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My Defining Moment Essay

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The last time I saw Dominic he was breaking a potted plant on his way out of my front door. When I heard the crash of the heavy plaster planter against the entryway tiles, I crept out of my bed like a child after bedtime, afraid of the scene I might find. I was met with a slamming door and a possession in pieces. In a moment of confusion and indignation, I drew a line in the spilled soil with my bare foot. Internally, I told myself he had crossed the line for good. Dominic had always been neurotic, a little dangerous, and quick to annoy. Now, Dominic is dead. I was the one to extend the invitation to Dominic, a long-time friend, suggesting we heavily imbibe for a much-needed night of catching up. I drank to celebrate the status of a new and happy relationship, and Dominic drank to forget a recent but unrequited love. I ran out of whiskey quickly, sharing with others in our company, but nothing stopped us from piling into a car to seek …show more content…

. Once I got to my destination to meet my friends and colleagues, I couldn’t keep a smile on my face. I was incapable of explaining, to a table of people, the loss I had just experienced. I excused myself early to be alone. The anger in me boiled over, as I realized the impatience I felt was guilt; shame that I fell away from someone I cared so deeply about. How I let him slip through the cracks for the sake of my pride. In my mind, I painted the scene of his last moments before he took his own life. The cycle of ‘If I had just…’ began quickly and completely consumed me. I blamed myself. The responsibility that comes with friendship became such a confusing thing for me to navigate from then on. In an attempt to prevent this heartbreak from repeating, I distanced myself from social relationships. I isolated myself and let all that sadness and bitterness collect and stick like pollen around my inner

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