Extraordinary Relationships

Feldman’s description of development conforms to Hawkins’ (n.d.) design of the different systems symbolized by his concentric circles regarding the development of a person’s personality. According to Hart (1999), Wilson (2001), and Backus and Chapian (2000) to change the way one thinks it is necessary to effect change in one’s live because thoughts influence how events and other people are perceived. Everyone has different influences in their lives, from families to beliefs to economic situations; therefore, each person is a distinct and unique individual.

The goal of Bowen’ theory is to review developmental patterns within the familial system and the stress centered around the anxiety caused by closeness or the lack thereof (Penny, 1999). Bowen’s theory works to facilitate a decline in stress and anxiety by enabling the clients with education as to how the emotional system works and focusing on how to modify self perceptional behaviors instead of working to change others within the system (Penny, 1999).

Throughout the course of our lives we face things that are destined to happen both good and bad. Sometimes our destiny brings us bad luck, we are diagnosed with a sickness, we lose our jobs, or we are brought to realize the sad reality that, it’s just not meant to be. Could this all have been coincidence? Is it possible that my dad developed heart problems from eating unhealthy foods and not the fact that his mother developed them? Could it be that I lost my job because it was just time for me to move on and not because my next job would give me a career to develop my skills to be far more prepared for the road ahead? What if I didn’t have the funds to go to Full sail University simply because I just didn’t have enough money within my scholarship and it wasn’t just destined for me to eventually end up at Post University ?

Relationships between people can change lives forever. For instance, the relationship between a parent and a child is one of the most important ones because that is where our consciousness about love, trust, and assurance comes from. Depending on the relationship, it can either benefit or negatively affect the child’s future, since little children always look up to their parents as role models. In the novel, Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer, Chris McCandless is negatively affected by his relationship with his parents. Chris McCandless’ parent, on the outside, appear to want Chris to be a successful student. Meanwhile, in the inside appearance, especially Walter, was an abusive father. This reflected a double life and could cause a devastating

Murray Bowen’s theory of family systems therapy developed as a result of his study of schizophrenic patients. Early in his career, Bowen researched the symbiotic relationship between a mother and child in an effort to discover the possible patterned “causes” of schizophrenia. Bowen quickly concluded that several outside factors may contribute to a family member’s mental illness, and began calling for entire family systems to be treated. This idea led Bowen to develop the concepts of “differentiation of self” and “triangulation”(Nichols 2017, p.19).

Bowenian family therapy views human beings not simply as individual parts that make up a collective whole, but as a collective whole made up of various parts. That is, human beings are relational from birth and belong to a family or some other type of collective system where the joys and problems they experience are done not in a vacuum, but are shared and passed along from generation to generation. “The main goal…is to reduce chronic anxiety by 1) facilitating awareness of how the emotional system functions; and 2) increasing levels of differentiation, [with] focus on making changes for the self rather than on trying to change others” (Brown, 1999, p. 95).

Prior to establishing his theory post-World War II, Bowen studied the origins of schizophrenia and postulated that transgenerational maternal enmeshment was its cause. Bowen’s thoughts on this were similar to those on individuation. Though he believed psychoanalysis was too individualized for family therapy, the psychoanalytic notion that one’s interactions are driven by unconscious motivation was the theory’s germ of inspiration. Goldenberg & Goldenberg (2012) write that the most essential piece Bowen’s family systems theory is that the individual needs to resolve anxiety arising from their family of origin to find a sense of individuality. This concept is traceable to Bowen’s psychoanalytic roots as a psychiatrist.

