Arranged Marriage : A Cruel Esteem By Society

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

There are many unique concepts in marriages in India that differ from American marriages, such as arranged marriages. According to statisticbrain.com, “88.4% of marriages in India are arranged marriages”. The idea of having families set you up with your significant other is viewed as a very odd concept to people of American culture. Many other norms and traditions generally seen in Indian weddings differ greatly from what you might see at a wedding in America. There are many differences such as the traditions before the wedding and what goes on during and after.

Marriage is a relationship is about coming together in which two people have promised themselves being with each other. However, marriage in the United States has changed in the 1950s from what it is today. Marriage in the 1950s was different because there was no such idea of a divorce because women had to fix their marriage. (Tartakovsky). Yet, marriage that occurs today people can get a divorce in America. Marriage is better today in America than in the 1950s because of more freedom and not being pressured into marriage in society. This time period 2015 for me is more preferable to live in for marriages instead of in the 1950s. Although marriage is a union between two people, there is a

“Marriage and Love”, a short essay by Emma Goldman, gives a wonderful argument regarding love and marriage, in fact, she nails it. Marriage does not equal love or has anything nothing to do with it. Not only that, but the marriage could also easily kill whatever relationship was there prior to the declaration. Marriage is simply a social construct, one that imposes control by religion, tradition, and social opinion (Goldman 304). However, if marriage is such the ball and chain that we all joke about, then why do people get married?

In “For better, for worse: Marriage means something different now,” Stephanie Coontz reveals the worldwide changes in people’s attitudes and behaviors towards marriage. According to Coontz, education and the social norms are the reasons why marriage has become nonessential. Being single and going through a divorce are more acceptable now. The motivations of marriage have turned from economic dependence into personal willingness. In fact, Coontz’s words make me wonder the true meaning of marriage. Even though the meaning has changed over times, I believed that I still hope to get married.

After reading the article called, “What is Marriage For?” by E.J. Graff I completely agree with the article and I also relate, as well. The reason is I’m part of the LGBTQ community and from the moment I realized I was, I knew when I decided to get married it would be a huge obstacle because I would have to leave the state I was born and raised in which is North Carolina. The reason why I had to leave would be before the law was made in North Carolina same sex marriage wasn’t allowed but only few states allowed it. So, I was truly happy when it was legalized. In addition, in some of the states the only way I could really get married is by civil union which has far less benefits when compared to actual marriage. In the article, it even talks about some of the stories that same sex couples had to deal with the

In over half a century, marriage has transformed from being a social requirement to simply being an option in today’s society. What has caused this change? Many institutions in our society have changed drastically along with marriage. Although these institutions have not caused marriage to be optional, they do strongly correlate with the decreased value. The economy, education, religion, and government have all altered since the 1950s. When any institution encounters a change, all other institutions are affected. Family is a major institution in society, and I believe that marriage is an important aspect of this institution. Cohabitation, religion, women in the work world and divorce have all effected the way marriage is viewed today.

Marriage, what a wonderful thought it is, just the thought of it brings joy to the minds of many. But can you imagine a time where marriage had to be fought for where it wasn’t just allowed. What a hard time the people of this time had to go through. For example, the emperor who band marriage or the 14 times people had to bring the case of marriage to the Supreme Court. Or maybe the loving v. Virginia case. All of these are re4asons why marriage should be appreciated more today here’s why.

Love is portrayed in society as a perfect bond between two people and that they live happily ever after but that is not always the case. In the story “Once upon a Time in a Tent” written by Tim Neville talks about his time living in a tent in his backyard and his journey through his three relationships. In the story “The Arranged Marriage” written by Mira Jacob she talks about how her parents are in an arranged marriage and never showed any affection towards each other.

A quote from a famous American author, Mark Twain says “Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” The definition of marriage varies with cultures and views. The most popular and idealistic notion is that it’s a result from the unconditional love of two people wanting to share it for the rest of their life, in a committed and long bonding way. For some, however, marriage is more of an economical arrangement, a pact for two people to help and catch each other when the other one fall. And for others, it is just a paper that one can throw away if not needed, or by simple saying, marriage is not important.

Looking at Marriage today, as the age of enlightenment has hit America, Timothy Keller says in his book The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, “Marriage was seen as a contract between two parties for mutual individual growth and satisfaction. In this view, married persons married for themselves, not to fulfill responsibilities to God or society.” Although marriage is only between two people, the concepts can be applied to any community, as God ordained marriage as the holy community, sealed by and through him. Marriage is supposed to be all about serving one another, and growing spiritually and morally through the years, not about feeding off of sexual gains and other individual desires. This is why divorce rates are so high, and why so many fights happen. It is because America has lost the definition and beauty of marriage, as it is often portrayed as a trap, or a “settle down” type thing. Not at all, because marriage is all about spiritual growth through each other and the

In the article “What if marriage is bad for us?” by Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens, they state marriage is too traditional and can make you feel trapped, marriage only benefits your financial state if you work hard, and is not always so good on your mental and emotional health. However, marriage pros will always outweigh the cons no matter what way you look at it.

In American culture the view on arranged marriages are not looked at very favorably. This is because we have grown up with the knowledge that when it comes time to marry we will have chosen our spouse of our own free will. The match will be a love match and one that is chosen through our own needs. Young men and women in India grow up with an opposite view on marriage. They know that when it comes time to marry their parents will find them a suitable mate and it will be considered scared and a lifelong commitment (Agence France-Presse.) A total of 74 percent of respondents from across India voted in favour of traditional "arranged" marriages, according to the poll by private television channel NDTV. In the Hindu faith, marriage is

Marriage matters. If marriage did not matter, would it even be considered when growing up? The common child at some point thinks about getting married and having children. Our society has gone through monumental shifts throughout its history. A theme that has not changed however, marriage, has survived through it all due to its importance. Our children and our health are two of the most important aspects of life. Marriage will help in both of those categories. Children have better relationships with their parents because of marriage. Watching their parents, they grow up having better relationships themselves. Increased success in school has been noted. Families are more financially stable,

Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.