How My Grandmother's Death Impacted Me

My great-grandmother was the matriarch of my family. When I was in seventh grade, around thirteen years old, she passed away due to breast cancer. This misfortune created an extremely difficult time for me because, not only was I adjusting to the environment of junior high, but many other issues were occurring in my life; this was the third death that I was having to deal with. Unfortunately, one of the previous deaths (that I was still trying to hurdle through and come to terms with), had occurred almost exactly a year before the passing of my great-grandmother. The second death that I had gone through occurred only one or two months before my great-grandma has passed. All of this turmoil created numerous internal conflicts for me, but also taught me a key lesson to keep note of, for the rest of my life.

One night in January, I couldn't sleep and it was 4am and then out of the blue I got a call from my sister.. At first all I had was questions, “What do you mean his organs are shutting down?” And then she said it-- grandpa’s dying. She called telling me that our grandpa, who was battling cancer on and off for eight years,

It was near the end of winter 2005, when my grand-aunt suddenly fell ill. In a short period of time her illness worsened and the doctors informed my family, my grand-aunt only had a couple of months to live. The news was devastating to my family as we watched a vivacious, independent, and outspoken woman, who enjoyed shopping, reading mystery novels and spending time with family become very weak and confined to her bed. Instead of placing my grand-aunt in a hospice facility, my family and I, with the assistance of a hospice nurse cared for my grand-aunt in her home until her passing.

Personally, I believe wisdom is defined as a quality that some people possess of having experience and knowledge in general things throughout life. These people found their chi (I guess you could say) in life and are comfortable in the state they are currently living. Before I started this interview assignment, I had hopes of learning more about the life of my grandma and the difference of living from the 1930s to 2017. From the very beginning, when I reading through the syllabus, I knew I was going to interview my grandma. My grandma is the relative who I am closest to, besides my dad. Yes, I would have interviewed my dad because he would be 70, but sadly he had passed away. I thought this would be perfect for me and my grandma because, though I hear so many stories all the time, I never get tired of listening. The interview was arranged at her house, over a cup of coffee and cookies. The questions I thought of pertained to my grandma’s life (i.e. how did you meet grandpa and how long did you wait until marriage; what influenced your life decisions and why…etc.). I developed these questions regarding my grandma’s life because I didn’t want to make it like an interview, so I arranged the questions to sort of tell a story.

Cancer doesn’t win. Cancer isn’t the victor, it’s the loser. Cancer’s purpose it to test our strengths, to see how far it can take us before we quit, its all a battle, and how it turns out in the end is completely by our view. People don’t lose to cancer, it losses to us. It’s all about how we fought it off. It should be about how we won it. For only four years in my life I have been able to speak to my grandma Judy, she died when I was only a child, so meeting her is only a few memories of many years ago. My Grandma was short, red curly hair, and a woman of many victories. I know that she was a true hero, victor, and a winner of many things, but most importantly, she was influential in life. She realized it wasn’t about winning it all, but overcoming her problems and adversities to reach her goals.

Who in your life has caused you to become a better person? For some people it's a parent who has shaped you since the day that you were born. For others it's the stranger who always says hi to you when you see them on the street. Maybe it’s the couple down the block who struggles to make ends meet, but always has a positive attitude. It may even be the person who has hurt you the most. These people make us a better person even when we least expect it. I never realized the effect my grandmother had on my life until she stopped recognizing me.

After a while of sitting in my grandparents living room mindlessly playing with my toys I decided to get up. I walked towards the commotion going on in the small hallway connecting the living room to the kitchen. The gathering of people consisted of my mom, dad, grandpa, and grandma. Curious about what was going on I walked over to the group. I reached my mom and looked up to see that her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. I looked over to my dad and his face, like everyone else's, was grim. During this time I kept hearing one repeating word, cancer. I started to listen more closely to the conversation going on around me because even at the age of seven I knew that cancer was bad news. I listened intently and heard my mom explain how she had colon cancer.

My grandmother never really felt like herself for about a year and a half, but every time she called her doctor they would call her in prescription drugs to take and they would hope that it would work. Over time the medicine did not work so my grandmother ended up having to go to the hospital because she had lost nearly sixty pounds. After the doctors ran a bunch of tests, they found out that the weight loss happened because of diabetes. Later that day, the doctors came back saying that she not only had diabetes, but they also diagnosed her with lung cancer. Considering all the weight that she had lost, the doctor could not do much for her lung cancer. They said that if she had not lost that much weight,

For instance, Huttman asks, “Did we really believe that we had a right to force “life” on a suffering man who had begged for the right to die?” (344). Although, I do disagree with the Phil Donahue Show’s audience calling Huttmann a murderer, because she did not kill anyone at all. She only let Mac die when his body said that the time was right. Huttman experiences his death, “Then there was one soft sigh and I felt his hands go cold in mine. “Mac?” I whispered, as I waited for his chest to rise and fall again” (344). Since Huttman expresses concern for Mac, and she does nothing to cause his death proves to me that she is far from a murderer. Especially considering that she comforted and sympathized him.

The summer of 2005 was supposed to be great, I had survived my freshman year of college, and things were starting to get better until the phone rang at 2 AM on June 20th. All I could hear was my mom weeping. It was my uncle from India; he had phoned to let my mom know that her sister had been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. My mom and I left for India the next day to be with her. For nearly nine months, my aunt complained of unremitting dull lower abdominal pain, lack of appetite, and unexplained weight gain. She was under the care of physicians at her local clinic regarding her health concerns; however, her case was not investigated thoroughly on time. My aunt and I were really close and seeing her spirit and body so broken down

I cannot describe what I felt when my mom told me she had cancer. I was sad, I was scared; I did not even know if I felt anything. My mom, however, stayed positive and hopeful while I stayed quiet and seemingly apathetic. There was an obvious ironic contrast between the emotional state of me and the woman who actually had cancer.

The experience that I had with dying is when I was caring for my grandmother. My grandmother was very ill and I was the only one to take care of her, since I was the only girl in our family. In our culture the girls have to take care of their grandmothers and the boys have to take care of their grandfather. I had to take the responsibility of my dying grandmother, and I was very young and a teenager. At my age it was very hard to cope with the situation and very stressful l. I never thought I could see someone dying in front of my eyes, but my grandmother was the first loved one to go forever. I remember falling down and I fainted and found myself the next day in the morning.

It was a Monday night; I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just completed my review of Office Administration in preparation for my final exams. As part of my leisure time, I decided to watch my favorite reality television show, “I love New York,” when the telephone rang. I immediately felt my stomach dropped. The feeling was similar to watching a horror movie reaching its climax. The intensity was swirling in my stomach as if it were the home for the butterflies. My hands began to sweat and I got very nervous. I could not figure out for the life of me why these feelings came around. I lay there on the couch, confused and still, while the rings continued. My dearest mother decided to answer this eerie phone call. As she

Many turning points have occurred in my life, but I would say one really sticks out for me. This was when my granddad died in 2010. I talked about this event and how it affected my life in a thought piece earlier this year, but I thought this would be a good opportunity to elaborate on such a life changing event.

“I shouldn’t be sad, I should be happy.” That’s the thought that suddenly just came to me as I pondered over my grandma’s death. That’s right, I somehow came to the weird conclusion that I should be happy about my grandma’s death. I know it sounds weird, crazy even. I think so too to this day, but it just feels so right, it feels like the truth - a truth I can explain well.