College Years: After I graduated high school, shortly before I went to college, I began my first long-term relationship with a slightly younger guy. We became inseperable the summer after I graduated high school, and it was only a few months before I told him that I was in love with him. I tried to maintain the label of lesbian despite having a boyfriend because I was not yet ready to relinquish the title that gave me freedom to be masculine. Also, I felt uncomfortable relinquishing my lesbian title because it was the only label that I had ever truly identified with. Having not been introduced to diverse terms such as queer, pansexual, as so on, I didn’t not want to revert back to being straight or simply bisexual, as neither of these felt right to me. Klien explains that, while some youth coming out of the closet enjoy labels as a source or validation, other’s find them “frustrating or limiting (315).” At this point in my identity processing, labels only worked as limitations because I was afraid of labels. The label transgender represented a step that I wasn’t ready to make, but to be straight meant that I was letting go of the sense of difference I felt. It wasn’t until I took my first introductory Women’s Studies class that I became truly acquainted with the gender spectrum and the concept of queerness. For me, this opened the door to a new world of possibilities. I adopted the label agender and told people who asked about my sexuality that it existed within a
Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the
The world around us is immense. It is filled with extraordinary individuals, places and experiences. The bonds we form are ceaseless. Every relationship that is formed is one that we would like to experience over and over. Relationships in the world vary from one individual to another but, it is a solid connection that we as a people want to shape in our lives. The different connections that are formed, shape our identity and the identity of who we will become in the coming future. A relationship is a way in which two or more objects, people or concepts are connected. To me a relationship can mean many things but one way that I believe every relationship has is beauty. A way where objects, concepts and people can connect is beautiful because it Is new.
Around my middle school years, I knew something about myself was unique, but I could not quite put my finger on it. No one in my family was gay, the word gay was rarely spoken and I did not even know queerness existed. My family lived a very heteronormative lifestyle and I always assumed I would marry a girl and have children. I remember very clearly a day when I was in sixth grade, I was standing in the hallway after class and someone asked me, “are you gay?” I did not know how to react, I did not even know what the word “gay” meant. I immediately replied “NO” as the term gay was always used synonymously with stupid. After school that day, I asked my grandma what it meant to be gay and she described what it mean to be gay. In that moment,
Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of
Becoming a Visible Man was an insightful and intriguing book to read for this course. It first caught my attention with the picture of the author on the cover smiling next to a billboard of a man bursting through water, almost as if he was being reborn. The process of being reborn was then seen as a common theme throughout the autobiography. The concepts of transsexualism caught my attention during class because I was least familiar with this sub population of individuals within the queer community. I strived to know more about the understandings of what it was like to go through changes in gender, its effects on relationships both sexual and non, as well as the emotional struggle that some people faced with themselves through the process
In Whipping Girl, the author writes about her sexuality, declaring, “In my case, I went from being a straight man to a lesbian woman in the eyes of the world.” (Serano 87) Since Serano was attracted to women, for her, transitioning meant not only losing cisgender and male privilege, but heterosexual privilege as well (Serano 87). This complicated her identity as a trans women for many outsiders since, as previously mentioned, many believe that trans people transition in order to gain access to heterosexuality. This is reflected when Serano later describes, “As a dyke-dentified trans woman, the most common question I’m asked when I do trans outreach presentations is, ‘Why did you change your sex if you are attracted to women?’ Essentially, what these people are asking me is why on earth would I choose to be a woman if not to attract and appease the desires of heterosexual men?” (260) This account displays how trans sexualities become presumed or erased in order to support a model that suggests their reasons for transitioning have to do with gaining heterosexual privilege (Serano 260). Looking at questions such as those posed to and by Serano in this excerpt represents how the presence of homosexuality in transgender people can often be
There are many different kinds of relationships, and all of them require a commitment and an understanding between people. There are ties of friendship, relationships with family, those that we have with co-workers, and there are relationships in which two people are romantically involved. Regardless of the type of relationship, the desires are the same, to have perfect harmony between all connected. However, since we are human, a perfect relationship usually does not exist. When relationships are broken, or venture upon rocky seas, there comes a time when a person must decide if the union is important enough to work on mending the relationship.
