Dealing With and Conquering Grief in Banana Yoshimoto's Books, Kitchen and Midnight Shadows

Grief is a natural response to a major loss, though often deeply painful and can have a negative impact on your life. Any loss can cause varied levels of grief often when someone least expects it however, loss is widely varied and is often only perceived as death. Tugendhat (2005) argued that losses such as infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, adoption and divorce can cause grief in everyday life. Throughout our lives we all face loss in one way or another, whether it is being diagnosed with a terminal illness, loss of independence due to a serious accident or illness, gaining a criminal record (identity loss), losing our job, home or ending a relationship; we all experience loss

The life transition of death and dying is inevitably one with which we will all be faced; we will all experience the death of people we hold close throughout our lifetime. This paper will explore the different processes of grief including the bereavement, mourning, and sorrow individuals go through after losing someone to death. Bereavement is a period of adaptation following a life changing loss. This period encompasses mourning, which includes behaviors and rituals following a death, and the wide range of emotions that go with it. Sorrow is the state of ongoing sadness not overcome in the grieving process; though not pathological, persistent

As Keanu Reeves once said, “Grief changes shapes, but it never ends” (“Tragic”). When it comes to grief there are usually five shapes or stages that people go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. The book A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness, is about a young boy who is struggling with school, bullies, friends, and family when his mother develops a terminal illness. He is visited by the monster, a massive yew tree, who comes alive to teach Conor the ways of the world. He also teaches Conor the truth in order to move past his mother’s sickness. Ness shows how people in both literature and real life tend to go through five stages of grief while dealing with a loved one who has a terminal illness because of the overwhelming lamentation it inflicts.

Many people define their lives by the relationships within their family. They are someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, or someone’s mother or father. The loss of a family member, especially due to death, creates a radical readjustment to people’s day to day lives and how they see and feel about themselves. Sometimes the process of grief can last over several years and how it is mentally processed and dealt with is different for everyone. “Mud” by Geoffrey Forsyth, shows an insightful view of a grieving man who had already lost his father and grandmother and is now just coming to terms with the loss of his wife two years prior. The entire story is written in first person point of view which allows for the reader to fully engage themselves in the grief and strife of the narrator’s life. Geoffrey’s story “Mud” begins in the home of the narrator where he encounters these dead family members and has to decide if he is ready to move on from his grief and say goodbye or stay behind and be consumed by it.

Loss is a phenomenon that is experienced by all. Death is experienced by family members as a unique and elevated form of loss which is modulated by potent stages of grief. Inevitably, everyone will lose someone with whom they had a personal relationship and emotional connection and thus experience an aftermath that can generally be described as grief. Although bereavement, which is defined as a state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one, is a universal experience it varies widely across gender, age, and circumstance (definitions.net, 2015). Indeed the formalities and phases associated with bereavement have been recounted and theorized in literature for years. These philosophies are quite diverse but

In normal life, people will sometimes suffer from depression or sickness caused by the loss of a loved one in a romantic or family relationship. This has been a part of life for hundreds of years and it is a way that authors like Edgar Allan Poe, William Faulkner and Horacio Quiroga connect with people all throughout the world. Using exaggerated scenarios, these authors communicate how much of an impact isolation or abandonment can have on a person physically or mentally decaying.

Each individual has a unique way of coping with death, and this is evident throughout Christina Rossetti’s, “Remember” and W. H. Auden’s “Stop all of the Clocks”.

The grieving that individuals experience with death is unique, but the main stages are universal across cultures (Axelrod, 2017). There are five stages of grief. Nicolas Wolterstorff’s story, Lament for a Son, addresses these five stages as he tries to find joy after the loss of his son. The meaning and significance of death in light of the Christian narrative is also addressed in the story. Having a hope of the resurrection can help comfort individuals in situations similar to Wolterstorff (Wolterstorff, 1978).

The kitchen’s purpose, for instance, is used as a symbol for warmth and security where the family gathers together, eats and talks about common issues. Furthermore this comfort is broken when the little girl “heard her mother closing cupboards and drawers, heard her father’s boots on the linoleum as he moved toward the back porch.” (57) This determines the disruption of shelter and the action of closing the cupboards and drawers suggests the need of protection.

Banana Yoshimoto’s Kitchen and Moonlight shadow are Japanese novellas in which the protagonist is followed during their grieving period. In order to accurately depict the nature of significant loss and its aftermath, the stories follow distinct structures to that of western literature. Yoshimoto intensifies unexpected losses in a young woman’s life with the non-linear structure and the deficit of foreshadowing. The structure supports the story’s themes of lack of control in life and the unexpectedness it withholds.

The book, Lament For a Son, written by Nicholas Wolterstorff talks about his pain and grief after losing his 25-year-old son (Joy, 2009). His son died while on a mountain-climbing expedition. Dr. Wolterstorff has several books published during his career as a philosophical theology professor in Yale Divinity. However, he wrote Lament for a Son with a different journal style since it is a personal thing for him. The book is similar to a journal as he narrates the events that happened before and after his son’s death. The emotions expressed in the book are common among people who lose close relatives. What matters is how a person handles the issue. Kubler-Ross invented the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptancethat explain the escalation of grief when stricken by bad news (Axelrod, 2004). The paper looks into the book and its relation to the five stages of grief.

Whether it is over the death of a loved one or a very emotional situation, grief is inevitable. Most individuals experience a form of grief at some point in their lifetime. Coping with a distressing situation can be a very difficult task and there are many arguments as to whether there is a set and correct method on how to deal with grief or not. Many people have created a grieving process that includes going through certain stages in order. However, this proposed grieving method is no more than a false theory. Due to the fact that every single person grieves differently, there is no way to possibly set a specific way to grieve. “A Raisin in The Sun,” by Lorraine Hansberry and “Hamlet, Prince of Denmark,” by William Shakespeare both

Grief is the act following the loss of a loved one. While grief and bereavement are normal occurrences, the grief process is a social construct of how someone should behave. The acceptable ways that people grieve change because of this construct. For a time it was not acceptable to grieve; today, however, it is seen as a necessary way to move on from death (Scheid, 2011).The grief process has been described as a multistage event, with each stage lasting for a suggested amount of time to be considered “normal” and reach resolution. The beginning stage of grief is the immediate shock, disbelief, and denial lasting from hours to weeks (Wambach, 1985). The middle stage is the acute mourning phase that can include somatic and emotional turmoil. This stage includes acknowledging the event and processing it on various levels, both mentally and physically. The final stage is a period of

It is inevitable that death is all around us. By understanding this, one has the ultimate choice to continue on with their lives or remain in a state of bereavement. An inability to escape this grieving state inhibits one to move on and consequently these feelings dictate and govern our whole lives. This philosophy, existentialism, advocates that as humans we have the power to direct our own lives and pave our own paths. Author Banana Yoshimoto recognizes this ideal and illustrates the journey of how several young adults finally realize their place and meaning in the world despite their struggles. They all face a similar tragedy where their loved ones perished from their lives, and are ultimately challenged to overcome their

This essay explores several models and theories that discuss the complexities of loss and grief. A discussion of the tasks, reactions and understanding of grief through the different stages from infants to the elderly, will also be attempted.