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Humorous Best Man Speech Essay

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Humorous Best Man Speech

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful.

I'd also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned.

When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for help. I must confess I was perplexed by some of the things I was expected to do:

Help the groom dress. Thanks, but no thanks. If he hasn't learned by nor then he never will.
That his shoes are tied.
That his face and hair are “in order” (God
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His teenage years can be defined as several years of drinking and sleeping in the bathroom, cuddled up to the toilet bowl. It’s good to know that some thing never change.

At school, he tried many sports to no avail. When he tried rugby he was told his tackle was not big enough. He tried cross country running but could not stand the pace and when it came to soccer he was useless in every position. Whether the bride can confirm those three things for us I dont know, but I hope she has more luck.

Now, of course, I’m not the only person in this room that he knows well. In fact, this place is stuffed with people that have an opinion of him. So, I thought it would be an idea to find out what some of you think of the groom. and share your thoughts at his wedding. Over the last few weeks I've been approaching his friends and colleagues. This is what just a few of you said. His boss (and I can quote him now as he's not here) said: "Working with him is like working with a God. He's rarely seen, he's holier than thou, and if he does any work it's a bloody miracle...”

Another absent colleague, rang me the other day and said: "He's really looking forward to the wedding, and especially the honeymoon, he’s been going on about it all week. One thing I can’t understand though, is why he's taken to wearing fake tan to the office.”

Unfortunately, he has also been described by someone
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