My Maturing Sequence Of The Age Of 12 And Like Most Other Boy

My life started with my long and hard birth on July 14, 1993. I came into the world with a large scream and was immediately placed into some sort of category. The doctors and nurses took a quick look at me, and pronounced me as a girl. This social label of being a girl was now my gender, which is something I had no say in. Every since that very moment in time where my parents were told I was a girl, I have been treated according to my gender. This meant that my parents automatically dressed me in pink, bought me dollhouses and kitchen sets and threw me Barbie themed birthday parties. Since I was surrounded my whole entire life by these things, it was almost like second nature to think and act the way that I did and still do. My

Growing and making it to puberty has made me more confused on what really am I, questions that will make me confused on who and what truly am. Lately in my life, I have had this relationship with a guy that I really like, but then when I was still in my home country, I also met this girl where I really bonded so much. She was the girl that really made me question my identity, she really has made me question my thoughts and feel more confused on who and what I really am. Sometimes, my mind wouldn’t agree with what my heart would feel, my mind would like her, but I really think that my heart really belongs to that guy. This experience is really confusing and these thoughts made me distracted and lost focus.

Around my middle school years, I knew something about myself was unique, but I could not quite put my finger on it. No one in my family was gay, the word gay was rarely spoken and I did not even know queerness existed. My family lived a very heteronormative lifestyle and I always assumed I would marry a girl and have children. I remember very clearly a day when I was in sixth grade, I was standing in the hallway after class and someone asked me, “are you gay?” I did not know how to react, I did not even know what the word “gay” meant. I immediately replied “NO” as the term gay was always used synonymously with stupid. After school that day, I asked my grandma what it meant to be gay and she described what it mean to be gay. In that moment,

As a child I suffered tremendously with confusion, self hatred, and misunderstanding about my own sexuality. Growing up queer in a small town is never an easy thing. I went through years of denial, and hid all of my thoughts about what I thought could be. I was so muddled in an all too common train of thought that my first conclusion was that I was incapable of loving another human being. Having never experienced honest crushes or any emotional or physical attraction to the opposite sex, I was very frightened for my ability to one day have a family. This thought put me into a mode of paranoia and panic. I began to search any place I could for any other possibility, hoping for some form of medication or therapy to ail me of what I thought was a mental illness. After only a few minutes at the computer, I realized there was nothing wrong with my mind, or capability to love. I am just gay.

Growing up gay during adolescence, a time when a sense of self is being developed, realization of who you truly are, is often not possible for young gay men. Being different, not seeing yourself in characters on television or in books, or knowing a gay couple living in a long-term relationship deepens your doubts of being accepted by your family or friends for who you are on the inside. Hiding feelings of attraction toward other males while trying to cope with male hormones is a challenge. Frequently the choice made is trying to fit in, run with the other boys, pretend you are interested in the opposite sex, and measure up to society’s hyper-masculine ideal. Feeling awkward in a life that feels foreign to

At the age of seventeen, I was in my senior year of high school and I came out as transgender to all of my friends. I had asked all of my friends to call me Shane and to refer to me as a boy, most of them tried as hard as they could to get it right. They felt bad if they didn't get it right but I understood. I told my parents that I wanted to legally change my name and change my gender but my dad said no, my mom had started to come

I was crippled and trapped between choosing what my society had taught me, what was considered to be right, and what I thought was better for me. Prior to summer academy and my immigration to the United States, I had a problem finding my true self in matters like accepting homosexuality. My thoughts and my judgments were corrupt in a sense that my reaction towards such people was solemnly based on what I had been taught. I was born and raised in an environment where homosexuality was considered to be an abomination and unlawful. After immigrating to the United States, I had little to no encounters with people who considered themselves as gay or lesbian etc. Unfortunately for me, upon attending the summer program, I was paired with a person who considered himself to be gay. Initially, every thought I had was filled with ignorance and closed mindedness. But then as time progressed and my grade depended on his effort, I decided to put all the negativity and what I knew aside and tried to learn something from this friend. By the end of the program, I found out that this person was just like me: funny, amiable, sociable and essentially the difference that existed between him and me, was our sexual

