Before writing anything else, I 'd like to put in a disclaimer. I am not an etiquette expert nor am I a wedding etiquette expert. Nor have I ever claimed to be. I have a bit of a love-hate affair with etiquette, and since etiquette is so closely associated with weddings, it 's only fair that I put my views on the subject in plain view for all to see. This piece is intended to clarify those views and is a result of numerous email requests asking for my take on the subject.
Having said that, I will repeat that I have a love-hate affair with etiquette. I agree with the basic premise behind etiquette and believe that many aspects of etiquette are useful and should be followed. My personal opinion is that etiquette should be followed if you are
…show more content…
It rarely takes into account that there are situations that warrant going against the grain of etiquette. It does not differentiate between local customs and attempts to label all cultures and traditions with the same "rules" and ways of doing things. In essence, it lumps all people into one mold. As human beings we are a varied bunch, and we all have different customs, traditions and cultures.
Second Wedding Etiquette
I have to admit that many of the etiquette rules I most strongly disagree with, deal with the issue of second weddings. I have already stated this in the past and you can find my past statements in the Wedding Dollars and Sense column. To be fair, many etiquette experts disagree with many aspects of second wedding etiquette as well. Where etiquette is concerned, there is still a bit of a stigma attached to marrying more than once. No matter how much we all hope and pray that we will find the "right" person to marry the first time, the reality is that it does not always happen. It happens for various reasons, and until I can walk in someone else 's shoes I can not say that I would not have made the same choices as that person did.
The concept that a couple should not have a wedding with "all of the frills" is the one which bothers me the most. It encompasses many different rules of etiquette, but gives the impression that a person who was married before does not "deserve" to have a traditional wedding. Unfortunately, this does not take personal
“Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem…” This quote from American journalist, Judith Martin, illustrates the concept that the presence of others creates or inspires expectations. Social norms, or specific cultural expectations for how to behave in a given situation, are practiced throughout various societies and cultures across the planet. People relay on social norms to provide order and predictability in social situations. Social roles are the part people play as members of a social group. With each social role one plays, the behavior changes to fit the expectations both you and others have of that role. It is most common for people to conform to the guidelines provided by the roles we perform. When one does not conform to the social norms, it is considered abnormal behavior. For this assignment, I faced the challenge to disregard expectations of social roles and norms in society.
Have you ever wondered why we hold the doors for those behind us? How about the reason we use utensils when we eat? What about why we always stand facing the doors in the elevator? These are all examples of what are known as social norms. According to Dr. Ward social norms are “basic rules of society that help people know what is and is not appropriate to do in any situation.” These basic rules of society are usually unwritten and unspoken and many of us pick up on them over time. Although, some social norms are very common throughout many cultures, there is a lot of them that vary depending on which culture you are apart of. For example, here in America, a major social norm that we have is when eating, the polite thing to do is to use spoons and forks, instead of digging in with your hands. For instance, we would not eat spaghetti with our hands but we would use a fork. In some Thiland cultures it is considered rude to put most foods in your mouth with a fork. Then there is also some cultures such as Chile in which it is impolite to use your hands for anything, even foods such as french fries, they use forks while eating.
Many legal and financial advantages can be attained through marriage. Instead of getting married after high school, people tend to go to college, get their life together, and then marry. The average groom is now thirty-seven and bride thirty-four (Discuss). According to Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, “41 percent of spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Couples these days aren’t communicating the proper way. Instead they get mad at each other and ignore one another. One or both people in the relationship have “checked out”, but they don’t want to divorce for the sake of the children. Or they still love each other, valuing each other as a support system and as close friends, but don’t feel that intimacy toward one another. As said in a marriage article from faqs.org, “The study, by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, found that the marriage rate among Americans is at its lowest point ever. Over the last forty years, the rate has fallen forty-three percent. In addition, fewer people are reporting themselves as being “very happy” in their marriages.” Today, most wedding ceremonies involve a religious service, which contains many traditional features that are significant to their cultures. Christian’s services contain wording that has been unchanged since the
Good manners can and will make you more successful in life. Many people don’t consider others and only care about themselves. This can not only be harmful to your well-being, but being rude can affect more people than just you. As Lauren Tarshis wrote in “Is Anything Wrong With this Picture,” “Manners serve to make the world a happier and more pleasant place to live.” The reason that manners exist is to keep us civil. Without them, everyone would be extremely rude and not much would be achieved. Classes would constantly be interrupted, people’s feelings would be hurt, and no one would have any respect for others. Thus, we all must try to use good manners and be
To begin with, marriage is a celebration of love, instead of an obligation. The world has transformed into a more open-minded. In bygone days,
If a book, tradition, or common practice, anything human, doesn't conform to the societal standards,
It shows respect to other people and a lack of manners is often interpreted as a lack of respect. Manners will influence on children’s behaviour therefore practitioners will need to be good role models.
