My Fear

As you grow older, you also become wiser, and the way you used to look at things also changes, and even though you regret your former actions, you will have to live with how it turned out, instead of being stuck in the past and how it could had been.

One of the fear factors that happened to me was as soon heading to college, all I was thinking was, how are the professors going to be, are they going to be nice, funny, mean, or easy going? Another thing that had gotten me thinking is that if I was going to find a parking spot because college parking can be hard to find because it more students than high school. When I got there to Modesto junior college (east campus) I didn’t find a parking right away it took me a while to find one, but I realized that I should have left earlier from my house. Finding a parking distracted me about the nervously I had about how my professors will be. As soon as I got into the class room I got started to get butterflies in my stomach, some were about excitement and some about fear because I was scared to know how my professors can be.

In fact, this statistic is that one in ten children will be sexually abused before the age of 18 ("Child Sexual Abuse”). I remember always thinking that this was just a sad statistic, but I never wanted to admit to myself that I was a part of that ten percent. When I was a child, I was sexually abused by a person in my family. This abuse lasted until I was about six years old. The abuse would not happen often but I can vividly remember it happening. As a child, I had no clue what was going on. I did not know that what was being done to me was wrong. Because I was abused by a family member, it put me in a very odd situation. I was young and did not want to get myself in trouble by speaking out, and I also did not want to get that family member in trouble. I was so afraid to say anything and I just remember being so confused by the whole situation. Not only was I confused, but I was also terribly embarrassed by the whole situation. When my parents found out about the abuses, they put an immediate stop to it. I have no clue how they found out about what was going on but I am so glad that they found out. As a six year old boy, I do not think I would have had the courage to tell them what was happening. I am an 18 year old boy now and I still do not talk about this incident. This is my biggest secret and my biggest embarrassment. I know I should not be ashamed or embarrassed by

Everyday was like walking on eggshells because of the anticipation and fear of not knowing what was to occur on any given day. There were days when everything was calm and serene and other days filled with chaos and wretchedness. Life was like a roller coaster ride that never ended. My parent’s motto was, “Children are to be seen and not heard”, my brother and I never dared to tell anyone else or express our feelings about the traumatic experiences we were going through in our home. I can’t speak on behalf of my brother but I grew up having low self-esteem and being afraid to speak around many people because I always believed I didn’t have a voice that deserves to be heard. Therefore, up to this day, I’m still working on learning to overcome my fear of speaking in front of others and building the confidence to succeed in life. This has been the most difficult task for me to accomplish because my past experiences have been ingrained in my mind and

When I was a child, every time I saw my mother crying and hurting from all the abuse induced by her husband, the person who was supposed to protect her, I ask God, why? I never received an answer. As the abuse continued and life went on, I was never able to forgive him for the suffering that he caused not only to my mother, but to me as well. I was carrying all the miseries from my childhood and taking out on the people who love and care for me. There was no closure for the pain and suffering. The only person that I saw comfort and security from was my father, a man who never allowed me to pity myself or blame myself for other's actions. He was always there for me until my eighteenth birthday when he decided that I was “old enough to be on my own;” it was his own way to attempt making me independent. Everything became blurry at that point in my life. There was nowhere to turn except the only person who had the opportunities in her eighty years to master the meaning of true forgiveness: my grandmother, Consuelo, which her name literally means to console. Living with her and listening to her life stories allowed me to comprehend

Failing at learning something new is a fear of mine for many reasons. Failing at learning to swim is a fear of mine because every time I get invited to go to a water park I decline because I do not

One question we seem to ask our self is what do we fear the most? Some fear about death or not living life to the fullest. Mines is not being successful in life. See I am an overachiever, so not being successful is not an option.

I would not want having days where there is a ton of homework for each class. Also, don’t feel like giving up after failing a test or project. I know failing will really bring you down, but failure should make you want to do even better. Achieving these simple short term goals is simple, yet difficult. It is hard to resist from playing video games or doing whatever fun activity want, but homework and your studies should be your number one priority for now. One of fears is not getting into a good or decent college, and feeling left behind, while others do. I would feel horrible, and regret every second of my highschool life not studying. Doing great in school gives many benefits to your life, by just giving up some

One fear I had for college was not being able to keep up with my academic assignment and falling behind. Taking several classes through the summer and having a load of assignments was hard for me to handle. When we were given our schedules for the

From time to time, in your pursuit of doing what you strive to do, there will be roadblocks or obstacles getting in the way of your success. Most people simply give up at that point, stop trying with the excuse of, “it’s not worth it,” or “it’s too hard.” If I had done that and quit at the first few obstacles, I would have never been able to come to the point that I am at today. If I hadn’t had the willpower and grit to do the things that I had done, then I might have still been an amateur swimmer, have barely any friends, and not have advanced as a mathematician. Overall, overcoming your fears, trusting yourself, and having the determination to pass anything in your way will result in a great amount of eminence, success, and contentment.

Throughout my life I've suffered through nurmous horrific events. It began when I was born, when I was diagnosed with Poland syndrome. Poland syndrome is a rare birth defect characterized by underdevelopment of the chest muscle on one side of the body. In most individuals, (me) the missing part is the large section of the muscle that attaches to the upper arm on one side and the breastbone on the other, In women the breast will be noticeably different in overall size and nipple size. I attend a facilty titled "Touching You," for treatment and will later have corrections surgically made later down the road. When I was six years old, my father remarried for the first time to a woman who haunts my mind til this day. Her father took

Life never goes as goes as planned, at one second your life can change completely and flip upside down. You never know what’s going to happen next. You can’t plan to win the lottery or when you are going to be in a car accident. Life isn’t always fair and you get hit with the worst you could ever dream of. My worst fear is to get an injury. And that exactly happened to me. An injury can hold you back from a lot of stuff especially when you don’t want it to come the most.

My childhood was traumatic, and I am thankful that the door to my childhood is locked, sealed, and chained. I am one of five children, and I was raised by my mother. At the age of six, I fled with my mother and siblings to Arkansas in order to escape the abuse of my father. He was going to kill us; however, we were able to escape before he could. Throughout my second-grade school year, we flew back and forth to Hawaii to testify against my father. The courts convicted him and sentenced him to ten years in prison for the physical and sexual abuse that he inflicted upon my siblings and me. As a result, my mother was left to raise us alone. Life was not much better with my mother, for she abused us both mentally and physically. The mental abuse I suffered cut far deeper than any physical abuse ever could, so

After retiring from the military five years ago, I had achieved my long term goals of serving my country, I have lived for our country, but it’s time has come to look after myself. I was enjoying myself, friends and family members with the love and happiness of being home. I was waiting for the last child to go away to college, so that I can pursue my education. A family incident of two of my grandchildren that were an innocent bystander was killed by gang violence in Chicago, Illinois around 2015.

An obstacle I will have to face during my college experience is fear. Fear does not warn or care, it is unexpected and does not leave you alone. It has not only prevented me from being able to speak in front of my class but to even fail classes in the past. There are ways to prevent fear such as being motivated and positive, but fear will always make me second doubt myself.