So most of them ask me if I am “gay or something” or just not into girls or boys for that matter. This always bugged me because I didn’t care to show them who I was into. When I wear skinny jeans which are most of the time, my friends always makes fun of me or just talks about how skinny my jeans are and how I should change them to something more loose. When I was around other men I was being judged for who I was and showing that I am not walking on the straight line of a real

For the next two years I struggled with the concept that I might actually be gay. By junior I was certain that I was in fact all the things that I was called in middle school, but because of the negative memories I decided it was a secret that I was better of keeping to myself. That was until the spring semester of my senior year in high school when I decided that I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. I would no longer allow people to scare me into being anything other then what I wanted to be I would live my life openly and honestly. On the evening of February 16, 2014 I came out as Gay on literally every social media platform I owned. The following morning, to my surprise, my classmates for the most part greeted me with open arms. As I walked from class to class I received a staggering amount of compliments and support. I was quite frankly overwhelmed when I did get a negative comment and a dozen people rushed to my

One day I realized that I would pay attention to and have crushes on the female characters in tv shows more than the males. I already knew what being gay was and how my family talked about people who didn't sexually identify as heterosexual, so I tried to hide it and I tried to get rid of my tendency to prefer females. I would be hurt and smile through whenever my parents would joke about gay people and call them names without knowing they were hurting someone they cared about.

The cutest gay guy could be single and have a crush on you, but you have to remind yourself of what comes when you become honest. You can go have a secret relationship or talk to your female best friend about him, but some do not have that luxury. What you can do is write in a journal. The payout of alleviating all of your thoughts and ‘forbidden’ desires is worth it when you are in the closet, and your only responsibility with this method is to keep it protected from anyone by hiding it in your dresser, under your bed, or possibly even in your closet. It is not only cathartic to write things down, but you can keep your internal self alive while under this persistent pressure. It will get lonely, so it is okay to indulge in minor activities such as talking to a stranger online, but do not invest too much time into it. You will get too comfortable and once that happens, mistakes happen. If you go with the online method often and remain cautious, ensure your security by deleting your history.

You will get an incredible amount of support from your friends when you come out. No one will dis-own you. You will deprive yourself of happiness forever if you don't feel comfortable being all of yourself. By the time you're 17 years old, you are going to to love yourself to the point of being a little narcissistic because well you're a pretty wonderful person. Lastly, it shouldn't be this hard in the first place, but just know that it honestly gets better.

Many use their middle and high school years as a path of self-discovery, whether they know it or not. Like most people, I spent most of my life feeling I was like everyone else that was around me: cisgender and heterosexual. In middle school, I began to learn that there was even such a thing as having a different sexuality, though at that age it was all being ridiculed in front of me, and I shrugged the whole ordeal off as being something that had never and would

This type of self-doubt and shame I would live with for years. What was wrong with me, who am I, and why was my desires so different from my friends? Growing up I kept pushing these feelings aside to follow the social norm. Often, I had thought about telling my best friend, but the fear of being rejected or outed were way too much for a 14-year-old to deal with. I would go along with my friends, laugh about how cute the new boy was, put posters on my walls of the most popular teen idols, and drool over the cute guy in the mall. Eventually I would detach myself from a lot of my girlfriends and form friendships with guys. Guys were much easier for me to relate to. I didn’t have to talk about

When I was adolescent, I was strongly influenced by my cognitive development, experiences and people around me. First, I experienced typical psychological reactions which adolescences are likely to have: I had a lot of experiments; I had imaginably audience; and I experienced identity crisis. I was a person who had a lot of experiments. Because I was a late bloomer, I was not as feminine as other girls. However, I thought that I should behave more feminine to be an adult. Therefore, I suddenly changed my behaviors. For examples, I changed the way to talk and wear: I used the woman like way to talk and wore very feminine clothes. These experiments often surprised and confused people around me. Naturally, these changes did not last