My Experience In My Life

Sixteen years old can be a very confusing age in any person’s life. We’re expected to act like adults but get treated like children, the age we begin to prepare ourselves for our last year of high school, the year we start to look into colleges we want to attend and what it is we want to do with our lives. But for me it was the age when my parents thought they would lead separate lives.

When I heard the engines starting, my eyelids collapsed and took slow breaths to not hyperventilate . I was nine. I inhaled sharply, and my hands gripped my mom’s arm tight as fear of death washes over me. I don't want to die. God don't let me die. Next thing I knew, we were high up in the sky. I looked out the window, wispy clouds dancing in the air. July 2, 2009 was when I boarded the flight to the U.S. As the plane skidded to a halt on the runway, I knew my life would be different.

I was used to visiting family in the hospital; for the first part of my life, I spent nearly every day with my grandmother and great grandmother to watch my great have her dialysis done. I was around three when she passed on, and at the time I hadn’t realized the severity and high stakes that a hospital can suggest. I would later discover, at the age of thirteen, the urgency and pain that hospitals can cause when my grandfather Allison passed away. Seeing him hooked up to all of the strange machines and devices that solely could prolong his life has been one of the most tragic and saddening experiences of my life. Witnessing some of his final moments has taught me to value life and is ultimately what has driven me into my current path in life.

Suddenly, I was awakened and violently thrown towards the front of the airplane. My eyes shot open and I blinked three or four times to adjust my dry, out of place contact lenses. The light bothered my sensitive eyes but I was too nervous to even think about shutting them. I spread my arms and legs creating a human starfish, contracted my stiff muscles, and let out a tiny grunt. I stood up from the same seat I was acquainted with for nine hours. When I rose to my feet, something felt strange, something felt different, something felt out of the ordinary. I quickly realized, I was standing at the London Heathrow Airport about to embark on, what I originally thought would be, the most miserable trip of my life.

As time passed, it seemed to fly faster and faster. Soon, it was the summer between my sophomore and junior years and I had an abundance of plans for how to spend my summer. One event stood out compared to all of the others. It would greatly influence my life and shape my thoughts to the way they are today. Reminiscing about the events of my past, my journey to the glamorous mountains of Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico to hike for a week is indisputably the greatest memory of my life so far.

As I walked to my cold seat at my desk, I stared at the teacher who was lecturing us, I was in a trance of wandering thoughts.Had this reverse in my life's polarity really benefited me? I noted it to be a mixed blessing. Why had God put me in this funny position anyway? I sometimes felt so alone in what I was going through. My classmates just can't understand what's been going through my life.To them my change in character meant very little or practically nothing. I have already felt completely isolated once in my life.

It was my junior year on a regular Thursday afternoon in my social studies class. Or I thought it was a regular day. I had a boyfriend at the time and I was in love. Or so I thought. He would always walk me to my classes and be there when I needed him to be. So this day, I woke up to the sun shining through my window and the birds singing a song. It was going to be a good day. I got dressed and went to the bus stop, because I wasn’t driving at the time, and waited for the bus and got on. I arrived at school about five minutes after I got on the bus because I did not live that far away from my High School.

I wake up to see it’s only around 7 AM, a considerably earlier time than usual for me wake up since it's a weekend during my junior year. As soon as I exit my bedroom I see my mom, at this point she had been having a hard time breathing for a few days already and today it looks worse. I can see her struggling and gasping for breaths almost. I decided to sit next to her and she says something along the lines of "I think I have no choice but to go to the hospital" I was shocked because she never goes to the hospital even when she feels horrible. The day before was the day that my mom had gotten paid so she hands me her purse and money when the ambulance arrives.

Early morning glaze slips through the drapes, reflecting off the crystal collection that's rooted on my windowsill. The specular reflection of light urges me to open my eyes, drawn to the washed out rainbows projecting onto the pristine white walls. I sit up. With feet lightly resting on the carpeted floor I begin to feel energy rolling through my veins, waking up my toes, my calves, into my stomach, up through my chest, reaching the span of my arms and deep into my mind. Taking in the first breath of day through a long winded stretch, I begin making my way towards the other side of the room. I stare blankly into what seems like the ocean, deep and belonging to more than one place. The mirror is telling me that my eyes are like bark, dark, earthy and brown. My hair curls like the spiraling spine of the native koru and my winter woolies melt into the lovable curves that are my body. Aging gracefully, some would say, but that isn’t what I would say. I would say I am a misplaced key, one that is desperately desirable yet so easily discarded.

Despite how average my life has been thus far, especially compared to others, I have learned so much. Whether I was faced with minor complications or major decisions, I had much knowledge to gain. Regardless of the outcome of my actions, I simply reflected on what I had to learn and carried on. Because, regardless of whether I like it or not, time will continue forward, even if I’m not. If not my age, then it’s my experiences that define who I’ve grown to become.

Starting in my eleventh-grade year of high school, I never knew all the changes I would experience. I attended Chickasaw High School in Chickasaw, AL. It was a little school, which had about five hundred students in total. I did not live in Chickasaw like all the other kids. I lived about twenty minutes away in Mobile, AL with my dad and stepmom. I went to this school because my stepmom (LaRae) was a teacher there. Also, I was like most girls in high school, I had a high school sweetheart named Michael Matthews. I thought my eleventh-grade year of high school was going to be a great and memorable experience until I found out some horrible news.

The house that built me was a two story, standard suburban number in a low income, minority neighborhood . It wasn’t ideal, there were a few instances of hate crimes against hispanics-it could have been me-, but I had a roof over my head and there was food on the table. 14 years of my life were spent in that house, I spent my days learning from my siblings as they went down the tumultuous road of life. Being the youngest, I followed the example established by my older siblings: stay out of trouble and focus on studying. I knew I would always have their support. They taught me that coming from a low socioeconomic background was not a limitation, but rather an advantage when it came to striving for greatness. Early on I learned that life is not a walk in a patch of roses, it’s an always changing highway with sharp turns and potholes-make the right decisions and you’ll get to your destination .

During my first semester as an undergraduate college student, Santiago, my best friend and boyfriend, passed away. The flight from Denton to Dallas was not quick enough. Just as he took his last breath on the emergency room, the plane landed. At that moment, I had felt as if half of myself had died along with him. Life quickly forced me to encounter a difficult trial in my life; the death of a loved one is one that few learn to overcome. Death is a reality, hardly any truly know how to manage or if it is even manageable. Four years ago, at that exact moment, I had lost hope on dreaming. I refused to continue to dream since I felt it had led to nothing the first time. My dreams of one day spending the rest of my life with Santi had died along with him. At that moment I couldn’t see any dream ever coming true. However, just as life can throw us curve balls, it can also teach us how to aim for them and send them flying away.

I once stumbled across an anonymous quote that said, “Never forget where you come from, but strive for a place you have never been.” As I contemplated the statement’s significance, I was struck by the realization that I cannot point to one place or time in my life to find where I’m from. In the last twenty years of my life, I have lived on both the east and west coast of the United States, and shifted between all sorts of communities across the socio-economic and cultural spectrum. It is through my experiences in these places that I have learned to find strength in my loved ones, have confidence in myself, and look towards the future with anticipation.

In life there are many obstacles a person will face, such as school, work, family and time.