Personal Narrative: How Anxiety Ended My Life

As I got older, the feelings of anxiety grew more intense until everything seemed to come crashing down all at once. Eventually, I decided that I had had enough of constantly feeling suffocated from my anxiety. I began to do lots of research and would do projects on anything and everything involving mental health. Remembering how awful I felt everyday, I decided that I would do everything I could to help others with their mental health. I would constantly check in with my friends to make sure that they were okay and that they were taking care of themselves. I became a more caring and sympathetic person from something that had total control over my life. I do not think I would be the person I am today if I had not dealt with those feelings of anxiety and

One frequently trust that agony doesn't exists unless you are seeping in blood, in a stretcher, or staggering with a limp yet here and there the most excruciating evil spirits are the ones you cannot see. So we figure out how to grin, how to smile and bare it since no one likes to discuss the difficult times. For hell's sake, who does like to talk about the difficult times? Each cell in the body is moving quick and the veins are foggy. It feels like bees are in her ears like an old fashioned music player playing all the tracks at once and she doesn't understand why she's grinding her teeth, cracking her knuckles, rubbing her index fingers against her pinkie, or always twisting her senior ring around her middle finger. She's holding herself likes she's the only lifeline crossing a barrier between reality all while on two feet and the loud commotions, sounds, and feelings racing to her veins. She's avoiding eye contact. Not

It always started and ended with a stirring, deep in her belly. The candle sitting in her core had been spontaneously lit and the fire was gradually growing, standing taller and spreading a slow heat in her chest. Instinctively, she pulled her gut in, attempting to suffocate the flame, but realized that the effort was futile as her fingers began to tremble. Not now, she thought. What could it have possibly been this time? She knew that the question had no exact answer as she recalled the article that she had read months before, “Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and without warning.” Still, she couldn’t help but wonder if her senses had betrayed her, if some part of her had picked up something in the crowded room that had served as a

When I was in the seventh grade I fell down the stairs at my junior high school on slushy December day. One of my friends helped me to the school nurse and when I got there she simply handed me a ziploc bag of ice and sent me on my way back to class. I went the rest of that day limping class to class. After school, my mother picked me up unaware of what happened earlier that day. Once I told her she took me to the emergency room right away. After numerous x-rays the verdict was in... I had fractured my growth plate in my left ankle. I believe the school should have taken better safety precautions since I was not the only one to fall on those stairs, there were two other falls on the same stair case prior to mine. In my option I think in

Of course I was the first to be called up to give my introduction speech! Perhaps because my professor knew me so well? Who knows… but I was actually glad that I was chosen first because I get to set the bar without having to worry about competing with the previous speeches. So with that positive mindset, my anxiety levels were really low. On a scale from one to ten I’d say I was a solid two! As soon as I was about to speak I observed my audience, their faces, movements, and eyes. All the attention was on me and I got right into my zone.

When you told the class about our assignment and how apart of it was going to be not using our phones for 6 hours, I felt a rush of anxiety jolt through my body as you said those words. I know that sounds terrible that I physically could feel anxiety in my body after hearing that, but it’s true, I was anxious and honestly a little annoyed. My phone is my lifeline, basically it’s like a baby to me. I have it with me for almost twenty-four hours a day and have it right beside me when I sleep.

Anyone experiencing panic attacks knows all too well what it is like to experience these. The people I’ve worked with have described many of those symptoms. It is happening to all segments of our society. One lady told me she tried to hide it because she didn’t want to have people think she was crazy, she felt like she was crazy or at least going crazy. It can be debilitating. High functioning individuals can have panic attacks. One person I worked with had been experiencing panic attacks for over twenty years and yet was financially doing well. He had learned to manage and cope; he had developed some amazing survival skills. The best way he had been able to manage these episodes was to be an entrepreneur, which allowed him to call his own hours and

So i know i have not told you but I have been having panic attacks and i saw a doctor and counselor about it. I honestly think this has been happening for some time now but i just started to realize it. And that one day i went to your house i think i was just having a panic attack. But my counselor told me to write letters to my closest friends. So um ill be honest i didn't like you the first times i meet you i'm sure you know that but not that im hanging out with you you're pretty cool. But im going to be honest you are as close as family to me but i dont know what exactly is up with you lately but you have been acting like a dick recently but whatever. Um honestly smoking with you ivan and alex was a fun time especially everyday

My father always told me to try my hardest, as every caring parent does. He made my sisters and me strive to be the best at whatever we do. He then died. It was October 3rd of 2006; he was on his motorcycle going to work when he was hit and killed on impact by a driver who made an illegal U-turn. It was October 3rd of 2006 when he left my mother, sisters, little brother, and myself to go on and make him proud. Since then there has been no stronger driving force for my efforts and success. While there have been challenges along the way, I, with the constant support of my family, have done my best to meet my goals.

There was a time that I use to have crippling anxiety attacks and it’s something I deal with on a daily basis, but it’s something that through the years I have become better at mastering and taming. My anxiety is something that use to cripple me and make me choke during speeches. Sometimes just being in front of people would cause an episode. I use to be afraid of meeting new people and I let it constantly control my actions and stop me from taking chances and opportunities. This is something that I regret to this day. Now I try to get more involved with people and make new friends. I have made so many new friends by not letting my anxiety control me.

Personally, I have gone through a recovery process with anxiety disorder. Last year, I went through a dark phase because I dealt with the feeling of constant fear with no little explanation 24hrs. Even though everything in my life was perfect, I could not sleep, eat, and be happy. I was excessively worrying something bad could happen to me and I was unable to relax.As months progressed, my situation got worse that it impacted my daily activities in life such as going to school or work. I felt like I was suffocating deep in my thoughts and trapped in a prison. However, no one in my family could understand what was going on. My family would make comments such as stop fearing and pray. I felt so miserable that I could not have peace inside me.

To you, I am just another story to tell. My phone is on, but I haven’t received a text in weeks. You remind me of that every day. You laugh at me, call me a whore, tell me I am crazy. To you, I am just another girl for you to destroy. Depression, you make me physically ill. You make me thoughtless. I can’t concentrate on conversations or school anymore. I am just so exhausted. I look forward to the moment I can crawl into bed and sleep my life away. You made my life not worth living. Anxiety, you lowered my self-esteem. I can’t even wear my hair up in ponytails because you told me my forehead was too big. You told me that everyone was watching me walk down the hallway, judging my plain outfits. You pulled me into extreme isolation. When you

The first thing to know about me is that I am a shy person until I feel comfortable. I like to have good relationships with my teachers because it takes away any uneasiness. It is important to me to be in a comfortable environment because of my anxiety. I have always been an anxious kid, but it became more serious from seventh grade and on. I regularly get panic attacks that happen whenever and wherever, but more likely if I don’t feel safe. If I start to panic during class, it’s best for me to have someone I trust close by. Lucky for me, a couple of my friends will be attending your class with me.

During my childhood and early teen years I did not think much about death, because I never experienced it and my parents never mentioned that topic. Death was not something that I necessarily feared only because I never had to think about it. I only thought of death as something that happened to older people and mostly to people on television. Furthermore, I never thought of death happening to me or anyone in my immediate family. Consequently, I had distanced myself from death and for several years managed to ignore my own mortality. It was not until my teenage years that I began to develop anxiety and fear of death after living through certain societal events such as mass shootings, terrorist attacks, and killings of people of color.

It all started when I was divorced on 07/25/2014. I have been battling severe depression and anxiety with an occasional suicidal thought since then.