`` Against Love `` By Kipnis

1169 WordsMar 25, 20175 Pages
We’ve all seen the disastrous side effects of love. Divorce, torn families, and years of resentment towards divided partners, to name a few. Despite how love can and often does burn up in flames, people still fight for love and being in love like it’s the only hope they’ve got left. Everyone wants to love and be loved. It has this magic and mysterious aura surrounding it, something that is is utterly inexplicable until one has felt its effects themselves. In Kipnis’ novel, Against Love, she argues that the love most everyone seeks is not all it’s cracked up it to be. Finding and maintaining love she claims, will make both parties miserable in the end. To a certain extent, the Kipnis is correct. The love she describes in her essay that were…show more content…
People find a partner they are somewhat attracted to and force this fantastical idea of love to occur between them. They delude themselves about what they really feel for each other and convince themselves that they are happier than they really are. The problem is, pretending all the time gets exhausting, but with the pressure to make their never true love work and to not be alone, most couples just end up toughing it out, silently miserable but seeing no other escape. In addition to teaching everyone about the woes of being single, thus instilling a steel determination in the public to avoid it at all costs, the media has also been a huge source in educating people how to form relationships in our lives. People learn how to interact in with others through what they see in their lives, on the TV, and in books. However, what we see in books and on TV is that people have to give up essential aspects of their personality to make their relationship work. Society, not love, teaches us that “both parties must be willing to jettison whatever aspects of individuality to feel their autonomy is not being sacrificed, even as it is being surgically excised” (Kipnis 665). In almost every classic teenage romance movie, the protagonist has to completely change, both in physical appearance and personality, to gain the attentions of the person they “love.” These representations of how to find love ingrain in us, whether we like it or not, that changing ourselves is the only way

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