Family Arranged Marriages in India Versus Self-Arranged Marriages in the United States

Marriage practices vary across cultures. Every culture has its own way of conducting marriage according to their traditions and customs. Most cultures share common customs and practices, while some cultures have unique practices. Marriage refers to a social union agreed upon by the couples to unit as spouses. The union of couples implies sexual relations, permanence in union, and procreation. This research paper focuses on comparing marriage practices in American and Indian culture. There is significant difference between the two cultures in marriage practices.

Arranged marriage is found in various cultures and countries around the world, including Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East; having an arranged marriage is thought of as an Afghani tradition and has been a part of life for many families. The practice of arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages; it can create more family power and give more financial security. Sadly being forced into a marriage can disrupt the independence of the engaged, most women stop their education when they become engaged resulting in many women being illiterate. This makes it impossible for them to be successful without depending on their husbands. Arranged marriage is found in many cultures throughout the modern world, though in a lot of cases it results in a happy family it can also be very limiting on women and often girls are married before they can give consent.

ReferencesAugust, P. (2005, October). Arranged Marriages in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriageBowman, H. & Spanier, G. (1978). Modern Marriage. McGraw-Hill Book Company.

In the book, Arranged Marriage, by Chitra Divakaruni there are multiple stories that demonstrate arranged marriages from within the Indian culture. In some cases, arranged marriages work out better than others. However, in the short stories in her book, most don’t work out positively. In the short stories, “The Bats” and “The Disappearance”, the arranged marriages don’t work out. Chitra Divakaruni’s viewpoint on arranged marriages is clearly negative, due to violence, and the effect on children.

Marriage is described as two people as partners in a personal relationship. There are two typical ideas of marriage that we know today. The first one that comes to mind is the one we all know, based on love, but there is another one that some may not even know of and its arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is not typically in our culture we know but in different cultures arranged marriages are their normal marriage. Throughout this essay, I will discuss the importance of realizing cultural diversity and how we apply the perspectives we gain from cross-cultural comparison to our own experience using central concepts about marriage to compare and contrast marriage in several cultures.

For many people, an arranged marriage is not a great choice to choose a life partner, but it is highly recommended in Hindu culture. In the speech “Finding Love in Arranged Marriages” on Tedx Talks, Omar Durrani shared, like other people who have Hindu religion, he was put under pressure to have arranged marriage by his mother. She believed in arranged marriage, which marriage comes first and love comes after marriage. She contacted matchmaker service to find a suitable woman for him. The matchmaker found many women who were interested in Omar, but Omar was not interested in any of them until he heard about one woman that her mother found for him. Although he did not believe that arrange married would work for him, he still agreed to start talking on the phone with the woman. Surprisingly, he found that they shared many common interests. Finally, they decided to meet each other, so Omar took a flight from Miami to Chicago for the meeting. The first feeling they had for each other was that they made for each other. They engaged in the next day after the first meeting and married one year later. Like Omar’s family, most Indian people prefer arranged marriage since they believe that will be the best to start their marriage life. Arranged married may be a short or a long process that depends on each situation. While love marriage is found when people love each other and get married, arranged marriages happen when parents decide who will be their children’s life partner. People with Hindu religion believe that arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages since of its typical features of the process of selecting a life partner.

Certainly, arranged marriages have been a life line of Indian culture. Gender does not hinder marriage in their culture

The parents of a bride and groom made the decision as to who their child would marry with no consideration of their child’s wishes or needs. These arranged marriages were created more like business decisions than romantic unions of men and women. These marriages were usually arranged between a bride and groom who came from families with like economic backgrounds. (Tamura, E., 1997) Additionally, these arranged marriages were not harmonious unions.

The source culturalindia.net states that “a marriage is termed as arranged when it is arranged by people other than those getting married”. Arranged marriages in India have been around

In modern culture and fully developed nations, the ideology of an arranged marriage is a foreign concept, but in reality the global percentage of arranged marriages is 60 (Toledo 1). Although the majority of these arranged marriages occur in Asian countries such as India and China, this type of matrimony should also be prominently implemented into the society of modernized nations like the United States. Before arranged marriages can completely fuse into industrialized cultures, one must fully understand the concept of an arranged marriage. As commonly thought, parents do not always select the marital partners in arranged marriages; spouses can also be chosen by a community, elders, matchmakers, or religious leaders ("Arranged...

From the perspective of a Utilitarian, one would argue that arranged marriage is both ethical and unethical. A utilitarian decides whether an action is good or bad based on the results that bring the greatest good to the greatest number of people affected by the action. The so called good can be defined as “happiness.” In India, places where arranged marriage are very common because it is part of their culture. Therefore in a Utilitarian eyes it would be ethical to get married if it were part of your culture and geographical location because betraying your culture would do more harm and some forms of happiness are superior to others. Many couples find themselves to be part of happy marriages like we saw in the article What It’s Really Like To Have An Arranged Marriage. Sandaya, the bride, who lived in India had an arranged marriage set by her parents. She felt honored to have done this for her family and knew it was a

Arranged marriages are set up by friends and family, and sometimes by a matchmaker that sets up the marriage. But the bride’s father has the most responsibility in arranging marriage for his daughter, and is the one who approaches the father of a potential bridegroom. Important aspects when considering a possible match are financial status, caste, and the bride and bridegrooms horoscopes matching. The role of astrology is important, and if a Hindu priest finds that the horoscopes of the potential spouses do not match, they will not marry, and must begin the search all over again (Livermore, 2009). India’s view of marriage first and then love is very different from the Western view where love comes before marriage, seems to be successful. The

Most girls in these circumstances are younger than me. If I had to have my parents choose my lifelong partner, I would change my name and move to Mexico. If our society was like India’s people, there would be no way I could settle for that conformity. There is no law saying the girls must follow through with marriage; however, whether they would like to or not, girls still do it for their parents and tradition. Indians do not see arranged marriages as being wrong. They think that “brides are the embodiment of that family's honor and pride” (“Arranged Marriages and Dowry”). But, us in the West see this tradition as an unnecessary custom. Rejection from your own blood, your own friends, and your own people, is not right. No dowry in the world could pay for love. Love is an emotion worth more than all of the money in the

Often times, the words arranged marriage evokes fear or even anger in one’s heart. For many people, especially those with a western mindset, the liberty to choose one’s own spouse remains utterly important and even a human right in our society today. While I strongly believe that every human owns the freedom to choose whether or not they want to marry someone, I also believe misconceptions form in some mind’s when the words, “arranged marriages” are spoken. While not all arranged marriages remain just and fair in the world today, marriages guided by parents with willing children often produce healthy and lasting marriages. Although weak arranged marriages occur as well, strong arranged marriages also exist. I believe that arranged marriages often stay robust because good parents know their children well, because arranged marriages often reflect two people with the same values, and lastly because these marriages often start with solid foundations.

In Asia, arranged marriages are well known. In many cultures it is honorable for a father or mother to choose and approve of their child's mate. Sometimes, parents are introduced to the candidate by spending a few moments chatting before reaching a final decision. In arranged marriages, there is also a matchmaker who discusses the marriage with the spouses' parents beforehand. They talk about financial security, culture, and other cultures' perception of the marriage. Even though the candidates are from the same country, many live in different caste systems. Religion and divorce are also discussed. The following explains the different facets of arranged marriages in more detail.