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Etiquette : Etiquette And Etiquette

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Before writing anything else, I 'd like to put in a disclaimer. I am not an etiquette expert nor am I a wedding etiquette expert. Nor have I ever claimed to be. I have a bit of a love-hate affair with etiquette, and since etiquette is so closely associated with weddings, it 's only fair that I put my views on the subject in plain view for all to see. This piece is intended to clarify those views and is a result of numerous email requests asking for my take on the subject.
Having said that, I will repeat that I have a love-hate affair with etiquette. I agree with the basic premise behind etiquette and believe that many aspects of etiquette are useful and should be followed. My personal opinion is that etiquette should be followed if you are …show more content…

It rarely takes into account that there are situations that warrant going against the grain of etiquette. It does not differentiate between local customs and attempts to label all cultures and traditions with the same "rules" and ways of doing things. In essence, it lumps all people into one mold. As human beings we are a varied bunch, and we all have different customs, traditions and cultures.
Second Wedding Etiquette

I have to admit that many of the etiquette rules I most strongly disagree with, deal with the issue of second weddings. I have already stated this in the past and you can find my past statements in the Wedding Dollars and Sense column. To be fair, many etiquette experts disagree with many aspects of second wedding etiquette as well. Where etiquette is concerned, there is still a bit of a stigma attached to marrying more than once. No matter how much we all hope and pray that we will find the "right" person to marry the first time, the reality is that it does not always happen. It happens for various reasons, and until I can walk in someone else 's shoes I can not say that I would not have made the same choices as that person did.
The concept that a couple should not have a wedding with "all of the frills" is the one which bothers me the most. It encompasses many different rules of etiquette, but gives the impression that a person who was married before does not "deserve" to have a traditional wedding. Unfortunately, this does not take personal

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