The Link between Personality and Order of Birth
By Cathryn Carlisle
Two siblings raised in the same home with the same parents will each have different environments that they grow up in that helps mold what personality traits they each will have. The order in which they are born also affects their traits. It affects their personalities and they take on roles in the family depending on how big the family is. The most commonly recognized personalities are: first-born, middle child, last-born, and only child. There are also variances in personalities for children that are adopted, born after the previous child has died or the mother miscarried, and step-child. The first child is always know as the leader, second the rebellious one, the last
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Why is it that we always hear this? Is it more than just a wives tail?
When a couple has their first child, he or she, they experiment with their first born. The couple is new to child rearing and has little knowledge of what works and what doesn’t, and they will go through a lot of trial and error while raising their first-born. Some parents go by the book and are extremely attentive and over protective of their first-born. This creates an environment where the child is the center of attention, rules are strict, and every detail is planned. First-borns have a lot of responsibility put on their shoulders early in their lives. They unknowingly take on a leadership role when it comes to sticking to the rules and watching over the other kids. Their parents often use them as an extra pair of hands or eyes when it comes to caring for the younger children. Something as simple as “Go fetch your brother for me” or “Make sure your sister doesn’t eat the sand” first-borns take favors like this seriously and with pride and it puts then in an authoritive role which is why many people always view the eldest as responsible and mature. They also learn they are an example to their sibling/s and often first-born’s consequences for misbehaving are often higher than that of the other children. This is how most families function and due to first-born’s mature attitude parents allow them to fall into this role without realizing it and are thankful for the help
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Going from one child to two is difficult. However they are also more knowledgeable about what works and what does not due to having practiced many different theories on the eldest child. Middle children know for a period of time what it’s like to be the youngest and it’s hard for them to figure out what their new role is in the family once the youngest comes along. They go from having half of the parent’s attention to getting one-third if the parents are able to give each child attention equally. Middle children, due to feeling out of place, often act out in attempts to get more attention. They are not the eldest so they don’t have as much freedom but they are also no longer the youngest and now have expectations and more responsibilities. Last-borns or “The baby” of the family never have to worry about
Each child has his or her own personality. Typically the firstborn is a natural leader, while the last is always the baby, but what about the overlooked middle child? The middle child can sometimes feel lost in the crowd when it comes to family dynamics. They crave their parent’s attention and are willing to do anything to believe they have it, but immediately close up when it comes to conflict, they become people pleasers. They will do anything to make their parents, or others, happy. This makes the middle child a skilled peacemaker and negotiator (Varma, 2013). They are amazing listeners because of the fact they hate conflict,
In the texts “That That Elusive Birth Order and What it Means for You,” and “How Birth Order Affects Your Personality,” the authors give their interpretation on the importance of birth order in siblings. The author of the first text, Susan Whitbourne, stresses the unimportance of birth order. Conversely, Joshua Hartshorne, the author of the second text, says that birth order is significant to personality, but there just has not been enough evidence until recent studies.
Whitbourne explains the stereotypes surrounding sibling roles, such as the first-born is most likely to take on the leadership position, and tend to “stick to rules and order, and strive toward achievement
According to Alfred Adler, the birth order of the children in a family will largely affect how they age and the personalities which they will form. First borns enter the family as the only child. They revel in the love and full attention from their parents, that is, until the second baby comes along. Suddenly, first borns are dethroned and lose the undivided attention they are used to receiving. As a result, they tend to develop a strong sense of responsibility and protectiveness over their siblings at an early age, which often leads to them becoming authoritative adults. Moreover, when there are multiple children in the family, parents will set high
This can first be seen with the oldest (first born) child where they seem to be more cautious and in need of help. The first born child in most cases is smothered by the mother and father and is protected from anything dangerous for the parents have no experience on what to let their child do. The parents always seem to be worrying when any imperfections arise like sickness or a dangerous situation. This rubs off on to the child making them very cautious of their surroundings and their actions. On top of caution towards the infant the mom and dad help the baby with everything, and are by the child’s side at all times. In doing so the parents are stopping the child from growing up to be not be independent and always need assistance or guidance
I am a middle child. I am not the assertive, naturally confident first-born, nor am I an attention-seeking youngest child; I am the quiet, quintessential middle child. For the first 16 years of my life, I was always an afterthought to the craziness of my two sisters, and I loved it‒ it made me independent and self-reliant. I have always been very comfortable being the easy-going child, happily accepting anything that comes my way. Never have I felt that my parents loved me any less; they merely had to worry less about me than they did my siblings, with their stubbornness and constant desire for affirmation. I easily slid under the radar, preferring to mind my own business and handle problems on my own. There was never anything wrong with my
