Looking At Me Narrative

It hurts, everything hurts and a ringing sound in my ears overpowers all else. The last thing I remember I was sitting in a cramped plane, watching the other boys sing songs. I tried joining in but I get shy and hide behind the scar on my face. Now I lay in a dead pile of leaves in unfamiliar surroundings while light beams in my eyes through the vines in the trees.

Waiting for the feeling, something to hit me. It became clear this would not happen until I fell asleep. After being awake for almost 4 hours, my eyes really couldn't stay open any longer. Something began to happen, I couldn't tell what. I was falling, falling again. I landed, right in the middle of reality, and nowhere. The voice came on stronger this time, much louder. It was almost like it began to yell. "Can you hear the rumble that's calling?" The voice said again. Despite the loud volume of the voice, it was assuring. It made me feel comfortable. Even though I was in some sort of weakened state, I always felt better here than I did in the real world. Something was telling me that I just needed to be freed. Whether it was the voice inside my head, or some other voice, I felt it. The voice was so showing so much empathy, it felt inhuman, but at the same time it felt so human. It felt real, I could never describe the way it made me feel, how it moved me. I wanted to yell out, with everything I had. Part of me knew it just wasn't right, I had to wait for it to come to me. I knew that everything I wanted would come soon. I know what you're thinking, how was I not freaked out? It's simple, I didn't have room for that kind of thinking. I was so relieved to feel this way, it was a feeling of release. It's like that feeling when you get into a hot tub. The deeper you get, and the longer you stay, the more your body is at

When I got older about sixteen of age I then began to understand the selfish cold place around me, it was full of hatred and pain. I tried to look through the rough side of things and make things a better place in my mind, listen to music and look deep within my environment and see the beauty in this place. When I was with my friends we decided to go to a party to hang out with our local friends, have a good time and catch up. When the party was done I wouldn’t expect my whole life to change. I always dreamt my close friends and I would some day get away from this negative place and be free to give back to our community. All of this was about to change in a flash of an eye. When we arrive by our apartment building complex; a car pulls up and three men come out yelling at another group of men in the park than before I know it the sound of gunshots filled the air. In fear for my life

As my car climbed the hill, my heart sunk into my stomach. I parked as far away from my friends as I could and quickly exited the car, not once looking at them. Now it was every man for himself. Emerging into the open air, I suddenly became aware of myself. I could feel my puffy, blood-shot eyes. My palms became slimy. My fingers clinched into a fist and my nails dug into my skin. My sight blurred and my tunnel of vision tried to focus on the front door. Every step seemed more awkward than the last. Eyes pierced me from all sides. I felt naked. My body trembled like a sheep in the midst of wolves.

Hi, there first name is Christina, last name is Cepeda. It's a pleasure to finally meet you! You should know that the only reason you were able to recognize me is because I am 5 feet, 7 inches tall, not skinny, more on the average side (I'd like to think). I have long naturally curly hair, somedays it's flat ironed straight or up in a bun but on this particular day, the hair will definitely be straight, face full of make-up, and I will be wearing glasses because I have to look my best and nicely dressed, when I first meet you!

When you’re asleep, the pain stops. There are no thoughts or ideas that run through your brain, you are emotionless. I wish I could feel like that now, all the thoughts start to get to you’re head. At times I wish that I could end it, just to stop the pain. But I need to stay alive, to make sure they’re all okay. Afterwards, I can do as I like but right now, they are my main priority. I can't lose them, they are my one and only family. If they’re gone, then i'm nobody. I just need to go, the longer I wait the more I put myself at risk. Even though I hate myself for what i’ve done, I still need to stay

I thought to myself, I just was a little girl who loved having her freedom. When I realized that I was in a hospital bed, I began to cry my happiness went away. I started giving up on myself because I knew that I was heartbroken that could not enjoy my life anymore. I just wanted to feel the fresh air, eat my favorite food, which is plantains and fish, and listen to the bird sing instead of staying in a bed all day. When I touched my face, I felt the heat. The only thing I can taste in my mouth the hot flames. I went back to see the doctor and I found out that I had damaged scalp on my head and that I had to cut my

It was dark and alone and I felt the need to cry. One by one everyone I have ever loved showed up. My mom, my sister, my late girlfriend, my grandma… I could go on. Their eyes were on me and only me. I was the only stimulus in the room. The yelled at me. I was irrational . I had put them in a situation where they didn’t even know me anymore. I was the monster under the bed and I was the reason why people were scared. They yelled so loud to the point where I didn’t even know if they were screams anymore.

