You Are Not The Same As You Were Before

My great-grandmother was the matriarch of my family. When I was in seventh grade, around thirteen years old, she passed away due to breast cancer. This misfortune created an extremely difficult time for me because, not only was I adjusting to the environment of junior high, but many other issues were occurring in my life; this was the third death that I was having to deal with. Unfortunately, one of the previous deaths (that I was still trying to hurdle through and come to terms with), had occurred almost exactly a year before the passing of my great-grandmother. The second death that I had gone through occurred only one or two months before my great-grandma has passed. All of this turmoil created numerous internal conflicts for me, but also taught me a key lesson to keep note of, for the rest of my life.

My grandfather's dementia had gotten worse with age. He had developed a habit of walking out of the house randomly. They lived alone in their apartment in Pakistan. One day he walked out the same way and did not return for a long time. We were later informed that he had tripped on his way and broke his hip. After surgery my grandmother called me, I was living abroad at that time, and said, "I don't think he will recover, he is in a lot of pain" I assured her otherwise. She said, "I can't live without him. I don’t want him to die." The helplessness and grief in her voice was agonizing. She would often call and cry, it became tough overtime as I was abroad and not fully aware of his progress. I am her oldest grandchild, and she treats me like

Everything is perfectly fine, everything is great, then one day it all comes crashing down and shattered pieces are left. My life would never be the same but I guess change is for the best and it forced me to become the person I am today. It’s rough to be the oldest child, especially when your mom is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and you have 3 younger sisters that look to you for comfort when their mom can’t be there. When the cancer is spread throughout your moms body doctors can’t just get rid of it no matter how badly you wish they could. Rounds of chemotherapy only slow it down, yet it’s still there a lurking monster waiting to reappear at any given moment. Nothing can even begin to describe the fear I felt, and still have to deal

Especially because I don't want you to end up like me.” The conversation is still fresh in my memory and tears form in the corner of my eyes when I think about it. My mother was aware that her life was no walk in the park and I think that's what hurt me the most. I would never want my children to see me in such a state that I've seen my mother in. At the same time I would want her to see that hard work truly pays off. A miracle is just another word for the result of hard work. Some people are born with silver spoons in their mouth and I've seen how meaningless their lives turn out to be. My mother proved to me that your struggles make you stronger and define who you are. Struggling is almost impossible to avoid and rather than sulking about it, I'd rather use it to make me a stronger person, like my mom

“What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.” (-Ralph Waldo Emerson). My parent´s divorce has shaped and influenced my whole life, with a lot of side effects. I fell into a state of depression. I learned not to dwell on the bad things in life. I found a person within myself that I could live with for a while, a kid that I could be proud of, someone I wouldn’t hate. Over the years, I’ve changed, little changes, big changes, it’s all happened, and I am who I am today because of it. Not all crummy circumstances stay awful, even though it may feel like it. I can’t tell if I’ve changed for the better or the worse, but everything starts with something, one thing. My parent´s divorce shaped me into who I am today, whether the changes were good or bad, little or big, this has changed me.

This made me think about what I would do if my mother died. I believe I would probably be very sad, but I would also keep moving in life. I can’t just stop what I am doing because someone has died -- my aunt’s death already taught me that. Everyone has to go sometime; that time will come sooner or later -- it’s inevitable. Starting anew every time someone close dies is a bad idea, because one will never get anything done that way. (84

This leads to where I started back at my house when my dad told my sister and I that my grandfather was diagnosed with Leukemia. That was one of the hardest things for me to hear considering that my grandfather was a big part of my life. My dad said that he was going to be in hospice care without chemotherapy because he said: “That he had lived his life.” Two weeks after being put into hospice care my grandfather passed away with all of his family by his side.

“Kirsty I don't know how to say this in a happy way but mom died. She died 10 minutes after you left. She woke up and said she loved us very much then passed away. There was no one there so the doctor called me and told me the news. He is very sorry for us and told us to stay strong. The funeral will be in a week in Utah” -Cathy

From that day on I now understand that one person can change your life, and how you act around people or towards things. Never take anything for granted. Say good positive things to people because never know when they are gonna die. When will I face something like this again? I hope to one day see my great grandpa again, but this time not on earth. I would give a million dollars to see him again and thank him for everything he did for me. The fall of 2006 was a gut wrenching experience that tore my heart apart. All I want to say is R.I.P great

“Sarah is at Children's Hospital, in the ICU”. Those are the words that changed my life. Sarah is extremely sick and it's making me want to be smart, strong, and kind. My sister, Sarah had lung failure when she was in 7th grade, she was hospitalized and stayed at Children’s Hospital in the ICU for around a week. Nearly a year later they found out what was wrong with her, she has Chronic Eosinophilic Pneumonia and Severe Asthma. When I saw her get sick I saw her being strong, nice, and keeping up on school work she made me want to have these qualities as well.

It all started with our family sitting at the dinner table with my mom crying, holding crumpled up tissues with black streaks of mascara on it. My dad nervous enough to say, “Your mom has stage four breast cancer.” Those words have stuck in my head clear as a bell for the last eight years. Our faces of curiosity soon turned into fear. As an eight year old I didn’t understand a lot of words grownups said, but those burning words were sharp knifes on my throat.

Watching my grandmother lay in the hospital and dieing was one of the most painful feelings I have ever felt in my life. I felt many different emotions when she passed away. I felt sad, angry, shocked, and many more, but all those feelings made me stronger as person mentally. I knew that one day everyone would die and no one could control that. Her death affected me in both a positive and negative way. My dad regrets many things that he did to his mom, so I know now that one day my parents will die and I should respect them and let them know I love them every day. The death of my grandma also made a negative effect on my life. Ever since she passed away my family been breaking

As a child, I did not have many friends, I was bullied throughout my entire childhood which caused me to shut most of the world out. I began to seclude myself from everything and everyone, except my grandfather. My grandfather quickly became my security blanket, my shoulder to cry on, and my best friend. He spent most of his time comforting me and telling me that I was too precious for this world. After a while, I began to believe those words and my confidence grew immensely. However, at the raw age of thirteen, my grandfather was diagnosed with stage three brain cancer and was given only a year to live. At that point, everything started to decay for me. I did not care about anything anymore, whether that was school, my family, or myself.

Losing my grandmother was one of the worst things that have happened to me. When she died, I knew my life had changed. I watched her take her last breath in the hospital and it was very heartbreaking. She was like my second mom because she was always with me. I didn’t think it would come so soon. Dealing with her death was one of the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. It was very hard because it was my second experience of losing someone very close to me around the same time of the year. I had to learn how to cope with losing her. I let all my emotions out, I didn’t listen to what anyone was saying, and I had to remember to take care of myself. Losing my grandmother changed me because she did everything for me. I had to grow up and be more responsible. I had to learn how

My life has been a crazy roller coaster with many events that have affected my life all in different ways. There have been times where my life has been at its highest peak in the world then it falls down, right into a deep valley. From the time my lovable younger sister came into my life to when my grandpa had a near death experience, I have learned many valuable lessons through the rough times as well as the more happy times. When I was a young girl, my mom had always told me the same thing over and over again. I never really thought about how a few words would have a deep effect on me in a short amount of time.