Until I Was Dying, I Was Not Living. This May Sound Paradoxical

That was who I was. That was what I was known for, and there was no changing it. That’s why when my mom told me that we were moving to Louisiana, I was thrilled. It was my one chance to alter my identity, not to mention start fresh. I could finally fit in with everyone else and be normal. Because of the move, I’ve landed in the position I’m in now. Out of all the students I could’ve associated myself with, I decided to sit at a table with the ‘rebellious’ kids. I knew in my gut that it was a bad decision, but what other choice did I have? My broken and insecure self had to sit with people who I knew would be considered cool. I was a cloudy sky on a rainy day, and it was time for my sun to come

I see high school as a new opportunity to start over and represent myself as a different person. During elementary school, I wished to escape from the shy, quiet personality I was bound to, in hopes that I could be free and show myself as someone new in a different school. I remember when I was in fifth grade, I was lonely, and disliked many people who I met. It seemed as if I didn’t fit in; all of the stereotypes I arranged others into were groups I never cared for. As elementary school finally ended, sixth grade came. I knew that whenever I left sixth grade, I would never be the same again. It was at that school where I picked up the hobby that would change my life forever.

From a young age, I was never one to be shy. I believed that everyone was my friend and since then I have come to understand that I build a relationship with most everyone. You could say that people are my forte. What I lack, can always be countered by my connection with people. Throughout my lifetime, I have met many individuals with no two alike through volunteering, being a part of groups and working. These differences, whether it be race, gender, culture, beliefs or experiences, have given me opportunities develop a person. My philosophy is that the best way to acquire new information is to be open to others beliefs, opinions, ideas and knowledge. It is through the exchange of these that you can learn and grow as an individual.

As a little boy I grew up in a loving home. I went to an extremely small private Christian school that taught me everything I needed to know to be successful in life, except for one thing; how to get out of my comfort zone. I wouldn’t say I was shy as a child, but I never took risks to meet new people unless they took the initiative.

I was also a very shy person in school, so I did not try to socialize outside of my friend group. I was very content to stay within those friends, which is now something I wish I could change. I am not sure how much I could change my current bias if I had been more outgoing, but

I am a very introverted person, I don’t like being in front of crowds or talking to new people. As a child I was the complete opposite, I was extroverted and loved being the center of attention. Unfortunately this only lasted until I was about seven years old. After that something snapped and I became unable to talk or do anything in front of other people.

Like Charlie, I began my freshman year in high school as an outsider. I was considered a nerd who knew nothing except getting Straight-As. Being teachers’ favorite soon led to jealousy and my classmates began taunting me for my lack of social skills and aloofness.

My first six years of school, I breezed through my classes. Everything was easy for me, and everything was boring. I stood out among my classmates, and I hated it. It seemed as though everyone saw me as a human calculator or dictionary, fundamentally different from them. I learned to make myself smaller, to not raise my hand in class so I wouldn’t be seen as a stuck-up ‘know-it-all.’ I struggled to define my identity, uncomfortable with the ‘smart girl’ label that was assigned to me.

High school was such an amazing experience for me; and, I flourished in my talents and made many friends. However, when High School ended, the cliches were over and the friendships I had formed wilted away. I struggled to find a place for myself. Eventually, I found a group that I thought would be good for me. I continued to believe that even as I drank almost everyday to be a part

As a high school student struggling to cope with the demands and commitments that life sets on me, it is often easy to lose the essence of “the me.” With the pressure of school, family and friends, and extracurriculars, I often neglect my hobbies, interests, and getting to know “the me.” Looking back at freshman year, my life was a cityscape, active and vibrant. I was just another typical high school student conquering life’s challenges. With pride, I reached certain goals that I believed made me the “perfect” student: Red Cross: check, debate team: check, action team: check, peer transitions: check, Big Brother Big Sister: check, honor societies: check. Was I forgetting anything? Who needs friends, downtime, sleep and food? It turns out that

Being in activities that encompass many different personalities and many different groups of people has allowed me to come into contact with people who I would have never otherwise met. I have found that people who share activities with me also share my interests, which makes them much easier to talk to. Because of this, I have grown up in an environment that fosters the habit of talking to new people and trying to find common interests. This exposure has lead to the development of an outgoing personality, which I take great pride in.

I am a thinker not a talker therefore socializing isn't my cup of tea. Growing up, I was the happiest kid but I was also extremely shy which often made me keep to myself. Growing up being the only girl with four brothers played a major role in my life that lead me to the person I am now. As I’ve gotten older from elementary to highschool, being alienated was normal and socializing was overwhelming. Although I still have problems with communicating with others I know that I have more life to live which will eventually break me out of this phase.

I’ve always been a shy person around people I don’t know. Growing up and going through Primary, Elementary, and Middle School with the same people got me out of being shy just around the people I had always gone through school with. In 8th I had the opportunity to apply to Yadkin Valley Regional Career Academy and have the chance to meet new people and in new setting. I got to meet different people and get out of my shy phase were I don’t like to meet new people.

Death is the final chapter of our story. Chapter 18 of our text describes it as a permanent break where our experiences come to an end; we leave family and friends behind as well as any unfinished business to enter the unknown. Although, I believe, as for Christians, death is when our life truly begins. Death, for me, means entering the glorious Kingdom and finally meeting my Maker. American contemporary Christian music band, MercyMe, wrote a song called I Can Only Imagine, which talks about ways we might act when coming face-to-face with Christ. When I think of dying, I think of the lyrics to this song.

My middle school years were a blur. I had a few friends that I was close and did not associate with others. I felt extremely left out and down on myself. I did not understand how other girls could be so fun and outgoing. I would have done anything to fit in, but I did not have it in me. By the time eighth grade came around, I was started to work on my confidence. In our English class, we were performing Romeo and Juliet. I decided to push my comfort zone and ask to play the role of Juliet. I don’t know how in the world I ever performed in front of all of those people, but I loved it. I had quit gymnastics when I was 13 years old. I was tired of the constant training and missing out on growing up. At this time I was nearing the end of middle school.. I was able to start to focus on peer groups and interests other than gymnastics. I started to play field hockey, where I made many new friends that went to my school. This helped to carry over into high school as I already had friends that were going to be on my sports team.