Personal Narrative: My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

When I think about my cultural identity I find myself resorting to the word “normal”. I grew up in a town where everyone looked the same, everyone worshiped the same God, and everyone was in the same economic class. It’s interesting to really break down my individual cultural pieces to find that actually there are so many differences that I was simply too naïve to see. The culture that one grows up can be so different from one household the next, that there really isn’t a “normal” culture out there.

Everything that I had felt in the past year summarized by three words, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. The psychiatrist seemed unperturbed as she told me, as though this was common. It felt comforting originally, knowing that I wasn’t the only one who’s felt this way, but that feeling swiftly turned into despondency. Those three letters have become my identity, I am no longer Emma. On many occasions, I have met people who lack understanding when it comes to this disorder. Their faces burned into my memory as they speak, “Oh, Emma, that’s no big deal! I’m a little OCD too,” or “Emma, everyone has a touch of OCD,” or “I totally relate, I’m so OCD about my school supplies, I like it when my folders are in rainbow order.” Each time the word used incorrectly, the more normalized it becomes and the less help I receive. This is because if everyone has a “touch of OCD,” then why is it so crucial for me to be assisted? Why should I have to remain isolated in guidance when it happens to everyone? OCD has been portrayed by the media in a way that is incredibly inaccurate and

To say my faith life has been completely revamped in the last year would be an understatement. I had views and ideas about faith that seem somewhat vile to me know with the experiences I’ve had. From just lectures to the retreats my spiritual side has gone from that of a holiday catholic to a Campus Ministry Student. From little things to big ethic topics I’ve changed in a multitude of ways, my Spiritual Autobiography looks like looks like someone else wrote it compared to any year before it. I think faith is one of the most important aspects of our life and it took me until last year to realize it.

Throughout my elementary school days, my teachers regarded me as a trouble maker. Most instructors just assumed that as a young boy, I was naturally energetic and loud. My second grade teacher, however, did not see it that way. She told my mom about her hunch, suggesting that I get tested for ADD. My mother however, thought I was just being an overzealous kid. Yet, the bad reports continued. Many teachers said that I was “too loud, disruptive, hyper, etc.”. Finally, I was diagnosed with ADD in eighth grade.

In recent days I had the opportunity to go back to North Carolina for a few short days. There, with a heavy heart from a loss in the family, I had nothing else to look towards. I’ve always heard of individuals finding peace, faith, blessings, and love of Christ from attending church. I’ve never been a person who put their faith into a higher power. As I was growing up my parents never wanted to force me into any religion without me knowing everything about it and choosing which route to take on my own. As the years treaded on, I never bothered myself to learn about the many different religions and what each stands for. So I used this opportunity as mine to attend church for the very first time. I attended the Roman Catholic services held

Some may ask what it means to be a part of a specific culture. It may be believed that it merely means to share the same qualities of race, language, and social beliefs. What is not really known are the rise of expectations to fill, repressed wants and needs, or even the binding religious beliefs. A person must begin to recognize the holdings a culture may have on them and how it affects their free will as an individual.

A therapist can help construct a reality that incorporates the values and morals of religions and the idea of a less than perfect life. By embracing the narrative, the individual can reconcile the guilt felt by not completing the tenets perfectly and create a world view that highlights the goodness and strength of the person. The idea of perfectionism in religion and the constructs of guilt and shame hinder the individual and can create depression, anxiety and conflict in relationships. Ziola and Jose were clients that experienced internal conflict due to religious ideals they were unable to obtain. Enclosed is the story of their brief experience of therapy to address their

For all seventeen years of my life, I have grown up in a Christian home and attended a Seventh Day Adventist church and school. I believe that growing up in a Christian environment has provided me with the foundation of my spiritual life. I 've been taught fundamental aspects and ideas of Christianity and have studied most of the common stories and messages of the Bible. However, even though I am equipped with these study materials and spiritual strengths, I believe that my relationship with God is shaky and not as strong as it has the potential to be. Even though I can proudly acknowledge that there is a God, I often don 't feel His presence and sometimes doubt His existence. I always find myself questioning my spiritual life and relationship with God. If I 've grown up in a Christian environment all of my life, why do I not have a strong relationship with Him? Why is my faith so weak? I believe that the answers to these questions can be found by acknowledging my spiritual weaknesses and using my spiritual strengths to improve them. I believe that acting on some of my spiritual weaknesses, such as an insufficient amount of time devoted to God, unfocused time with spent with Him, and biblical unintelligence, can help me to improve my spiritual life and walk with God.

