Why Do Some Marriages Fail?

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

For example, if an individual has always seen positive, happy marriages, their outlook on marriage will most likely be positive. In contrast, individuals who have seen nothing but failed and unhappy marriages they will have a negative outlook on marriage. Everybody is different and some individuals are just not made for marriage. Marriage Is trust, love, and honesty.

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

Marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, usually a man and a woman. When we think of marriage we usually think of a man and a woman with children living happily ever after. Sometimes this is not the case in some marriages around the world. Usually there is some struggle and difficulties in marriages that could end in divorce. According to Weaver (2014), “In today’s world, divorce is a normative event, affecting approximately half of all marriages in the United States (U.S. Census Bureau, 2004.)” (p.39) This is quite a large number of divorces considering that there is millions of people that live in the United States. Divorce is not always the easiest solution when ending a

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

Growing up children are surrounded with a fairy tale life, the ‘happily ever after.’ As girls we are supposed to wait for our prince charming and he will love us forever; and for boys it is finding and rescuing a beautiful princess who can cook, clean, and is loved by all creatures. That is what marriage is based off of as a child, but that perspective changes once we get a small grasp of the concept of love and we really see what marriage is. Marriage is not something anyone goes into lightly and maybe our expectations of the fairy tale life are why divorce is so commonly sought.

Marrying someone is a big decision and a life choice almost everyone must make. It is the most beautiful relationship anyone could ask for. One thing to never do is make this life decision with someone that you are not happy with. In the article “What if Marriage is Bad for Us?” Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens describe the ways marriage affects us negatively. In contrast, I believe that marriage brings positive influence in our lives. If marriage was bad for someone, would it make them unhappy? Will it make someone think different on how they view the person they married? Maybe even cause an emotional state that brings loneliness or sadness?

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

I believe that marriage is actually good for society, it is the choices that people make that will badly affect a marriage. “Marriage is also the source of more than a thousand federal rights and responsibilities, not to mention cheaper gym memberships, social approval, and all those gifts that arrive on your wedding day”(Essig and Owens 234). Are these the reasons individuals

A survey of 14000 adults states in ‘A Guide to Family Issues: The Marriage Advantage’ that marriage was a pertinent factor contributing to happiness and satisfaction with forty percent of the married individuals being happy as opposed to 25 percent of either single or cohabiting individuals. The same study shows that ninety eight percent of never married respondents wished to marry and out of those 88% believed that it should be a lifelong commitment. Even though, divorce rates are rising numerous researches show that young people aspire to have a lasting marriage.

It is believed that marriages fail due to a lack of affection. As a result, partners seek outside of their marriage to fulfill that void. I agree with the idea that Etzioni details in “Happiness is the Wrong Metric,” “humankind is motivated in part by their quest to live up to their moral commitments.” This is can be true in marriages that persisted for years. It is also assumed that many of these marriages have been through some uncompromising situations which is difficult to say in our current society.

Numerous amounts of people are opting out of marriage; they feel that because marriages end in divorce anyways, they shouldn’t even try. Carefully, Feldhanh emphasizes slight changes that will help decrease divorce rates such as being college educated; he also mentions how cohabiting might increase the possibilities of divorce. Uniting in marriage too young is also a factor in these high divorce rates, and it is recommended that couples marry after their mid-twenties in order to increase the possibility of reaching their twentieth anniversary. There lacks a perfect equation to make a marriage work, but simple and small details make a difference (pp.

Marriage is considered an “out dated” tradition that has no place in the modern world. So why do people feel like marriage is the ultimate goal to achieve? Matrimony is an institution very few people can be good at. Surprisingly, almost half of all marriages end up in a divorce. Marriage is a union of two individuals in a personal relationship. A plethora of qualities is needed to fulfill a high level of happiness in a caring and intimate marriage. The paradigm for marital structures has drastically changed in modern America; communication is a vital part to find a clear and collective solution to save a marriage in modern times.

In a society where getting married is a norm, why has it actually become one? In most societies, a marriage is considered a permanent social and legal contract and relationship between two people that is based on mutual rights and obligations among the spouses. When it comes down to it, people come together to get married for so many reasons, some very ordinary, some completely unorthodox. For instance, for love, to start a family, or to continue on the tradition. Plus, some not so common reasons such as, becoming a citizen, and getting married simply for the party and the free gifts. Although, if one of those reasons is the driving force to get married and to be a happy couple, why are the divorce rates so high? After listening to the podcast “Why Marry?”, Stephen Dubner discusses with Justin Wolfers, an economist at the University of Michigan and the Brookings Institution on the topic. It dealt with all the ways that marriage has changed over the last 50 years. They all brought up key reasonings on why they thought it has turned the way it has. Dunbar brought up “productive complementarities” and “consumption complimentary”, while Wolfers shares his thought on how generations have changed throughout time.

These constraints lead some cohabiting couples to marry, even though they would not have married under other circumstances. On the basis of this framework, Stanley, Rhoades, et al. (2006) argued that couples who are engaged prior to cohabitation, compared with those who are not, should report fewer problems and greater relationship stability following marriage, given that they already have made a major commitment to their partners. Several studies have provided evidence consistent with this hypothesis (Brown, 2004; Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009).