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Self Narrative Analysis

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Being part Italian comes with a few stereotypical ideas including: you most likely talk with your hands, are very affectionate, and animated. These stereotypes are true and very apparent in my style of intimacy and emotional expression. I have grown up in a very loving, nurturing and affectionate environment where hearing the words “I love you,” are the norm. In my family we hug and kiss each other on the cheeks both when greeting and/or saying good-bye to each other. My Nonna is also known to pinch those same cheeks or at times give an affectionate pinch on the rumpus. I thought all families were similar in how they expressed their love and affection for each other until I started hanging out with friends at their homes and boy was I …show more content…

Neuhaus (2017) states, “our stories/narrative helps us to organize our experiences so they make sense.” For this paper the self-narrative is used to explain our story of how we interact with our romantic or close interpersonal relationships. The ability to do this is not something I have always had but rather something I have learned over time with the help of therapist and determination to learn to become a better communicator and more differentiated self. Being a middle child I found myself in the role of the “pleaser,” the child who was easy-going, did not cause any conflict, was quiet and shy and did not demand much attention from parents but would receive some attention by doing something that pleased my parents. This role continued through high school and into my marriage where I thought it was my fault if my husband was upset or mad about something. I also married young having never gotten the chance to go on to college nor learn to differentiate as an adult. I went from one close knit family into another without learning to be on my own or to rely on myself. This caused a little bit of emotional fusion in my relationship with my husband because I needed him to replace the role that my parents filled in our relationship. After counseling I learned that I did not need to take on my husband’s negative attitudes as my own and it was okay for me to be happy when he was upset or angry. A technique taught to me by one of the counselors included hula-hoops. I and the counselor would stand inside our own hula-hoop to better illustrate that the space we inhabited as a metaphor for our personal space, life and emotions. When my counselor invaded my personal space with his hula-hoop I learned that this was my personal space therefore I had control and the power to dictate whether or not another person was allowed to do so. With that in mind it was also within my power to decide if I

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