Personal Narrative-Theoretical Journal

I’m bound into a vicious cycle of obscurity so deep that the choice was luminous. I seem less than myself, but at the same time, I can feel relaxed- even self-righteous, believing that I, a mere mortal, am immanent within this existing plane… And, I ask, Why must we face reality and not become lost in the gray abyss of our mind when it returns to the dawn of darkness from whence it came? Truly, it is comforting there…

Growing up with a father in the military, you move around a lot more than you would like to. I was born just east of St. Louis in a city called Shiloh in Illinois. When I was two years old my dad got the assignment to move to Hawaii. We spent seven great years in Hawaii, we had one of the greatest churches I have ever been to name New Hope. New Hope was a lot like Olivet's atmosphere, the people were always friendly and there always something to keep someone busy. I used to dance at church, I did hip-hop and interpretive dance, but you could never tell that from the way I look now.

that she had a male, Igor Gentsaryuk, in custody for DUI near the 3700 block of

The darkness is slowly scaring me making me feel overwhelmed. I can’t see anything. I feel suffocated and musty with all these boxes stocked next to me and on top of me. I’ve been here for so long and I feel so hopeless and useless. Then suddenly a bright light shines on me and I finally feel free from this very comfortless home. I wish someone would open this lid on top of me so I can breath in fresh air. But here I am staying strong and just patiently waiting. Then suddenly, I am lifted, opened, and place on top of a flat surface. I feel so nervous. I am hearing human voices. My wish is granted. It is my time, and I am free!

These thoughts that haunt my mind; these horrible and wretched thoughts that break me apart one excruciating second at a time. The thoughts that make me weep at the fact that they are riotously true. The thoughts that make me cry myself to sleep. These thoughts that create the demons that live inside my head, unwilling destroying me, but keeping me alive for some more pain, but not enough to kill me, just to make me hold on a little longer. Making me wish we were dead. These are the thoughts that I feel constantly, every millisecond of every single day. The thoughts that leave me awake, wishing I could just go to sleep for just 1 minute, but it’s unbelievably impossible. At this point you, the reader

I lay back conjoined in pain with other bodies in a strange trance of celestial transcendence. I observe the sky with eyes shut as the internal northern lights throb to the beat of my heart. The rhythmic electric throngs of pain pain pulsates inside my flesh and bones like a patterned grammar that I can almost translate. I have decided to listen to the

I grew up in California where both of my parents were involved with gangs and drugs by the time they were in middle school. They grew up like this, getting involved with the wrong people, getting into fights for dumb reasons, even getting in trouble with the authorities. Of course, that was normal for them because they were surrounded by it through friends and family. They continued to live that life style even when they met each other at the ages of 18 and 23. They didn't like each other at first, but they eventually started dating. My mom ended up getting pregnant later that year and tried to take a break from all of it, but my dad didn't stop and that caused some tension and arguing between them.

You seemed as if you left out of your 4th block Spanish from those rusty gray doors on the side of our school building.

Let me introduce myself, I was born here in Utah but spent most of my life outside of the state. My early memories of living in Utah were good. I remember having birthday parties with my cousins and my extended family would all be there, we went to family events on holidays and felt close with my family. My family moved to North Dakota just after kindergarten, that being the place my dad decided to attend law school.

When I found out I was moving I was terrified. It was the year of 2009 and I was only eight years old. It was me, my mom, and my three older brothers. We were moving from a tiny town in Bastrop called Beekman all the way to Sterlington. Who knew this would have been the most terrifying and exciting moment of my life as an eight year old girl.

I had been employed in the spirit realm. This wasn’t just part time job that I happened to obtain the fry. The pay sucked and I’m sure the working conditions wouldn’t meet the typical standards. Now onto explain how this came to be.

Bbrriiinngg! The alarm clock rang as I woke up to see sunlight pouring in through my bedroom window the day had finally arrived the first day of school I spent so much time worrying over this one day I got out of bed got dressed and had breakfast I was very anxious about starting a new school in a new state as I shove the last bite of cereal into my mouth I started to worry what if nobody liked me how could I make it through the year I had to stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and start thinking about the below opportunities when my dad pulled up to the front of the school I felt like I had a million little butterflies fluttering in my stomach I got out of the car and walked to the big black metal doors shining in the sunlight

Her small green eyes glance up into her rearview mirror. The whites of her eyes have turned a pale red and the apparent vividness of them has grown dull due to hours of crying. The air is hot and musty from the small black car’s hours of sunbathing so the cold air blows steadily onto her tear stained face. Her eyelashes are stuck together and her dark hair is plastered to her head as if she had just came up for air in the water. She cranks up her music to drown out the shallow breaths escaping her weak body. Her mind persistently repeated one thing. “Why.”

Police sirens blare in the distance. They are close; too close for comfort, but Lexi has no choice; she has to walk home. Without a car, what was she to do? Call a cab? Ask a friend? Any option besides walking home was burdensome and she couldn’t be bothered with them, so she walked. She had just finished her shift at the Tap House, where she worked as a waitress. She was exhausted. All she wanted to do now was crawl into bed and go to sleep.

The pain and the struggles we go through are essential for us grow and mature. Dan experiences a life changing moment when “a light flickered in the darkness...” and he realizes “the process of real meditation- to expand awareness, to direct attention, to ultimately surrender to the light of consciousness” (Millman 97). In that moment of deep meditation, Dan’s body “becomes a radiant prism, throwing splinters of multicolored light everywhere. And it came to me that the highest purpose of the human body is to become a clear channel for this light-- so that its brightness can dissolve all obstructions, all knots, and all resistance” (Millman). Millman uses his light as a metaphor to represent awareness. During deep concentration, the light makes the contents of our minds visible, and we are able to now see all of the negative