preview

Sample Thesis Statement

Decent Essays

Rewrite your thesis statement from your Illustration final draft. Explain what you believe this sentence illustrates the reader should expect from your paper. What do you think your strongest example is from your paper, and why is it a good illustration supporting your thesis? What do you think is your weakest example from your paper, and how do you believe you could strengthen/change it to better support your thesis? What are the three strongest transitions you consciously used within your paper? What specific information does each transition provide to the reader? If you could re-write your paper at this point, what would you do differently? Discuss three different ways your paper changed between your first and final draft. Dangerous technology included the Samsung Galaxy S5, the Samsung Galaxy S7, and the Samsung Galaxy Note 7. The reader should expect that the examples were in the order, where the examples would be talked about. …show more content…

As a result provides the reader details about the Samsung Galaxy device costing Samsung billions of dollars (5). For instance, provides the reader to imagine buying a six-hundred-dollar phone, and later realized that it was an explosive phone (3). A perfect example makes the reader aware that it is the first example in the paper, and that it is a personal example (2). I would give more examples of the different types of dangerous devices because I only described Samsung Galaxy devices. I would only give one Samsung example, and I would give an example about the iPhone. I did not capture the reader’s attention because I did not give a variety of examples. The three ways I edited my paper to improve it between the first draft and the final draft. First, I changed my paper from present tense to past tense. Next, I removed a sentence in paragraph four because it was similar to another sentence. Then I added transitions at the beginning of the

Get Access