Reflection Paper

The year is two thousand and seventeen, I am twenty-four and in disbelief while listening to the news station. My country, United States, and its citizens are upset and confused at one another. I think to myself with concern, “how did it get so bad?” the news continues to report in the background. I listen for a second, “requesting all white students to leave campus for a day, another campus is to host an all-black graduation, and several protests are happening violently on campuses all over the country...” I tune out again and begin to feel the weight in my heart. “How… “my thoughts start. “how can…” my mind tries again. I feel confused, shocked, concerned, and I feel betrayed. My eyebrows narrow and I squeeze my thought out, “How can we go back 60 years?” After all that has happened in our history, how can this country have segregation in our academics?

Going from 9th to 10th grade was a huge learning experience. At my school, Central High School, they had the 9th graders separated from the rest of the high schoolers. But that wasn’t my problem I had to go to a completely different school system, Russell County School system, they had all the grades combined. Russell County also wasn’t very known for a good curriculum. Central’s curriculum was more advanced than them. I learned how to transition from doing the minimum work needed to have to go above and beyond for my school work. High school I was able to learn many things, but the most important was learning to properly read and write.

During my eight grade in highschool, I was the archetype of a school nerd. My only focus was to study and exceed my teachers’ expectations at the expense of any other extracurricular activities. As many common top students, I thought I had to conform to the school rules; that is, excellence can only be achieved through maintaining good grades. I believed I did not have the power to challenge this common conception. Power can be observed in a large scale such as a whole nation, but it can also be seen in a more narrow scale as within each individual. I did not realize how much power I had until I challenged my own beliefs and went out of my comfort zone by joining my school soccer team.

Students thrive in environments in which they feel that multiple aspects of their identity are valued and honored. This feeling of importance is the foundation of what a culturally relevant space is and should be at the core of an educators pedagogy of care. Historically, this basic need of feeling valued by one’s community has been denied from culturally and linguistically diverse students in the realm of education. The wealth of experiences they bring with them into the classroom are often checked at the door like a winter coat and forgotten by their teachers. When their linguistic skills are brought up in academic spaces they are often depicted in a deficit model and linked to the challenges said students may be experiencing in the classroom. Teaching for social justice works to provide a counter narrative for diverse student populations and empowers them through the incorporation of their identities into academic curricula. Before enrolling in this course I was aware of the huge disservice done to diverse students through the implementation of Eurocentric curriculum that aims to educate them with a model that does not include their stories. However, I had not come up with a statement that expressed my beliefs and the ideas that my future classrooms would be founded upon. Creating an ideological stance forces educators to hold themselves accountable for critically thinking through their beliefs and consistently compare their practice to their theory. Through this system

Relationships have been a strength in my personal and professional life and my most recent re-assignment as a technology integrator and instructional coach has tested my relationship development and maintenance of trust particularly with more challenging individuals. Extra grace is required at times. This was profound rehearsal for dealing with potentially difficult parents and I continue to seek first to understand. One of the best examples I witnessed over this internship came from the new principal at Valley View. During the fall conference day he pulled his desk into the center hallway where parents would enter the building and manned the welcome table the entire day. Many of my primary teacher colleagues mentioned how many parents noted and appreciated the welcome. I have that in my back pocket as a definitive implementation when I become principal.

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

According to care.com, over two million children have a parent who have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. At the beginning of third grade, my father received a letter from the government stating that he would be deployed for almost a year in Iraq. Nine years later, it registers that this experience helped me grow in many ways. Not only does it prove out that what he did and what he went through made and continues to make such a large impact on me, but his being gone encouraged me to value the time I have together with people. Once you don’t have the opportunity to be it affects you in countless ways. Such a big event in my life showed me how much I rely on him as a father, a friend, and a teacher, but it also showed me that when things are difficult I am able to handle them independently.

