most days jungkook didn't have energy to do anything. he couldn't text his friends to tell them he was fine, couldn't even answer his mother if she decided to stop ignoring him.
the only thing he did was lock the door to his room and stay in his bed the rest of the time.
everything was too much for him, sometimes. the secrets he kept from his best friends crushed him under their weight.
all the secrets made him feel like a monster. couldn't tell anyone about it, they would just hate him more than he hated himself and he wouldn't be able to handle that.
there wasn't a reason for him not to hate himself. he was an incredibly bad person. had sex with others for money if his mother used all the money for drugs, tried to make other people join
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wasn't good enough, didn't hurt right.
do it.
"i don't want to."
do. it.
he started to hit himself in his side. careful at first. scared of what it would feel like, scared he would like it. then harder, angrier. he clenched his other fist too, tears rolling down his cheeks, the pain making him whimper. he didn't want to, but he had to.
he stopped after what felt like forever, his whole body shaking. "fuck," he whispered. he tried to wipe the tears of his face, but his hands were shaking so much he couldn't do it. his side hurt, a lot. it hurt good.
he got out of his bed standing on shaky legs. he pulled up his shirt to see that his skin was red all around the area where he had been pinching and hitting himself. it would start swelling about now.
he sighed and sat down on the bed again, pinched at some older bruises on his arm.
he sucked. was really pathetic.
having to hit himself until bruises formed was crazy, wasn't it? another sigh escaped him. something had to be mentally wrong with him, but if he admitted that out loud then his friends would send him to a mental hospital or something, and he couldn't afford
He was morally blind. He couldn’t face up to the wrong things that he did.
He would sometimes go days without speaking to anyone but his dog, Jazzer. He was never good enough for his parents, and while they were never physically abusive, their treatment certainly took a toll on him mentally. It didn’t help that Bull ridiculed him, hit him, and called him names at school. It just didn’t seem like he had much to live for so he tried to overdose on sleeping pills when his parents fled to Europe for vacation without him.
“At about the same time, I was comforting the man who had been hit… He wanted to hold my hand because it was hurting him so bad.”
his life and the events leading up to his isolation from society and, eventually, his death. He’s a
rebelliousness was another sure thing that caused him to believe in himself too much. He got
Instead he got scared of himself growing too close to anyone. His bitterness is evidence and is so powerful that human emotional connections made him a fleeing coward.
He lived in constant fear of his surroundings and didn’t lead an exactly normal life. When he finally decides to get out of his predicament and stages his own death, he
That made him change a lot because he didn't feel wanted in the society. Why didn't he just man up and talk about the problems face to face with his dad? He wasn't that type of person. He didn't feel wanted from family and society that is why he ran away and didn't care if anyone missed him since he would've thought that it was fake love all along like from his father.
He looked at it for a good five seconds. His facial expression changed into dread. He slowly bent his fragile knees and leaned forward. I couldn’t feel the pain, but it was clearly visible in his eyes. He groaned. He reached for the keys with his right hand. It’s hard to describe through words, but the sight of his doing that gave me pain. Emotional pain.
He was often punished when his brothers weren 't, even if they were doing the same thing. He was able to be adventurous but instead was stuck with guilt. Throughout his years he also faced the emotional toll of abuse in many ways. One way his mother did this was by no longer calling him by his name, and not referring to him as a human. Dave states in his book, “that death would be better than my prospects for any kind of happiness. I was nothing but an “it”.” Children and adolescents go through a stage where they are trying to figure out who they are. With an abusive mother who takes away your identity it would be really hard to figure out who you are and you would be confused on what roles to play. Erikson’s stages emphasize family and culture. Erikson noted that psychological conflicts, especially in childhood within families, affect people lifelong.
Their words haunted him for his entire life. “Their words tattooed in his veins.” He became desperate to feel love, pain, or any emotion at all besides apathy. He did many harmful things, mainly to himself, to achieve his desire; “He battered his tiny fists to feel something, wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.” The result of their actions and words being when he grew up he became, what his parents referred to him as, a monster.
He was abused by his father constantly which made him think that he had no one beside him to lead him through the correct path, it was shown in this quote "And always the darkness just wrapped itself around me, black and bitter. Due to the fact
feeling of being isolated where he lived in a world where everyone was like him.
He struggled to find comfort for his back, and couldn’t help wincing. He heaved a sigh of agony and placed his head on the pillow, lied on his back, rather uncomfortably, closed his beady eyes and speechlessly waited for that moment to arrive. Heavy footsteps ware approaching. Their shoes clap rhythmically on the floor.
The hatred he received after using black magic to create hailstorms and destroy a house led him to change. Receiving payback from his horrible aunt and uncle did not seem to be the right choice for him after he committed the acts. However, leading a peaceful life that