Bohlinger (n.d.) states, “The Bowenian therapist would work to impart three important lessons to their clients: self-determination, self-advocacy, and re-engaging with the self in relationship” (Bohlinger, n.d.). The structural therapist is interested in boundaries between the client and the others around them, as oppose to the client’s intrinsic self. (Bohlinger, n.d.). Bowenian therapists work to help clients maintain and balance relationships, unlike the experimental therapist, who confronts the client on strengths and weaknesses, in hopes that they will accept both aspects of individuality (Bohlinger, n.d). Also, Bowenian therapy is interested in “historical” processes, instead of historical emotions and problems (Bohlinger, n.d.). An interesting aspect of Bowenian therapy is the lack of termination. Bowen believed differentiation is an ongoing process, unlike majority of family therapies (Walsh, Harrigan, 2003, p.

Dr. Murray Bowen, a psychiatrist, offered us the family systems theory. This theory views the family as an emotional unit, further providing a thinking systems approach to describe the complex interactions in the unit. Bowen offered, “A change in one person’s functioning is predictably followed by a reciprocal change in the functioning of others” (Kerr, 2000). If one person within the family unit is having a difficult time, it effects everyone within the family unit. An example of this would be a father who is the primary breadwinner for his family suddenly loosing his job. Prior

Bowen family systems theory is based on the view that the family is an emotional unit. The theory uses systems thinking to describe the interactions and relationships within the family. Given families are deeply

A well-differentiated self, while acknowledging the importance of family and social groups, can withstand conflict, rejection, and criticism and separate emotionally and intellectually from the family of origin.

Additionally, Murray Bowen had an extensive background in understanding the family function of individuals and how they tend to act in structured and unstructured settings (D.V. Papero, 2006). He proposed a theory called the differentiation of self, which is the trademark of the Murray Bowen theory and therapy (D.V.Papero, 2006). Differentiation of self is known as the ability to function independently without being emotionally dependent upon your family, which some individuals can manage how they feel in situations that are prone to create anxiety(D.V. Paper, 2006).

The Bowen family systems theory can utilize to understand the Gillison’s family dynamics. According to the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family (2016) the Bowen family system theory views family as an emotional unit that utilizes systems thinking to comprehend the complexity of the interactions within the unit. The theory describes families as having a major influence on their member’s thoughts, feelings and actions, which leads them to feel as if they are composed of the same “emotional skin”. The members of families, according to this theory, are driven by each other’s attention, approval, and support. The members therefore, react to each other’s expectations and wants and needs. The family is therefore interdependent. One change in one member’s function leads to a change in the functioning of the others. This is evidence in the case of the Gillison family.

In a similar way, just as Bowen sees differentiation in the context of the emotional capacity of the individual, Whitaker also takes an emotional approach when he posits that problems arise when individuals learn to suppress their emotions. As Bowen describes the individual’s struggle to define themselves and stand firmly amidst emotional pressures from others, Whitaker suggests that children can become estranged from themselves by learning to blunt their emotions to avoid criticism from their parents, who end up trying to curb bad behavior by inadvertently controlling or discouraging the child’s emotions (Nichols, 2013). Indeed, perhaps what both theorists are really describing is the struggle to be in touch with oneself and one’s feelings in the midst of pressures from the family unit. In addition, both these theorists address intimacy in their own ways in that the ultimate goal seems to be for individuals to be able to share safe and healthy intimacy with their family unit while maintaining and experiencing their own feelings. However, Whitaker distinguishes himself from the others in that he is less interested in interactional patterns as he is in experiencing and expressing emotions in the present. Though seemingly different in their approaches, it’s possible to make further connections between Haley and Minuchin’s focus on family structure and members’ ability to navigate these systems, and Bowen and Whitaker’s focus on

There has been some recent argument against the current understanding of the place of relationships in psychotherapy. While most theories argue that relationships are important or even essential to good mental health, other theorists claim that the way relationships are conceptualized in these theories is insufficient (Slife & Wiggins, 2009). Most of these theories conceptualize the individuals first, and then talk about the way these individuals relate. Relationships are often understood as two or more independent self-contained individuals interacting (Slife & Wiggins, 2009). An alternative way to look at relationships is offered by relational psychoanalysts and other theorists, though again it should be noted that