Although one’s culture is based on their experiences they have had, it is also based on values of family and education that help shape one’s opinion and view.

First, the religious culture that impacts me is being Lutheran. A value we have is going to church to pray, we are expected to participate and be kind and respectful to everyone joining us. I do this by going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, (confirmation), along with going to church choir too. I attend the services quietly, and always try to respect people´s space. Another value is our spiritual beliefs, we pray to

Obsessive compulsive disorder, also know as ODC, is a complex mental illness that involves repeating thoughts know as obsessions and repeating actions know as compulsions (Parks 8). OCD affects males and females of all types (Parks 8). According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately one-third of OCD cases in adults begin in the childhood stages (Chong and Hovanec 11). Scientists believe that OCD is related to a faulty brain circuitry that could possibly be hereditary (Parks 9). Theories based on more recent studies show that OCD is a biological brain defect (Sebastian 32). It affects the frontal lobes of the brain (Ken and Jacob 1). Many OCD symptoms have been recorded since the 15th century (Sebastian 21). By the 19th century, science had developed more and explained that OCD was a mental and emotional disorder instead of supernatural forces (Sebastian 29). OCD is two times more common of a disease than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (Ken and Jacob 1). There are three forms of OCD. The three forms are episodic, continuous, and deteriorative. Episodic OCD has recurring episodes of illness lasting for a limited time.

As I entered the home to conduct my interview, I was immediately greeted by very soft spoken female. She’s a 42 yrs old African American female, who’s married with two children. She migrated from the south 30 years ago along with her mother and sister. She’s currently working for the Department of Education as a substitute teacher with aspiration of becoming a child psychologist. The subject was eager to be interviewed. She thought it would be great to sure her views and perspectives of her culture. Culture is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as , the total of the inherited ideas, beliefs, values, and knowledge, which constitute the shared bases of social action. To me culture is rich and fascinating filled with family, traditions, memories, and many dialects.

Most people do not think their family has a culture. They associate culture with countries and ethnic groups. But the family for most people is just a group of family people who do what they always do. Directly and subtly, children are shaped by the family culture in which they are born. At the stage of growth, their assumptions about what is right or wrong, good and bad, reflect the beliefs, values, and traditions of the family culture. Most take their family manners for granted and bring into adulthood numerous attitudes and behaviors acquired in childhood. Even those who later reject all or part of the family culture often find that they are not totally free of their early influences. 1

However, I have been challenged throughout this faith journey. I was a child born out of wedlock, which meant that my parents never married when I was born. My parents never got along, which lead me to live with my mother during the weekdays and to live with my father during the weekends and the summer. However, as I headed to my freshmen year to high school, I felt that I could not be with my father, knowing our relationship would not work out. I spend with my mother and grandmother, which lead me to reaffirm my faith and to restore my relationship as he was diagnose with diabetes and had heart surgery. Soon, I made amends, trying to overcome the guilt of leaving him, even thinking about what would happen if he had died.

My mom once told me when I was young and ignorant, “Faith is the foundation of a beautiful friendship with the one person who will always remain by your side”. These words were expressed even more profoundly every Sunday in the echoing corridors of a small church by a priest I had yet to know or even care about. Preaching with his perplexing words in which I could only muster barely a fourth of my full attention span listening to. Thus, the term faith did not exactly resonate with me until many years later. My early years were filled with the teachings of the bible in Sunday school and later on as well in middle school during Friday night sessions. Unfortunately, my mom was an extremely strong enforcer of our faith for she was also raised Catholic from birth, but my dad on the other hand has a more scientific approach to how the world came to be. The years I spent in Sunday school blurred into an everlasting line of bleak nothingness just a ticking clock waiting till an end. Even today I do not remember anything that occurred within those taxing sixty minuets of constant bible studies it’s as though I lost the key to the inner workings of my childhood. Nonetheless, there have always been unbelievably great role models in my faith such as my mom, youth ministers, and friends who encourage me to be open to my faith. However, it’s always been my own restrictions that prevent me from furthering my relationship with God. So when my sister suffered her first severe