Sibling rivalry is not the only issue that was triggered by birth order, child’s personality and his or her intelligence is also involved. Some researchers say that first-borns are smarter because they are pressured to set-up the boundary for the younger siblings. They are more enthusiastic in their education for them to be role models of their other siblings. As for the younger ones, life may be or may not be easy, depending on how they will view it. They may view it positively by keeping in mind that since their older sibling get through it, they also can. Otherwise,
Younger children are used to getting what they want as children and grow up knowing the ability to charm and manipulate others to their advantage. They also generally less uptight and more carefree since the family rules are usually loosened by the time of their arrival. Parents are already confident in their role as caregiver, and therefore are more lenient (Gross, 2014). They excuse behaviour that was deemed unacceptable for the older children since the parents have already dealt with such situations in the past and are not as stern with younger children. However, younger children may feel neglected by their older siblings and may feel inadequate in comparison to the older siblings’ achievements. Youngest children can also be bullied by older siblings. Furthermore, since parents are less restrictive over younger children, they may be misguided and more reckless than their older siblings who may have had to play it safe. These children can then grow up to be irresponsible and lack direction and the ability to prioritize in their lives. This can lead to mental confusion, emotional instability and depressive symptoms. It may result in a dependence on harmful addictive substances to turn to as an outlet. Likewise, younger siblings are also more prone to addiction, according to Medical Daily, and take up smoking and drinking more frequently than older siblings
| * Smiles of delight when they are playing with their primary carers * Arms lifting up to show a parent they want to be picked up
First born children who later have younger siblings may have it the worst. These children are given excessive attention and pampering by their parents until that fateful day when the little brother or sister arrives. Suddenly they are no longer the center of attention and fall into the shadows wondering why everything changed. They are left feeling inferior, questioning their importance in the family, and trying desperately to gain back the attention they suddenly lost. The first born child can become “problem children, neurotics, criminals, drunkards, and perverts” (Cloninger, 2008). However, on the flip side, the first born usually are the peacemakers of the family even though they are a pampered and spoiled child.
I think being the oldest it the best. I say this because well I am the oldest but not only that its almost as if you’re on a higher pedestal than the other siblings. As it states in the article “ Being right, controlling often important,” that totally describes the relation of being the oldest. I like to be the caregiver most of the time and would do anything to help others. It almost a “motherly” instinct kicks in. It says in the article Birth Order that the youngest child expects others to do things, make decisions, and take responsibility. That goes for in our house, my little brother Casey acts as if he were helpless and relies on others for things. He is very capable of doing things but he doesn’t think he has to since he is “The Baby”
The oldest child plays an inimitable role in the structure of her family. She has a propensity to be confident and often craves her independence at an early age. She sets the standard for her younger siblings and realizes that her actions are observed closely by impressionable eyes. This accountability often instills in her a drive to act in a respectable and responsible manner. As the oldest child in a family of eight, I have been persistent in regarding these characteristics and have enabled them to shape my identity.
As the mother and father of these children were in a two vs two situation with the kids, this all changes with the addition of the newest child making it a three vs two situation. When this occurs each child gets less and less time with their parents affecting the youngest the most, since he/she never got to be smothered by their parents in the first place. As the youngest grows up they appear to be more independent than any of the other siblings. This is a huge factor in their personality for they make their own decision on what they will do instead of waiting for advice or approval from someone else. The effect of their independence on their personality shows in their wild side for their caution towards dangerous activities is almost gone compared to their other siblings. Besides the fact that they are just wild and independent they seem to focus more on the finer things in life, rather than just school and education. The parents now still want their child to do very well but have a better understanding on the difficulty of school and are less strict towards the youngest child. Rather they are more understanding and thoughtful on the situation. This influences the child’s personality and makes them focus less on school, but more on all the other extracurricular and out of school activities. This corresponds with their independence for they work better independently and and are poor at being instructed, much different than all of their siblings. For their future they usually become a creator of a business or company and love to always be doing hands on work, rather than calculations and imputing
Furthermore, the last child born will also end up having different personality traits than the first and second born. "This child is picked on by the second born" (Isaacson 3). It occurs because the older child is "trying to pass on the feeling of inadequacy" (Isaacson 3). This can cause the youngest child to become rather rebellious (Isaacson 4). It just goes to show that each child will turn out different because of when they are born in the family. The child will get a different view on things if they are born first, second, or last.
Many of the television shows that we have come to know and love include a family with a few siblings. Most of the time, they show the complex relationship that the siblings have. The oldest child is usually the most responsible, while the youngest may be outgoing, but feel inferior to their older siblings. The middle child many times feels sandwiched and takes on the roles of both the first and the last child. This is because the order in which an individual is born into a family has a large impact on his or her social and mental development. Alfred Adler was the man who introduced the world to the study of birth order. His research said that the order in which a child is born has a major impact on their development. The focus was not on the