My Personal Experience In My Life

I went through a rough time period in my life. Sometimes I’m afraid to talk about it, as if I can’t accept the fact that I actually went through it. During these difficult years of my life, I suffered severely from Depression and Anxiety. I had multiple panic attacks in a day and I got to the point of having suicidal thoughts. I felt numb; everyday was a blur to me. I sincerely thought I wouldn’t make it to the age of fifteen.

I remember vividly arriving on the first day of seventh grade not really focused on the school year, but focused on my first day as a Collegiate football player that afternoon. However my new English teacher Mr.Bradshaw, noticed that on the first day and changed my priorities very quickly. The first semester of seventh grade was tough for me, learning how to balance school and sports is a vital part of my growth as a student athlete, which I am still trying to figure out today. Seventh grade was definitely a year where I learned a lot, I learned to not eat my snack in assembly from Mr. Rider, I learned that Bubba’s barber shop gives crummy haircuts, I learned the importance of leadership, and preparation, I have learned to dream, and not make dreams my master, I have learned to think but not to make thoughts my aim. I came out of seventh grade confident in myself and in my abilities, and ready to embark on the last part of my middle school journey, eighth grade. I went into eighth grade knowing my role as a leader of the middle school and ready to embrace it. Now at the end of my eighth grade year, having learned a lot in middle

Since becoming a high schooler, I’ve been able to visit Europe and make attempts to try and speak new languages with strangers. Ive been able to engage in debates and support my opinions and beliefs. I’ve been able to join more programs and have faith in myself… This time a few years ago I would've never been able to accept who i am.

After raising three children and twenty-five years of marriage, I found myself single and alone. Though I have always worked full time and maintained a home, navigating the single life was like a foreign language to me, and I struggled to find my comfort zone. I tried relaxing with friends, but found many of them were on a hunt of their own. Frequenting places that gave the appearance of a social function chalked full of fun, only to find late nights filled with alcohol and shallow connections. Over time, I realized I had lost my inner self. I didn’t know who I was or what brought me joy. I had been a wife and mother for so long, I didn’t know how to entertain myself. At times, I found myself unhappy with the life I created and pondered ways that I could change it. I knew I was different, I knew I needed more than social connections or late nights away from my home. I needed something for myself; to be needed, to have someone to care for, or better yet, a goal.

During the Summer of ***** I made my way to training camp. The sweltering Summer air was unforgiving. It felt like a cloud of heat was just entrapping me wherever I went. I had to travel for what seemed like days to reach the training camp. The buses were infrequent and covered in filth. The insides of those buses were almost twenty degrees warmer than the outside. I literally fought people to be next to the windows because I was sure that if the bullets weren’t going to kill me, the heat exhaustion would. After what seems like years in that awful bus (Mule) I reached the training camp.

During my childhood I was mainly raised by my mom, dad, and my two half brothers ,Matt and Taylor Lambert, who I basically just considered my brothers. I always thought of it this way, because they never really went to there dads house. So us three kids were mainly raised our whole life by the same parents, but somehow we all ended up with completely different personalities. Taylor has always been really book smart and a social butterfly, Matt has always been the jokester and the one who gets in trouble the most, and I’ve been the more quiet one who observers what’s going on. How we all ended up so different is question I wonder about all the time. My mom was never really into to punishments, and neither was my dad. My dad was more into life lessons talks that would go on for hours. If one of us ever got into trouble,which was mainly Matt, my dad would sit all of us down for a life lesson talk. My mom would usually have to intervene and tell my dad that the kids get the point. Otherwise my dad would talk the whole entire day. I believe the reason why Matt was the one who got in trouble the most was because everything he did was loud, and he wasn’t very sneaky. One time he got some fire crackers from a friend and left them in his pocket. So when his pants went through the wash my mom was not to happy. Also, Matt would always make fun of Taylor in the most obnoxious way just so Taylor would fight him. Why he did that I don’t know, because Taylor has always been the stronger

Self doubt is a strong, yet underestimated, emotion. It can squeeze into one’s brain, filling all cracks of empty space like a balloon, pushing out confidence and adventure. Fear drives away the yearning to take risks and leaves one with only the ability to ponder on what could have been. As a child, I sometimes forgot that taking leaps of faith is important to maintain a joyous lifestyle. When around new people I kept my mouth shut and refused to cause any trouble. My mom now claims that this was a good thing, boasting about how I was an easy child. I’d beg to differ.