Besides, I also learned that even though marriage is popular, the social norms governing marriage have become weaker. This happens may be because there is a change from institutional to companionate marriage and also there is a larger emphasis on marriage meeting individualistic and self-fulfilling need. People hold many expectations on marriage. People expect marriage can help
Over the course of the last several decades, the polarization of American society’s use of positive and negative social etiquette in all interactions has reached its greatest level in recorded history. Never before have we been more aware of the greater events taking place in the world, yet ignorant and uncaring of the smaller more personal intricacies of our daily lives. At least, this is what freelance writer Todd Schwartz would lead us to believe in his thought provoking paper “American Jerk”. The majority of statements Schwartz’ makes in this article are accurate for the majority of American society, yet he draws several flawed parallels and fails to provide the necessary information to prove his greater accusations. This results in
Judge Paul Heath Till’s essay “Morals, Manners, Customs, and Public Perception” has a very unique structure that helps the effectiveness of the authors argument. He starts off by giving reasons why people are lacking manners in everyday life. He also gives definitions of the words manner, manners, moral, and customs and then goes further to discuss the true meaning of these words. He also relates his life experiences and his personal beliefs to the topic at hand.
Initially, in this country Americans have been raised with strong morals. Sit up straight, get your elbows off the table, act like a human being! In the American society most people are raised on proper etiquette. Follow the rules you will get far, break them no one will care who you are, where you came from, let alone what you're doing with your life. In the American society
The change on the contemporary wedding, from what the society has been seeing in the 21st century, is phenomenal. People approach marriage very differently nowadays. Individuals still look for their “would-be” spouses. However, it's not for love or companionship purposes but convenience. In fact, Dr. Strohschein is quoted saying in the talk show says that marriage evolved to a "capstone" to an individual’s life and no longer a cornerstone of life as it used to be (Woodford, Luke, Grogan-Kaylor, Fredriksen-Goldsen, & Gutierrez, 2012). This paper explores Strohschein’s views in the light of sociological concepts and theoretical paradigm.
I noticed a lot people that were coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing without covering their mouths or washing their hands, seemly to be the most popular in this surrounding. Many people didn’t say much to the perpetrator but from the looks, body language, and actions, I could tell people were disgusted by the lack of manners others had. On many occurrences, when someone coughs, sneezes or blows their nose, while others were eating or ordering their food, they would roll their eyes or look at the person in disgust. I even witnessed a couple get up and leave the mall in a rage because someone sneezed near them without covering their mouth. The incident I will never forget, was one lady advised a young man, who coughed without covering his mouth, that he should cover he should do so, which left me in shock. Of everyone that was in the food court, women were more so the ones who were offended by people coughing, sneezing or blowing their noses without covering their mouth or washing their hands. These types of careless acts puts others at risks of coming in contact with your germs possible causing people to get sick. These particular behaviors are in violation of the folkways, causing one to lack traditions, etiquette, and customs. In short, not using your manners, like covering your mouth or being courteous of others. According to (Adler 2012), violations of folkways norms do not generate serious outrage, but might cause people to think of the violator odd.
The problem with insisting on common worldwide standards is that local customs in foreign cultures may be trampled
Etiquette has always been an important part of life, be it social or business. However, it seems that business etiquette is has become more important in the last decade. This is mainly due to the fact that the business world is becoming more global and that “relationship selling” has become must for success. Etiquette is important for a variety of reasons. It helps to ease what might become and uneasy situation and can make or break business relationships that are worth millions of dollars. In essence, etiquette helps people to understand what is appropriate in any situation. It is also important to know the difference between business protocol and business etiquette. Business