A professional deception detector, and author, Pamela Meyer points out the fact that, “ Lying is complex. It 's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We 're deeply ambivalent about the truth…. It 's as old as breathing. It 's part of our culture, it 's part of our history. Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World”, in a TED Talk in which she details certain clues about how to
In the essay The Ways We Lie, author Stephanie Ericsson writes in depth about the different types of lies used by most people everyday. While listing examples of them, Ericsson questions her own experiences with lying and whether or not it was appropriate. By using hypothetical situations, true accounts, and personal occurrences, she highlights the moral conflicts and consequences that are a result of harmless fibs or impactful deceptions. In an essay detailing the lies told to ourselves and others, Ericsson points out one bold truth; everyone lies. Through her writing, Ericsson causes the reader to look into how they’ve lied in the past and how to effects others and the general greater good of society.
Lying is a common habit that everyone has had experiences with. I have lied and have been lied to numerous times. Everyone has. However, not everyone exposed to a certain lie is aware of it’s true power. In her essay “The Ways We Lie”, Stephanie Ericsson criticizes our bad habit of lying. She explains many different types of lies and even gives examples to show how harmful they can be as “our acceptance of lies becomes a cultural cancer that eventually shrouds and reorders reality until moral garbage becomes invisible to us as water is to a fish” (128).
A lie is considered a false statement given to fool someone. At some point throughout the day everyone will stretch the truth. Are lies just really some version of the truth or are they bold and deliberate? Lying is discussed in-depth in "The Ways We Lie" by Stephanie Ericsson and in the article "Is Lying Bad for Us" by Richard Gunderman. The two articles discuss the types of lies, reasons people lie and the consequences suffered by all. It can be determined after reading the texts that lying causes undue stress and telling the truth is beneficial in more ways than one.
About 60% of adults can't have a ten minute conversation without lying at least once. In the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon, a character named Christopher Boone has showed me the ideas of lies. In the story, Christopher suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a disorder that 68 million people have. This disability makes it harder for Christopher to talk, makes his coordination poorer, both of which might lead to depression. I found that Christopher is lied to on multiple occasions in the book, mostly by people who are closest to him. These lies were usually made for good intentions, fixing broken trust, or to cover up mistakes made.
In Stephanie Ericsson's essay, "The Ways We Lie," (1992), the author explains that a person can lie without even knowing they are doing so simply because it is part of the human nature. Ericsson uses personal life situations, such as: lying to the bank about a check being in the mail, lying about the reason why she was late to a business meeting, and telling a friend she was busy and could not go eat with her. Her main purpose is to explain the different types of lies told daily by most people in order to illustrate that although we may not realize we are lying, technically we are and sometimes it could be for the good of the person or for the worse. Ericsson relates to his target audience, everyone, by stating everyone lies one way or another,
Once people know that a person habitually lies, they do not take that person as seriously. Being honest demonstrates self-respect and respect for others. Honesty is appealing and engaging to others. Honesty also sets a good example for people who look up to that person. People will become closer and have faith in an authentic person. An honest person invites authentic and real friendships. Imagine if a friend overhears a lie told by another peer, it is possible that it could damage the relationship. It can be difficult to regain their trust once they are aware of the regular lying. People frequently tell lies to bypass sharing truths that feel uncomfortable or awkward. Lying should be avoided because it is important to share true judgment and care for others. Lying typically ruins relationships whether they are personal or work-related. It is clear that lying creates skepticism and disbelief. Most people will stop asking liars for advice on personal issues because they know they will not get truthful information. Friendships are often broken because of lies that get too big to keep lying about. Lying hides who people really are. People should try to keep a clean slate by staying honest, especially when there are consequences. Lying gets rid of credibility, yet people seem to lie more
As a person grows up and realizes what is right and what is wrong it's introduced to lies. Lies can be used to spare someone's feelings, hide something or avoid a punishment, in time men began to wonder how and why we lie. These men came up with two out of many theories about lies, interpersonal deception theory, and information manipulation theory, and although these theories are both about lies they differ in the way the sender (or the liar) sends its message.
"Current theoretical approaches to deception are lacking and new theoretical directions are needed to understand deception communication and its detection" (Levine & Kim, 2009). Levine and Kim have valid concerns when they stress the necessity of more research into the manner, methods, motivations and contexts that most deception occurs in, as it's a somewhat clumsily and shoddily understood subject.
The theory describes how deception involves manipulation of information in multiple forms and how it’s “a contextual problem-solving activity driven by the desire for quick, efficient, and viable communicative solutions” (McCornack et al, 2014). Also, that 4 conversational maxims exist and when one of those maxims are broken, deception occurs. The 4 maxims as defined by McCornack et al: “Quantity (the amount of relevant information that is shared), Quality (the veracity of shared information), Manner (the way in which disclosed information is expressed), and Relation (the relevance of disclosed information)” (McCornack et al, 2014). Deception can be done on purpose or unconsciously and can be anything from white-lies, big lies, or stating something that is not true. Most people who are lying know that they are lying and the same goes for stating something that is not true, but this type of deception can be a bit trickier because it’s where the unconscious tends to come into play. An example of Obvious deception could be, I state “Eating dirt has the same nutritional value as a milkshake.” Unconscious deception could be something such as this two people talking. For example, Person A is stressed about exams and Person B asks them “what’s wrong” to which Person A replies “I’m fine/tired/nothing. Person A’s response can be attributed to a
To lie by omission is another way some people choose to tell a lie. To lie by omission means to intentionally omit a vital piece or pieces of information leaving the other person with a misconception. For instance, a wife asks her husband if he were at the night club, the husband tells his wife that he is working late, which is true, however, he omit’s the fact that he also visited the night club. Lying by omission undermines the truth. It is often used to manipulate someone into altering their behavior to suit the desire of the deceiver. The lie is not the words or lack of words; the omission is the intention of the deceiver. Lying by omission includes failures to correct pre- existing misconceptions.