Most people stopped smiling. Screams were heard. Dancing stopped. Why were people screaming? All I heard was the beat of the music. People began running towards the front door, into the bathroom, behind the bar. Anywhere they could hide. I stood on my tiptoes to see the commotion, A guy was holding a gun, shooting us. Bodies dropped rapidly. My heart sunk. Where was Travis? Kendra? I couldn’t find my best friends. Still on my tiptoes, I looked around. I saw Kendra. Then a crowd of people engulfed her and I could no longer see her. I hoped that my friends would be okay before I rushed into the bathroom. A small pile of people cowered together upon hearing the bathroom door swing open. They thought I was him. Once seeing I held no weapon, they yanked my t-shirt sleeve and pulled me into the pile of crying, shaking, scared friends. I pulled out my phone, clicking it on then opening the thread of messages between my mom and I. Quickly, I typed a brief explanation of what was happening and where I was. I sent an ‘I love you both’ before shoving my phone back in my pocket. I gripped a stranger’s hand tightly, tears rushing down my face like a waterfall. A sob choked in my throat, causing my breath to hitch, letting out a hiccup. A stranger hugged me closer. The shouts wouldn’t leave my head. I heard them all over, I heard the shrieks, the calls for help. Why is this happening? was all I could think. I squeezed my eyes shut, throwing my hands over my ears,

I wondered how my life would have unfolded had I not been so sick these many years. Who would I have been if only there had been biological dentists to remove my wisdom teeth when I was twenty? Where would I be? What would I be doing with my life now? Would I still have fainted and fallen on my face which ultimately caused me to need root canal surgery? Strong emotions of sorrow and grief began to surface. I allowed myself just to feel and observe as my body shivered in order to release these emotions one by one. I focused on my breath as I slowly inhaled and exhaled to the rhythm of the twinkling

My heart felt as if it was ready to jump out of my chest and go shoot itself.  How will I ever get over the death of my parents they were my everything. To walk in to find their cold rotting bodies, was not something I've ever imagined happening.   As I walked into

My screams were literally sucked out of my lungs and suddenly we were gone from the alley in a brilliant white flash. A second later I was in a dark void, I felt as though I was being squashed flat between two buildings despite the emptiness of the place and couldn’t breath. Any second now and I knew I would be dead. I clawed at my throat, my eyes bulging from my head and suddenly--

I remember that it hurt, looking at her hurt. A beautiful line, no doubt, but I mustn’t take credit. I remember seeing her at her best. I remember telling myself that she would get better. I remember seeing what she would post on Facebook and pretending that I thought she wasn’t slowly killing herself. I remember seeing the blades sitting on her desk and throwing them in the trashcan and acting like they didn’t hold any significance, only to repeat the process the next weekend. I remember hearing her stories about falling out of that damned tree and telling myself, “Oh yeah. Those scars could totally be scrapes from the tree bark.” I remember ignoring the brokenness of her smile. I remember not doing anything about it, and I remember foolishly telling myself that it was all in my head.

It started with a chill, each vertebrae vibrating one by one up my spine. Then the heat, my face flush and palms clammy. I could never keep up with my breathing, for it seemed as though each time I breathed out, I needed more air almost immediately. Soon, my mind was flooded with unsettling images, a new one appearing nearly every second, each worse than the last. Everything that I found comfort in was now an enemy. When will this end? My body could not keep up with the trembles and I could not resist the urge to scream. Was this room always so small? My eyes grew indecisive, darting across the room, until the capillaries within them bulged so greatly that I clenched my eyelids shut. Then, a long, deep breath.

     Imagine yourself lying on an operating table, motionless, quiet. Above, you notice people standing over you. You try to speak but the words just cannot come out. Your arms feel as if they are plastered to the table. You begin to stand up but feel as if weights are strapped to your back and you are bound to the table. Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your midsection. In and out, you see a surgeon slicing your body open with a scalpel. Every motion the masked person makes is as if you are being torn apart from the inside out. One would hope this would simply be a nightmare and they will wake up and everything will be fine. In this instance, this person will