The Kansas City Royals Finished Dead Last

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The 2005 Kansas City Royals finished dead last in the ALC, winning less than 35% of their games that season. Due to the Royals less than stellar season, diehard KC baseball fans were forced to seek out other local teams to get their baseball fix. Much like the Royals at the time, my elementary coach-pitch softball games were not the place for such fans. “Alright, Purple Jelly Beans,” Coach Tucker calls, “Let’s line up in front of the dugout so I can take attendance.” A herd of anxious, 3rd grade ankle-biters file out from behind the chain-link fence, and onto to the gravel pellet field. “Please say ‘here’ when I call your name. Alexis?” “Here.” “Sarah?” “Here.” “Camille?” “Here.” Coach Tucker continues down the list calling Hannah, Emily, Sarai, Kristi, Elizabeth, and Katie. All of us replying present, until Coach reached the last name on the list, “Caleb?” No reply. “Is Caleb here?” Hiding at the end of the line Caleb begrudgingly calls ‘here’. “Oh. There you are Caleb,” Coach says as he quickly realizes the problem. “Yeah, I’m here. But do I really have to stay on this team? I’m the only boy!” Caleb whined. “Um, well. . .” he pauses to think. “Hold on. I’m going to talk to the other coach to see if we could to a little swap.” “Oh good,” Caleb says with a sigh of relief. “I don’t think I could play on a team with a bunch of cootie-infested girls.” Coach jogs back from the opposing dugout, “Alright, Caleb, you’re now a member of the Orange Crush, and Lydia is a part of the

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