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What Is Happening At Me?

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What is happening to me?
This is not supposed to happen! This is exactly what I need to avoid.
I’m becoming clumsy and careless. I’m getting way too comfortable with these people.
First I told Aiden about my dad driving drunk and killing himself and a little girl while I was in the car, revealing more information in that one night than I’ve ever revealed to anyone before. I’m letting Char sleep over my house tonight, where if she sees me take a sleeping pill I’d have to lie and make sup excuses. Then I forgive Mason faster than the speed of light, and I slipped up and mentioned Luke’s name.
I don’t make ‘slip ups.’ My safety and identity are based on my ability to not slip up, but I did. I’m becoming more and more comfortable with these …show more content…

I need to leave.
It’s time to change towns and identities. I’ve only ever left a town and switched identities when signs of Tony emerged or when he actually showed up, but this is different.
Tony is out there and looking for me. He’s insane, ruthless, and has nothing left to live for. His whole life is oriented around finding me, tormenting me, and then killing me.
He will find me, it’s only a matter of when. When he comes for me, I don’t want anyone else to get in the way. I don’t want Mason or Anna or Chase or anyone else getting mixed up in my shit. I especially don’t want Aiden involved in any of this. They will get hurt, and people can die.
This isn’t a game, and this is bigger than my selfish emotions. I can’t let these people that I care so much about get hurt because I selfishly got attached and let them get too close to me. I need to leave before things get harder than they have to.
I subconsciously tighten my grip on Aiden’s hand, as if my body’s registering what I’m thinking and refuses to leave him.
Aiden looks down at me and tenderly strokes my hand with his thumb reassuringly, thinking that my racing pulse and tight grip are due to my nervousness of being near Ryan and the Silvers, not because of my intentions of leaving him.
I give him a small smile and relish the feeling of Aiden’s tenderness, trying to store it in my memory so that I can recall it when I’m gone.
As we get closer to Ryan and the Silvers, I know that I should

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