The Shame Of A Shame Based Culture

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Brene Brown said this,“We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.”

I love the power in this quote of comparing how we love and accept people when we are unashamed, versus when we are ashamed and feeling unworthy. The problem with living in a shame-based culture is it becomes increasingly normal, and therefore how shame affects our identity has gone unrecognized and undefined in most of our lives. This is how Brene explains shame, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Women often experience shame when they are entangled in a web of layered, conflicting and competing social-community expectations. Shame leaves women feeling trapped, powerless and isolated.”

We are not alone in feeling unworthy. Shame causes us to feel unlovable and damaged, yet Christ is in the business of restoring dignity back to the human soul. You are not shaped by shame, you are defined by God. A Christ-based identity gives us the grace to like ourselves. Moreover, the grace of our God-given identity helps us not to despise or loathe our
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