Following the Asian Financial Crisis of 1997, the IMF bailout provided desperately needed funds to revive South Korea’s economy but came with a caveat of strict mandates. The aftermath left sectors of its economy eviscerated, patches of its society dissolved and sent my family on a plane to the United States. What could have been a typical American dream narrative, however, not only molded my character but also evolved into a lifelong aspiration in global affairs.

I always knew there was a God. That is something I never questioned. When I was little I was taught about the LDS church by my grandparents. My dad always taught me that the LDS church was not true. He would tell me things like “all mormons are going to hell” and he would tell me it was a church based on lies. At such a young age this was very confusing for me, but I have always been a daddy’s girl so of course at one point I started to wonder if my dad was right. I wasn't able to be baptized at 8 because my dad would not allow it. When I was in 4th grade my mom, my sister, and I moved out of my grandparents house and became inactive to the point where I had forgotten a lot of what I had learned from my grandparents and at church. We continued to be in active and would attend church maybe two or three times a year. The missionaries would come to our door occasionally, but my mom would always tell them that me and my sister are unable to be baptized because my dad won’t allow it and send them away.

When I was in the first grade, my learning disabilities started to shine through. I always thought my struggles rooted from my lack of effort and trying to get through the school day. One day, a teacher came into my classroom and asked for me. I walked with her to this empty, smelly, and plain white room. She started telling me that she was with the special ed department, had been tracking my progress, and that I had a learning disability that needed to be acknowledged. She started showing me proof that I was having troubles in math. She handed me a thick envelope and told me to take it home to my parents so they could go over it and sign it. Those papers changed the way I was able to learn and started to get me on track throughout the rest of my school years.

For most students in the public-school system, seeing a private school classroom with under fifteen students in the classroom would be an uncommon sight to them: Since most public-school classes hold up to twenty-five students to one teacher. Although this close interaction between student and teacher greatly shaped me as well as my reading and writing skills today, it did not come without drawbacks when I transferred to a public school for the first time. Highschool was the first time that I attended public school. This is when I discovered just how much personal accountability it would take to stay on top of all the essays and Shakespeare worksheets not to mention the other three teachers that expected I complete their assigned homework

This school year had many concepts for me to learn. I had many ups, and some lows. I believe it will be very hard to top this year off. I had three ways I have improved throughout this year. Here they are.

Going to church and watching people become baptized, and giving their lives to God, reminds me of why I am saved, and in church. My brother is my hero because he is the reason why I am in church today. If it weren’t for my brother a few years ago getting into a youth group, then I wouldn’t be who I am today, or where I am today. I am thankful that my brother pushed me to go to church because it made me a better person than who I was. I remember watching my brother getting baptized, every time I watch someone get saved or baptized.

Life is difficult because certain barriers are always presented to us as a test of strength and stability. As a child living in Mexico while having a low family income very much affects the life of any adult child or teenager. For me, the experience was life altering up to the point in which I had to wake up at five o’clock in the morning to begin picking up tin cans on the streets with my father while my mother and sisters were at home. This type of experience in life would make anyone feel a bit depressed by I looked on the bright side and I learned a very important lesson. You don't value what you have until you lose it. When we moved to Mexico we lost everything our house, our furniture, and our lives basically. Eventually, the school

A friend, who I had once argued with beforehand, said to me, “Whatever happens, will happen, in the case, that is just the way life goes.” Even though I felt as if I should thrive by his saying, I could not, not now, and not anymore. It was rainy today, skies were gray, and the atmosphere was foggy. Although I never notice the weather, I did, especially today, as I drive alone to school in the comfort of my warm car. The road was empty, and so, my mind distracted itself towards my dashboard. There lay my license, which I had received a month after my friend’s passing. Under that smile was the grief and nonacceptance of the past occurrence which had taken his life over the year before. Today was the day, today had been the year anniversary since his tragic death. Looking back on the road, I could not help let a tear fall from my eye, which then led to an overflow of tears. After all this time, I thought I was okay, that I finally gained that acceptance, I guess I had not.