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My Love Letter

Decent Essays

The sole qualification for writing a love letter is that you feel the love and want to express it. That’s the beauty of it. But it would be trite and probably false to say that as an expat, I can love Canada more truly (observe: Gord Downie). I think it interesting, however, that my love for Canada has grown up – become richer, more intentional and more constant – since I left.

I moved with my family from Toronto to New York in 2014 to take a job teaching philosophy – a fantasy job, a world-class city.

The months before leaving were a time of pre-emptive nostalgia, but I thought the pain I was feeling – and its peculiar sweetness – were for the rites of passage ahead. Leaving the city where my children were born. Leaving my friends as they were leaving me, all leaves on the wind of the horrid academic job market. Leaving my student days behind.

All that was real.

I was raised, as is any self-respecting Northwestern Ontarian, to hate Toronto. But, I loved Toronto passionately, completely. My husband, from Montreal and similarly brought up, was equally smitten. Of course, it was hard to leave. Of course, it would be sad. We went back for my convocation at the University of Toronto a few months after moving to New York and it was wrenching – the geographical version of seeing your gorgeous ex too soon after the breakup.

But two things happened that made me realize the bittersweet quality of our departing days wasn’t just about Toronto, or the life we had built there.

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