Analysis Of Ashley Nelson's Confessions Of A Stay-At-Home Mother

The change in policy that allows women and men to bring their newborn children to work with them is, in a sense, just one more change in our country norms and values. At one point leaving your child with a baby sitter or at a daycare center all day was considered being a bad parent, meaning it was the norm to stay home and take care of your child yourself. Then, as divorce rates went up and more women were forced to raise their children on their own, that changed and it became the norm for women to go back to work after a set time for maternity leave. This also made sending you child to a daycare center or leaving them with a babysitter the norm since you couldn’t be there to take care of your child. With women being allowed to bring their babies into work with them, that is again changing the norms of society, specifically those having to do with the care of children. Women used to be given a hard time when they brought their children into work with them, even if it was only for a matter of minutes. Now many of them are allowed to bring their children in for a whole day, every day. This is enabling women to care for their own children and raise them in their own way with their own values, instead of entrusting those important responsibilities to someone else. Mothers are also forming a closer bond with their children in an important time in a child’s development. This will lead to a stronger bond later

In Judith Stadtman Tuckers “The Least Worst Choice: Why Mothers Opt out of the Work Place” Judith Stadtman Tucker looks at why hard working, intelligent woman are choosing to leave their high end jobs to stay at home with their children. Judith Stadtman Tucker expresses her option that it is nearly impossible to work 40 hours a week, be available on your off hours as well as raise children. I fully agree with Judith Stadtman Tucker’s point of view that it is absurd to have to be at the mercy of your employer even in your off hours, nor less if you are attempting to create an emotional connection and successfully raise a child. It is no question that even in today’s modern society that it is assumed that woman are the best caregivers for young children. If you are put in a position where you have a child to raise, is it more appropriate to abandon your career or to emotionally abandon your child to a stranger or strangers and allow them to raise it? Judith Stadtman Tuckers argument against mothers having to choose between the joys of parenthood and the freedom of being able to work a career really speaks to me because it makes me consider what I want for my own future and what I would choose.

In her interviews with woman she was sure to interview very well educated women and those that strived for mere perfection. One thing is that the men in the lives of these women were not supportive and not mentioned of much. The men and society of today have placed a lot of responsibility on a woman’s shoulders when it comes to the child. It is the woman who makes the decision or is given the task to make the heavy decisions regarding the child’s future. Because of this many women choose to stay at home to be sure that the children will receive everything that they deserve and that they are not lacking in any area. Another issue that she reviews is that employers do not work with moms at all. For example she talked about the scenario where two moms brought a solution to their problem to management yet it failed to receive approval instead one mother was offered more money (Guest, 2011). Employers are not very flexible when it comes to mothers and don’t provide the proper care that is needed for a child. Since men are the ones that don’t carry the responsibility of the child’s well-being having proper day care is not a factor for them. Then there is the cost of day care which is high and can at times not compare to what the individual is making.

Past researches either supported or opposed the perceived incompatibility between motherhood and employment (Pacaut et al, 2012). This study revealed an increase in work interruption among women who began working before having children. It also showed a big decline in the gap that separates women with children and those without. The study concluded that changing attitudes towards mothers' work did not appear to ease the balance of work and motherhood. These attitudes include the availability of daycare

In addition, it has been noted that the access and time-span of maternity leave offered by a job greatly affects the amount of time it takes to return to work and future family-work relationships (Guendelman, Goodman, Kharrazi, & Lahiff, 2014). Those who were offered more than 12 weeks of maternity leave were more likely to return than those offered less (Guendelman, Goodman, Kharrazi, & Lahiff, 2014). Although this policy is highly complex, I chose to focus on impacts on gender roles, maternal health, children’s development, finances, and employer’s attitudes because these were the aspects that seemed to be abundantly clear throughout the research.

The Urban Institute published a case study that promotes the creation of national paid family leave policy in the United States. In the study, it is shown that this issue has been debated countless times in the past. George H.W. Bush even vetoed an unpaid family leave act during his presidency. This displays the struggles of enacting policy relating to this issue. The lack of a national paid family leave program in the US has left working mothers with three options: “return to work immediately after childbirth, quit employment, or take unpaid leave” (Urban Institute, 2017, p.3). The issue with these options include, loss of pay, unemployment, or the lack of parental presence in a child’s early development. Moreover, although some private companies offer paid leave, less educated and lower income mother have little access to this paid leave, which exacerbates their financial instability, keeping them in a lower societal class. This study found that not only is the current system is inadequate, but it is also inequitable, which causes financial hardships across the nation. According to the study, there has even been a 32% decrease in income after childbirth. Although this is the current situation, some states have enacted a statewide paid family leave program, which displays

The maternity leave laws make it difficult for women to not only have a child but be punished the workplace for having a child by not getting promotions, pay, and proper support. In an article by Abby McCloskey she explain, “The united states is the the only state in the developed world without a national paid-maternity-leave program. The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 mandates that employers offer twelve weeks of job-protected leave to workers for family-related issues. But 40 percent of working women are ineligible, owing to the act’s various restrictions. Moreover, because it is unpaid, many mothers cannot afford to take this leave even if they are eligible to do so” (McCloskey 20). These lack of benefits have a direct impact on the financial situation women face around the world. Imagine being a single mother with the expenses of a new born baby with no pay check, benefits, or finical security. Making maternity leave benefits more of a priority in the United States will not only help solve the gender inequality problem but it will help prevent single mother avoid

The United States is one of the only five countries in the world that does not mandate paid maternity leave for working women (Gilson). This causes a number of logistical and economic problems for many women in our country. Some women are forced to leave their jobs simply because they do not have any other reasonable alternatives for caring for their newborn babies. Other women may take unpaid leave, which leads to personal financial difficulties. Meanwhile, some women are forced to go back to work early, even though they may not have fully recovered from giving birth.

