So What Do You Feel?

“All children, at the core of their beings, need to be attached to someone who considers them to be very special and who is committed to providing for their ongoing care.” In this very first sentence Daniel Hughes expresses the importance of attachment in children in order for them to live rich and fulfilling lives. He outlines the issues surrounding the poorly attached child (particularly foster and adopted children) and shows how it is possible, using specific therapeutic interventions, to help them to “heal and grow”.

“I never felt like that before. Maybe it could be depression, like you get. I can understand how you suffer now when you're depressed; I always thought you liked it and I thought you could have snapped yourself out any time, if not alone then by means of the mood organ. But when you get that depressed you don't care. Apathy, because you've lost a sense of worth. It doesn't matter whether you feel better because you have no

While reading Dr. Bruce Perry’s The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, I found the case of Peter to be the most interesting. At the age of three Peter was rescued from the inhumane conditions of a Russian “baby warehouse” in which one caretaker was responsible for the wellbeing of thirty wailing newborns (Perry and Szalavitz 218). This less than ideal solution for the issue of finding appropriate childcare left Peter and hundreds of other infants deprived of human interaction. During such a crucial period of brain development, this lack of attention had serious repercussions. Luckily, Peter was adopted by extremely devoted American parents who would help pave

In the moment, my abilities never faltered. I kind of like that about myself. I may worry, but when it comes down to it, I’m pretty persevering. Despite this, I harbored mixed feelings about singing again.

Even in the most successful foster care situations, children will still experience a sense of loss,

Some individuals, however, did opt to share their experiences in the foster care system and lives post foster care system in the exhibit “Aging Out: The Lives of Former Foster Kids.” The exhibit, which was on display at the Long Island Children’s Museum, showed in photographs and a display of a black duffle bag what life is like for those in foster care and after foster care. The duffle bag showed the symbolism of the “get the ready bag,” which housed the essentials for those in foster care, such as a toothbrush, identification, and personal items, who could be moved at any moment (Khan, n.d.). The photographs showed more insight of their lives after leaving the foster care system, with their own stories of either aging out to a family, or aging out to absolutely no one, nowhere, and

The other side may argue that children require love and care which abandonment takes away; However, abandoned children receive that love and care from others who step up in their parents’ place. This happens because the Atlantic finds that “the best and only sure remedy has been the willingness of responsible, loving foster parents to open their arms and homes to [abandoned] children” (Atlantic). These foster parents provide the love and necessities for children as they effectively become the children’s parents. Not only do these foster parents help stop the effects of abandonment, but these parents also care for the children as their own, giving those children the same, or better, childhood any child would get. Abandonment never leaves children with nowhere to go, as people, as well as society, volunteer to care for those children. This care allows children to develop into adults with no negative effects of abandonment, allowing them to live fulfilling lives in the long term. Furthermore, foster care helps children make bonds with others because foster children must interact with other adults and children during their childhood. Because of this Nelson argues that “the children placed in foster care displayed dramatic improvements in making emotional attachments” (Source E). In foster care, abandoned children form connections with their parents and other children. As children learn to interact with others, they form the bonds that allow for both a prosperous childhood and adulthood. From these bonds, the children learn vital social skill and make relationships that can last for their entire lives. With these connections, abandoned children grow into outstanding adults who live their lives to the fullest. Thus, foster care allows abandoned

Children in foster care face multiple obstacles to their healthy development, including poor physical health, attachment disorders, compromised brain functioning, inadequate social skills, and mental health difficulties. Even in the most successful foster care placements, children will experience a sense of loss associated with unfamiliar home surroundings, a disruption in daily routines, and loss of personal belongings, pets, and family members. How a child experiences loss depends on many factors, including the child's developmental level, the significance of the people separated, whether the separation is temporary or permanent, and the degree of familiarity of the new surroundings.

Previously unnoted, abandonment and the resulting loneliness in children have lasting impacts on adult life. As abandonment becomes increasingly more common, studies place emphasis on such impacts. Dr. Frankenstein’s monster is essentially a newborn baby when created. Caregivers teach infants to seek comfort,

If an infant is surrounded by neglect, he or she may experience lasting damage as a result of the lack of affection and care. Infants need an adequate amount of care, affection, attention and intellectual stimulation to develop properly. The caregiver’s level of involvement in a child’s life not only influences the child’s psychological development but can also affect the child’s biological development (Belsky, 2008). If an infant is not properly stimulated for an extended period, he or she may experience difficulty developing sensations, motor skills, and perceptions, at a proper level. Just as an adult cannot learn something new without being taught, the same important principle also applies to infancy and early childhood development.

I never sang too loud so if I messed up, no one would hear it .After every class I would go up to my Choir or band director with about five questions. But it simply was not enough. So my sophomore year I was given vocal lessons that taught me that I can match pitch consistently , and that my range was bigger than I ever thought it could be. I discovered a talent that I loved and I intended to perfect it .I performed in multiple cabarets and had the opportunity to sing with my choir at the Carnegie music hall. I was finally getting the swing of music; but that was not enough due to my obstinacy. I wanted to learn

At twenty one years old, while others my age explored life, I was examining mine. Sue, assisting me in the process, was my co-pilot covering as the therapist and played the part well because she represented everything you 'd imagine a therapist to be: the soft voice becoming stern if need be, the sympathetic look yet retaining an air of detachment and the clothes: pastel colours, beads, turtle neck. However, the therapy itself was not exclusive to self-exploration, I was there to sing but not to Sue; this wasn’t drama therapy. The dominant reason I initiated therapy was to free up the unconscious repressions I believed or was convinced were holding my voice back. In relation to the repressions, there could have been a few reasons but it was why Sue got paid; her job was to locate and release my repressions because my job was to make music.

When infants are born, they naturally form strong attachments to their primary caregivers (May, 2005). Bion 's container/contained theory stipulates that when an infant is distressed, they project their negative feelings onto their caregiver, who contains the

In many cases of neglect, there has been an association with the brain failing to form appropriately. This causes impaired physical, mental, and emotional development (DePanfilis, 2006). A child's brain learns to adapt to a less than positive environment and this stunts the process of normal development. The brains of neglected children are not integrated and this causes difficulties in emotional, social, and cognitive development. The sensitive period, during the first two years of life, is a critical time in which brain activity faces severe psychosocial deprivation if faced with neglect and is unlikely to be recovered (Vanderwert, Marshall, Nelson III, Zeanah & Fox, 2010).

      As I lift my head up and open my mouth, my voice escalates with every tune that comes out. The soothing words bounce off of my tongue and release the tension held within. Even if the sounds aren’t perfect or correct, every little bit helps me get through the day. When stressed, nothing helps me more than singing. My passion for singing comes from deep within my soul, mind and heart. When I sing, I sing with all of me, putting everything I can into it. I have always had a great passion for singing, ever since I was young. Although I am shy and still get nervous and shaky in front of others, in my own time, singing is my cigarette, my alcoholic drink, my escape from all the anger and the pain.