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Obstacles Of The American Dream Dbq Essay

Decent Essays

My best essay that I wrote throughout the year was by far the Mango DBQ which was titled as “The Obstacles of the American Dream”. This was my best essay because of many reasons. One reason why is because I received a 98 percent on it which was my best grade of the year. Also this essay was easy to write because when papers have many structures that need to be followed it is very straightforward for me.
I had many strengths in my paper such as my evidence and analysis. Every piece of evidence that I had was a quote from the book and I cited each page with the correct format. Also my evidence clearly helped my thesis because it was all about the psychological and racial discrimination of the American Dream and all my evidence supported that. Besides the evidence of my paper, the analysis is exceptional too. In my analysis of each quote it explained the it and added more argument towards what I believed. Another strength of my paper is my conclusion because it explained the reason why I wrote this paper. It is because even though there are many obstacles in getting to the American Dream, if you have the mindset to want to achieve it then it can be done. It clearly states the so what of the paper and why some people don't achieve it, but other do.
Even though there were many strengths of …show more content…

One thing is the sentence fluency. Another is the amount of descriptive words in the sentences that shows how appetizing the dish is. The more adjectives and adverbs the more improved the writing will be. Some ways that I can help improve the sentence fluency is vary the length of each sentence so that some are more complex than others. Another way it could read more fluent is if I add more transition words after paragraphs and sentences. Even though, those changes could be easily fixed, one thing I need to improve on is adding more adjectives and adverbs to make my writing more fluent and

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