Incomes in the U.S. are currently falling, particularly among low-income families. Because one income is no longer enough to support the family, it is now necessary for many women to bring home a paycheck as well. (Warner 27). Having young children while working is difficult for many women in the U.S. workplace. In fact, thirty-five percent of U.S. women have cited work and family balance as their largest, single concern (Appelbaum and Milkman 8). For this reason, many developed countries around the world devote resources to providing for their young families because they are aware of the role that women play in sustaining the country. In 2014, eleven countries provided at least one hundred weeks of protected leave and the majority of

Due to a high rate of women opting out of the work force, they are leaving behind a negative stigma throughout the job market. This negative reputation has women not being seen as the ideal worker, especially for jobs that the individual has to work 35 to 40 hours a week. Women are stereotyped as future mothers when they enter the workforce, so they are not seen as the quintessential person for certain job positions. They also have to face societal norm that they are the care givers and that’s how it also has been. So if a child is sick or they need to be picked up, it is majority of the time the mother that has to leave work or has to take a few days off.

Stephanie Coontz, author of “Why Gender Inequality Stalled,” emphasizes on how women are still challenged in today’s society about inequality of women wanting to have a career and raising a family instead of staying at home to care for her family. Women making the choice to have a baby and have a career is often frowned upon. According to Coontz, “when they become mothers, they face more scrutiny and prejudice on the job than fathers do” (7). In a two family household, mothers often have to take off work to care for their children in case of emergencies than fathers do. In single household families, mothers are full time parents and have a full time job.

The first issue of importance is paid family leave. Paid family leave offers parents the ability to stay at home and take care of the new born child. “The number of working women with infants under 12 months has increased dramatically from 30 % in 1975 to 58 % in 1998”. Furthermore, some developed countries allow parents to stay at home to take care of the newborn without risking losing employment. “Women in countries including the United Kingdom, France and Australia receive between 14 and 52 weeks of paid maternity leave and guaranteed job security with wage.” In addition, the United States protects employed women with newborns to paid leave under the Family Medical Leave Act. “[the Family Leave Act] provides 12 weeks of unpaid, job protected

Working mothers are a regular target for statistical discrimination and motherhood, linked with a per-child wage penalty of approximately 5%, (Correll, Benard, & Paik, 2007), is widely understood to be “one of the worst career moves a woman can make” (Miller, 2014). Mothers are frequently perceived as less competent employees, are thought to be less committed to their jobs, and are more likely to receive wage, hiring, and promotional penalties for having children (Correll, Benard, & Paik, 2007). Contemporary norms only worsen the current situation: as women are socialised to prioritise caregiving and childrearing over their careers, employers become more and more hesitant to hire them, since they predict that they will be less likely to honour workplace commitments and more prone to leaving their jobs in the future (Schneebaum, 2013). The opposite is true for men: most fathers are perceived as stable, reliable, and dedicated employees – largely because employers expect them to be less “flaky” (Miller, 2014)

It is a common conception that women in the work place to begin with have a disadvantage but even more so if the woman is in fact a mother or the primary caregiver in the family. Written in Motherhood as a Status Characteristic says that “The pay gap between mothers and non-mothers under age thirty-five is now larger than the wage gap between young men and women” Nearly everyday there is one that asks why there is a wage gap between men and women but you rarely hear someone ask about the wage gap between mothers in the workforce and non-mothers in the work force. Ridgeway and Correll analyze some of the reasons as to why there could be a gap in how and why women of motherhood and women on non-motherhood get treated differently in society.

They argue that this media driven debate pins working mothers against stay-at-home mothers in order to “divert the dialogue away from the real issues such as affordable health care, quality childcare, gender and racial equality, fathers’ roles in parenting, media effects, fair wages and benefits, and family-friendly work arrangements” (204). They state that in this culture of mother-blame, mothers have been blamed for causing problems in regards to childhood development such as, “epilepsy, colitis, asthma, ulcers, arthritis, anorexia nervosa, and a multitude of more severe problems in children” (207). However, they argue that it is now “accepted that these disorders are in fact not caused by poor mothering…” (208). Another issue with the Mommy Wars debate is that it portrays a universal kind of woman – white, affluent, and heterosexual – ignoring the fact that there are many different kinds of mothers of all backgrounds, sexualities, and economic statuses – which can make those who are not reflected as the “average” mother, feel inadequate. The authors further argue that these messages that working mothers are harming their children are what discourage women from economic participation and achievement and can have a negative impact on a mother’s perception of herself - which in turn can affect her performance as a parent. It seems that the