As time passed, it seemed to fly faster and faster. Soon, it was the summer between my sophomore and junior years and I had an abundance of plans for how to spend my summer. One event stood out compared to all of the others. It would greatly influence my life and shape my thoughts to the way they are today. Reminiscing about the events of my past, my journey to the glamorous mountains of Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico to hike for a week is indisputably the greatest memory of my life so far.

I was two years old and I stayed home with my mother until I was three. Then, my father opened a grocery store. At that time I had no idea what was happening, I just knew I was traveling somewhere and that was going to be a blast. Afterwards, every day I was going to the same place for thirty-seven years, which is part of my life. I always treated my house as a hotel and the store as my first home. All my schools from Preschool through Highschool were walking distance from the store, including my first job, which was three houses down. Being at the store help me mature, since I was a little girl I facing a variety of customers. Some of the customers were sweet and friendly, yet some of them used profanity just because we did not meet their demand. My knowledge of working society came from the store.

The morning dew was still on the ground from the steady drizzle the night before as I glanced outside to inspect the weather. I woke up as usual that morning around three o’clock threw my sweatshirt on, stuffed my bag with a dry towel and suit, grabbed some breakfast, and headed off. I didn't rush this time frantically trying to make it there on time. Instead I walked to my car step by step as my mind slowly turned to mush from the feeling of my life slipping away. I knew that as an millennial older generations saw me as an sheltered child, coddled through all my problems. If only this was true I thought, oh how life would be different. I was being crushed by an ever growing pressure to remain swimming on an national level, but still obtain and function within my two jobs. On top of all of this school was to be my primary focus, but I was unable to effectively operate in my school work because of this consuming monster. To them though it's only two jobs, it's only swimming morning and afternoon, it's only school. To them we aren't teens or young adults but children who are given everything.

I am ordinary. I have lived in amongst poverty and on the edges of war, but I am ordinary. But let me sit you down and share some extraordinary things that I feel have happened in my life.

As I lay in the back seat of the car, asleep I start getting really annoyed by all the restroom breaks we have to take…...Cause I just want to get there. But as my mom always says, “a good adventure takes time to start, and an even better adventure is saddening to end.” But it’s not ending cause it hasn’t even started! That’s when I realized I was daydreaming, and when my cousin Olivia, and grandma woke me up I thought it was for another restroom break, but it wasn’t. . .

Day 60: W-why am I here? I’m not crazy… Besides, it’s not my fault, he still terrorizes me!

My past few years of education were, I think, the best couple of years of my school experience of my life. Teachers and friends affected how I acted, learned and studied in school.

My life started like many American boy lives, easy childhood, fun adventures, and an affinity for cars. This charmed life was soon brought to a halt by the introduction to school. Previously the only social interactions were 30 minutes in the park or other gathering where my parents crossed paths with another couple with a child of similar age. This short meet and greet lead to some very weird situations, one that was most memorable encounters were with this 4-year-old, very thin girl at a library. At this particular library, there was a play structure where the parents could drop their kids so they could browse in peace. Having been dropped off, I was promptly greeted by a girl who said with a straight face, “I have a small ass which is good” which threw me off. Being 3 at the time made the situation even weirder. The other problem was at Three I was looking for the truths of the world so I accepted that a small ass was a good thing along with the other very suggestive things she said at 4-year-old. These truths stayed with me for a minimum of 3 years which includes my first year of school.