Marriage And Lust

In a perfect world, most people imagine that it involves two loving adults, making a commitment to each other to be loyal, faithful, respectful, and truthful to each other. However, this isn’t a perfect world. Infidelity seems to be the root to many disastrous relationships. Infidelity occurs when the bond has been violated by one’s committed partner, who has gone outside the exclusive relationship. It is immoral and unethical. However, this is also a subjective feeling to this violation. In the Old Testament, adultery - having sex with someone other than one’s marital spouse - was a capital offense (Goode, 2015, p.216). However, there won’t be much investigating on the religious background adultery/infidelity because the focus will be on the human heterosexual monogamous relationships. This will also be in the perspective and approach from a constructionist. From a constructionist perspective, the goal is to answer the following questions: what makes infidelity deviant; how is it constructed to be deviant to the social norm; and what provokes one to be unfaithful to his/her partner?

If marriage is purpose driven as I have suggested then I would argue that sexual fidelity is what holds it together and that without it a marriage won’t last. I think that because in the end no matter how many people protest that sexual satisfaction can be separated from exclusive love, a point the Wasserstrom touches on, I disagree because I think it is hard wired into us. Maybe as some scientist have suggested it is because as we have sex with the same person over and over again oxytocin is released into our brain to rewire us to only be attracted to that other person. Maybe this is what causes humans to be jealous of others who are having sex with the person we have sexual feelings for. Even if it isn’t the reason I still think it can be said that most humans become jealous if the one they having sex with goes and has sex with another. This wanting of sexual exclusivity isn’t a bad thing, I think, because it has helped the human race survive by holding families together. Families that stay together tend to have a more stable environment which in turn has resulted in healthier, more socially adjusted children then families that aren’t as stable. Additionally lower jealousy among individuals leads to a more productive and less combative environment always a plus in our complex societies. Thus, I think, that until we biologically evolve to be wired differently, most people will continue to define marriage as requiring sexual fidelity. Also

Biblical sexual fulfillment is only achievable in the covenant of marriage, which is how God intends sexual fulfilment to be. In marriage sexual openness and fulfilment brings the two individuals that are united together into a deeper more intimate loving state. This deeper bond and intimacy that sexual fulfilment creates in this covenant of marriage between the two individuals also creates an understanding of the spiritual intimacy and closeness our Creator desires to have with us as individuals. Sexual fulfillment does not automatically occur in marriage between the two individuals that have united as one. They have to purposefully and intently strive towards obtaining this goal together to deepen and grow the marriage relationship. “The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment” by Clifford and Joyce Penner provides the information and guidance to understand and obtain sexual fulfilment in marriage the way God created and intended sex to be enjoyed, a wonderful gift from God, while learning together how to overcome the stumbling blocks Satan places in your path.

Having a healthy sexual relationship is very important in a marriage (Heller, 2016). 1 Cor 7:3, Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The Christian religion implements the use of scripture as the highest command for the way in which sexual ethics is implemented. Christian teaching explores several issues in light of sexuality such as extra-marital and pre-marital sex, homosexuality and pro-creation and I will write about these in this essay.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 is a great example of how a married couple should fulfill each other’s sexual needs, so sex was made to be a great thing. In verse nine of the same chapter it states that “it’s better to marry than to burn with lust”, which goes back to stating that sex is to be enjoyed in marriage so if someone feels like that they can’t control their sexual urges than they should just get married. The church has preached about this for many years and yet many Christian singles still engage in multiple sexual relationships, watch porn and masturbate and see it as a normal thing. There is an interesting article on Relevant Magazine’s website called “The Secret Sexual Revolution” where they mentioned a surprising statistic of the number of young adult Christians having premarital sex is at eighty percent. What I found most interesting about this article is this

There is a big discussion occurring in Australia about the redefining of the definition of marriage. Over the next few issues of the Messenger I want to share with you a biblical Christian view on God’s values and design for sex, sexuality and relationships. I believe it is important that Christians know what we believe about sex, sexuality and relationships, but more importantly I believe we should also know the why or the basis of what we believe.

Where the openness about their sexual desire is so blatant, that it is used in books about sexuality and sex within marriage. Of course, along with Song of Solomon is God’s creation account where he gives man and women the ability to consummate their marriage and procreate. Along with these passages are the continual reminders of purity and remaining pure until marriage. However, I believe these messages about purity and love can also apply within marriage. Sadomasochism emphasizes on pleasure and while sex is made in a way that is pleasing, sexual intimacy is not only made to produce pleasure, but to express the closeness and love of two individuals within marriage. Also, the pleasure directly refers to acts that cause physical and emotional pain, these aspects of pleasure do not align with biblical teaching on marriage, sex or general relationships with

Human beings are selfish creatures that want what they cannot or do not have, even if it violates their beliefs. The act of adultery is an example of this desire. The modern definition of adultery is “sexual unfaithfulness of a married person” (Merriam-Webster 11). Many people use the Bible’s definition of adultery, but in the Bible, the actual term “adultery” is not utilized. Instead, the ancient Hebrew word, naaph (נָאַף), is deployed, which means,“ the act of committing adultery, usually of a man, and always with the wife of another, or with accusative women” (Source 4).

Throughout the Bible the four gospel writers talk about being loyal to your spouse. What these writers talk about also refers back to the tenth commandment. The tenth commandment states that thou shalt not commit adultery. When God gave Moses these ten commandments on Mount Sinai he wanted all people to follow these commandments as a set of laws and if you were to break these commandments your friendship with God will

Yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall be your master." (Genesis 3:16). This tells us that, according to the Christian religion, women shall naturally be dominated by men. This kind of behavior is not conducive to a being who believes in inherent equality.

True love is sacrifice and it means to give EVERYTHING and ALL of you as Christ did. That is why someone would wait till marriage because they would want to make a covenant before God saying I will give everything I am for this person I will now call my spouse. As Tobias prayed in the book of Tobit with his wife saying, “We do not do this because of lust but for a noble purpose.” So the point is if you only just have sex for pleasure with no intent to have

Somewhat surprisingly, the Bible has a lot to say about sex, and most of it is good. In fact, Song of Solomon (also called Song of Songs) is a book that details the good pleasure of

What is the difference between love and lust? According to the dictionary, love is a feeling of strong and constant affection for a person. On the other hand, lust is a strong sexual desire for another (“Merriam-Webster”). The definitions of love and lust are complete opposites. Love is a constant feeling, while lust is impermanent. Yet, the two are always confused between people. This is because of the word “strong” in both of the definitions. When a person is deeply in love or is consumed by lust, the feelings are both strong. Therefore, it is sometimes challenging to differentiate. Banksy, a well-known street artist, realized the problem with love and lust, and decided to teach people a lesson by painting a piece of street art called “Waiting in Vain…at the Door of the Club.”

The evil of lust is reducible to this: that sexual satisfaction is sought for either outside marriage or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse. Indulging in lust is a mortal sin, provided of course, it is done in a way that is voluntary in itself and fully deliberate. This is the testimony of St. Paul in the letter to the Galatians, 5:19: “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury… Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God.” GLUTTONY: Overindulgence in food or drink. Gluttony is one of the seven capital sins (1866). The moral deformity discernible in this vice lies in its defiance of the order postulated by reason, which prescribes necessity as the measure of indulgence in eating and drinking. A glutton wants things according to the apt rendering of Father Joseph Rickably: too soon, too expensively, too much, too eagerly, too daintily. Someone habitually gluttonous is so wedded to the pleasures of the table as to live merely to eat and drink, so minded as to be of the number of those, described by the Apostle St. Paul, “whose god is their belly” (Phil 3:19).