What Is Unsupportive Co-Parenting?

Rudolph Schaffer and Peggy Emerson (1964) also formulated a theory of attachment based on their longitudinal study of 60 babies in Glasgow looking at the gradual development of attachments; they visited them monthly for the first year of their lives and returned again at 18 months. (Bailey et al. 2008). Similar to Bowlby’s research, Schaffer and Emerson also formulated four key stages of attachment and produced

Broderick and Blewitt (2015) stated, John Bowlby and Erik Erikson “proposed that the relationships that an infant has with one or a few caregivers during the first year of life provide him with a working model of himself and of others” (p. 133). Attachment theory plays a large role in cognitive and emotional development because it sets a foundation for the child. A case study of Angela, a 17-year-old mother, and her 11 month-old son, will dive into the attachment relationship between the two and extenuating circumstances surrounding that attachment. Angela is attempting to raise her son under the roof of her mother; who doesn’t support a paternal relationship for Adam. Angela’s attachment relationship with her son is an example of intergenerational transmission of attachment due to her attachment style with her own mother. Studies have shown positive and negative influences of teen mothers living in a home supervised by an adult, concerns with maternal attachment leading to disruptive behaviors, young children being untrusting of a mother due to an insecure attachment, and potential interventions to support a positive attachment relationship.

One thing that almost everybody will have to deal with at least once in their lifetime is parenting. In parenting, both parents are needed to make the job easier on themselves, their marriage and their child. In the essay The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was. by Hope Edelman, Edelman tells her experience with co-parenting. Edelman, along with many women, initially believed that co-parenting was possible. She soon figured out, however, that it was not a realistic goal. Some points that Edelman hits in the essay are the gender roles and societal expectations in parenting, being the nurturer versus being the provider, and how poor communication can ruin

Everyone has an attachment style from which they developed in the first two years of their life. This attachment style tends to stay consistent with each person throughout their lifetime and affects their social-emotional development, and thus relationships with other people. Attachment styles greatly affect the choice one makes in life partners, and how they parent their own children. It is important for everyone to gain insight on their own attachment style if they are to know their emotional limits and how to strengthen their flaws in order to develop a better-self and stronger relationships with other people (Norcross, 2011). It is even more so important for caregivers to be aware of their attachment style and how sensitively available they are to the children in their lives. How the primary caregiver responds to the child’s needs, determines the attachment style the child will acquire. To develop a secure attachment the child needs to establish confidence in a reliable caregiver. In this paper I will be talking about the behaviors and interactions that I observed while watching the film “Babies”, and what attachment styles may be formed as a result of those interactions.

The stereotype that African American fathers are not there for their children is a common misconception throughout America. The idea of absent African American fathers is fleeting because more people are beginning to shine light on the statistics of the real number of absent African American fathers. In fact, African American fathers are just as present as white fathers regardless of the relationship with the mother. The latest data finds that the stereotypical gender imbalance in this area doesn’t hold true, and dads are just as hands on when it comes to raising their children. For children between the ages of 5-18, 67% of fathers talk with their children about their day daily. This manner of conversation is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

A healthy or secure attachment develops over time because of a caregiver’s consistent, sensitive care that they have towards a young child. Each time a caregiver interacts in ways that focus fully on the individual child, it furthers connections. When a caregiver attempts to read a baby’s cues and tries to respond to the child’s needs and wishes, the baby learns the caregiver is a source of comfort and security. Children with secure attachments learn that their world is a safe place because the people in it are caring and understanding. They also learn that their ways of communicating result in others responding and understanding them. This reinforces their efforts to continue to express themselves to others. Consistent back-and-forth exchanges that happen over time are one of the ways to build positive relationships. Children with secure attachments feel confident in exploring their environment, which allows them to learn. It’s the accumulation of intimacy during these numerous interactions that turns ordinary tasks into a relationship-based curriculum.

Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)

Often times the young African American mothers end up being young African American single mothers. The father’s involvement impacts many aspects of young African American mothers’ parenting. In a study by Cynthia O Lashley, Sydney L Hans, and Linda G Henson “Young African American mothers’ changing perceptions of their infants during the transition into parenthood”, Lashley et al. included research from McElroy & Moore stating “although most African American teenage mothers are not married to their children’s fathers, there is great variability in the patterns of involvement young men have with their families”. According to Gee and Rhodes, Fathers are usually more involved close after birth, however involvement decreases as the child gets older (Lashley 482). Because the young parents are not married and the pregnancies are often unplanned there is a lot of strain on their couple relationship and the relationship could diminish due to the stress of parenthood, making it easier for the father to be non-present in the child’s

Past literature has emphasized the importance of secure attachment bonds in childhood and their impact on social (Bohlin, Hahekull, & Rydell, 2000) emotional (Waters, Virmani, Thompson, Meyer, & Jochem, 2010) and cognitive (Bernier, Beauchamp, Carlson, & Lalonde, 2015) functioning. High-quality caregiver-infant relationships are critical for development and protect against later psychopathology. As mentioned by Bowlby (1969/1982), early infant interactions with caregivers become internalized and serve as internal models for later relationships. These working models influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and determine whether a child will develop a secure or insecure attachment style. Maternal sensitivity is seen as central to secure attachment (Ainsworth, Blehar, Water, & Wall, 1978). Attachment figures who display high levels of sensitivity and responsiveness (i.e., appropriately responding to and attending to their children’s cues) promotes secure attachment. The construct of emotional availability successfully captures these important parental qualities and reflects the dyadic nature of caregiver-child relationships.

The concept of infant-mother attachment is as important to the child as the birth itself. The effect this relationship has on a child shall affect that child for its entire life. A secure attachment to the mother or a primary caregiver is imperative for a child’s development. Ainsworth’s study shows that a mother is responsive to her infant’s behavioral cues which will develop into a strong infant-mother attachment. This will result in a child who can easily, without stress, be separated from his mother and without any anxiety. Of course the study shows a child with a weak infant-mother relationship will lead to mistrust, anxiety, and will never really be that close with the mother. Without the

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

These characteristics are well demonstrated in Mary Ainsworth’s experiment of the “strange situation.” Researcher Chris Fraley describes the study as, “a group of 12 month-old infants and their parents are brought in to the laboratory and, systematically separated from and reunited with one another.” Approximately 58 percent of the children demonstrated characteristics of secure attachment. When the parent left the room the child displayed signs of distress with a need to be close to the attachment figure. When the parent returned to the room, the child eagerly approached

According to Family Systems Theory (FST), a family is an interconnected system, with each subsystem affecting every other subsystem. Thus, when predicting the effects of parenting on child outcomes, triadic family interactions should provide unique information, beyond that of the summed effects of mother-child and father-child interactions (Minuchin, 1985; Cox & Paley, 2003). Competitive co-parenting in triadic family interactions is characterized by one adult undermining the other in order to take control of parenting or to win favor with the child over the other parent (McHale, 1995). In this pattern, parents

By responding with care and comfort, this enables for an “attachment bond” to form between the infant and caregiver, most commonly the mother (White et al., 2013). Following on from Bowlby’s theory, Mary Ainsworth investigated the theory of attachment through observing the reactions of infants when their mothers left them alone with strangers. The investigation was named as the “Ainsworth’s strange situation assessment” (White et al., 2013). It was discovered through this investigation that infants who had secure attachments with their mothers were upset when separated and were easily soothed when the mother returns. This investigation implies that infants with secure attachment to their mothers show signs of normal social development.

Attachment theory is a concept that explores the importance of attachment in respect to direct development. “It is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space” (Bowlby, 1969; McLeod, 2009). It is the relationship that develops within the first year of the infant’s life between them and their caregiver. The theory also relates to the quality of the attachment that is shown in the behavior of the infant (Rieser-Danner, 2016). Attachment theory shows that infants need a close nurturing relationship with their caregiver in order to have a healthy relationship. Lack of response from the caregiver