Growing up everyone is told that they are unique. “Be yourself,” “use your God-given talent,” and other expressions such as these impress the aforementioned narrative into our minds. Thus, when I was around thirteen years old, I thought my sexuality was just a part of me that only I had. I wanted to share this feature about myself; I wanted to take pride in it and show it off. Coming out to a close few friends showed positive and emotional responses. Riding on this high, I was ready to embrace myself in high school. Yet, my naivety took the best of me as I was going to an all male, religious high school. My sexuality has provided me with experiences that have and will continue to shape my life. These struggles, whether they are internal or external, have provided me with invaluable skills.
Furthermore, I have learned how many genders there actually are! For that I have The Gender Book to thank. Within the book it discusses multiple gender such as asexual, cisgender, transgender, intersex and so forth. One of the best and most important parts of this class was truly learning the definitions and proper words for certain genders. As I had stated in a previous journal, I had never known the proper word for intersex, the words I knew that were suppose to represent an individual who was intersex were cruel and hurtful and I had only heard of this gender in sick jokes. Through interviews and readings, I learned how common it is for an individual to be intersex. I learned about individuals who had their genders decided for them at birth, which was usually actually a mistake on the surgeons part. I learned that multiple individuals had to live a lie and had to feel confused and lost due to a doctor making the wrong call such as David from As Nature Made Him. A poor young man who was not able to live his life to the fullest because of the mental scars he was left with due to a botched surgery. After the multiple readings about David and the main book we had to read, but especially the
In a lot of places around the world more and more people are coming out as “Transgender.” The term transgender means that the person’s gender identity does not correspond with the gender they were assigned as having at birth. From personally having a transgender boyfriend I have since realized that these people experience a lot of discrimination in and from society. Many people simply just do not understand what the term transgender means and they see it as someone just “wants to be a man” or “wants to be a woman.” While there may be people who present it this way, it is more so that the individual just “feels” different, and “feels” as if they are “in the wrong body.” Some people experience this feeling at a young age as my boyfriend did in his elementary age. We live in a world who put these people down for being who they truly are, and no human being wants or needs that.
To create positive relationships, you need to set an example by using effective communication skills when dealing with others. This includes when both initiating conversation and responding to it. Positive relationships, meaning beneficial relationships for both children and adults, open lines of communication in all areas. Effective communication with both children and adults create a bond and therefore a positive relationship which results in the person responding in the way you would like them to. Without effective communication, relationships can break down and misunderstandings can occur leading for poor communication and a progressively worse atmosphere. Poor levels of communication and unhappiness at work between two colleagues can show in front of children and set a precedent for behaviour. Children are still learning appropriate ways to behave and therefore copy behaviour that they see, treating others accordingly.
What does marriage mean? By definition, marriage is “the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife” (Webster’s Dictionary). Most people claim that they want their marriage to last a lifetime. Because over half of all marriages in the United States end in a divorce, most people lack the understanding of what it takes to stay married. I believe that couples should become more aware of the commitment that they are making when they enter into marriage.
In this world, to live a life, everybody needs someone to always be there by their side. It is not possible to stay alone and be happy at the same time. We can lower our pain by sharing it, or increase our happiness if we can share our happiness with others. People stand with us, share our feelings, bond with us and become a part of our life. We can’t imagine the life without the people who matter the most to us. Some we meet with the needs, some meet with destiny and some stays from the very first day of our life. These connections and commitment of being there make relationships. There is different steps, ways and views of every relation. Trust, love and respect are three different ways to show the importance of our relationship.
together in the early 1980's were between 25 and 34 years old, and an additional
Throughout today’s society, there are multiple views and opinions on whether or not there are more than two genders or if gender is even just a social construct. Each person has their own individual preference on how they express their gender. Therefore, we can no longer assume what someone identifies as just by looking at them. Over the years I have learned more about gender expression and gender identity as I gained friends who were homosexual as well as transgender. I feel as if I was introduced to all of these ways of life at a young age, therefore I can, in some ways, teach those who are uneducated and do not know what to think. I have personally never really thought about the different gender identities I could label myself as but as of right now I identify as a cisgender female