriage. Although several research was made on marital relationships, the factors which influence the arising of continuous conflicts are still not clear. Unresolved issues are problems which are continuously brought up in a marriage. However, marital conflicts are not the only source of unresolved issues in a relationship. Unresolved conflicts within the marriage can affect the longevity and quality of the marriage, but personal background and individual trauma contribute to marital problems more often than conflicts within the marriage. In fact, marital conflicts are usually started because of personal unresolved issues. If a person develops a behavioral property