Short Story

I thought I was home in bed when I awoke to the sound of a phone ringing. Tucker could be heard whispering to the guy next to me to get some rest. “Get the phone!” I yelled. A moment later he picked it up. “Receiving. Tucker here.” “Oh, hi, good of you to call. Yes, he’s still here. You want to speak to him? Sure, hold on.” Tucker nudged me in the arm to signal he was handing me the phone. “Take a message and hold all my calls. I don’t want to talk with anyone right now,” I said. “But it’s God and he wants to have a word with you.” “Tell him I’m in a meeting right now, try back later.” “It’s the Father. He wants to talk to you.” “I don’t believe this shit! I held out my hand and Tucker placed the phone in it…Hello!” “Hi, Buddy, …show more content…

One thing at a time. Are you ready?” God spoke a few words in a language I’d never heard before and then asked me, “How’s your head now?” I felt around with my free hand. “Well, it still hurts…but, hey…the gash is gone. How’d you do that?” “Ancient Chinese secret,” he said with a laugh. “But it still hurts,” I complained, telling him that if he really was who he said he was, I wouldn’t be feeling any pain whatsoever. “It does? Let me try something else.” It sounded as if he pounded the handset of the phone against a hard surface a few times and then asked, “Is that any better?” I paused several seconds to be sure. “I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed. “There’s no pain whatsoever, and it’s not numb, either. You’re pretty good. What did you say your name was?” “It’s God, damn it,” he said, cracking up. I had to stop and think. This could very well be God, but something isn’t right here, so I asked him, “Have you been drinking?” “Of course!” he said proudly. “What else would you expect me to be doing?” “I don’t know. Looking after the world, perhaps?” “Actually, there’s going to be a big party tonight,” he said. “A bunch of the guys stopped by to help get things set up. You need to be there.” “Really?” Then I explained to him that if he would be so kind as to fix my eyes so I could see again, I’d probably drop in for a few minutes. “Oh, that’s right,” he said. “I totally forgot about…just a second.” God yelled out as if talking to the crowd, “Anyone