Monologue About Eating Away

I wander the cliffs of the rebel base for hours and hours after my chat with Samuel. Who knows, maybe I’ve been done here for days now, though I doubt that…I constantly whisper and murmur to myself, running over different situations where everything works out in my favor. But none of them do and I know what I have to do. That doesn’t stop these conflicting feelings from eating away at me. I’ve already made my decision, despite trying to figure a way out of it. It wasn’t a hard decision.
I laugh dryly.
Decision?
This isn’t a choice. This is an ultimatum.
I never returned to the mess hall to finish breakfast. I couldn’t face Jensen right now. Or anyone else. They wouldn’t understand and would only make this bad situation worse. I just need …show more content…

I bite my bottom lip, my sorrow and grief resurfacing. I grab his arm and pull him into a tight hug. He doesn’t pull away, saying he’s fine. He’s not as stubborn as Jensen or me. He knows he’s not fine. He welcomes the comfort, softly sobbing into my shoulder and holding me tight.
“It’s okay,” I begin after rubbing circles on his back. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it will be. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe next week or maybe in a year, but one day, it will be okay. You will get through this.”
We’ll all get through this.
He nods against my shoulder, before pulling away from me with a hand on my shoulder to keep himself steady. His eyes are red, but he isn’t crying anymore, which is a good sign. It means he can get over this. He will get over this because he’s done it before with his parents and his sister. “I know,” he breathes, shakily. “And thank you for not leaving his side.”
I smile weakly. “It’s the least I could do.”
“They already took his body and burned it. I didn’t even get to see him,” he says, staring off in the distance.
“Trust me, Flich, you didn’t want …show more content…

“Can and will,” I smirk. “Anyways, why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not nervous.”
I laugh. “Yeah you are. You’re sweating and your hands are shaking. Wait, are you afraid of Zoey?”
“No, I am not.”
“You so are. Why? She seems nice and obviously interested.”
“Yeah and if you didn’t notice, I grow up with only my sister and an old man. The few women I’ve met were either capable of killing me with a single blow, or were so beat and broken, they would run at the sight of me. So when it comes to women, my skills are a little lacking,” he explains, running a hand through his hair to fix its wildness.
“You’ll be fine. She’s seems harmless. I doubt she’ll bite,” I say and then I pause, leaning back on my heels and throwing him a look. “Or maybe she will.”
“That’s not funny, Kal.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I encourage him. “She’s clearly interested in you and if you have any problems throw Skye her way.”
“She is?” Flich echoes, clearly not listening the first time I said it. He glances over at Zoey who smiles and waves, still playing with Skye. He awkwardly waves back.
“See you later, Flich,” I say with the roll of my eyes before yelling at Zoey. “He’s all