Never Gone Research Paper

Death is an inevitable and unfortunate part of life that is often met with fear and despair. Some are afraid of the anticipated pain and the uncertainty of the afterlife, while others can accept their fate and see death as part of a cycle in nature. Most of us would prefer to die in the comfort of our homes with loved ones and under their own terms, however approximately 50% of Americans die in hospitals. And although our lifespans continue to climb due to medication and technology, it is those advancements that keep people from leaving this world as they see fit. No matter how a person dies, there is a sense of loss and grief for those who were surrounded or influenced by this person. It is often very hard to cope

Dying is not a bad thing; sometimes it ends a person’s suffering or allows them to finally be at peace, but those of us who witness this act perceive death as bad because we are left alone, expecting for that one person to still be there when they can’t be.

Growing up, I was introduced to death and funerals. I understood what was happening, but I never knew what was going on. I would ask the questions, “Are they coming back?” or, “ Do they even get a second chance of life?”

My first encounter with death took place when I was seven years old. I remember hearing my grandma over the phone talking to my mom and hearing that my great aunt Linda had passed away. At the time, I thought nothing about her death, I didn’t have the best relationship with her and it didn’t really hit me that she was dead. Everyone in my family seemed shocked because she had good health and had just passed away in her sleep. When I went to the wake, I remember reaching in and feeling her skin and thought how it didn’t really feel like normal skin. The most important thing I can recall is feeling that I felt like she wasn’t really dead that she was going to wake up.

When I was about 12 or anytime before then I didn’t really understand death. Like any little kid I just went through everyday thinking that no matter what tomorrow was guaranteed. I didn’t realize or even think that one day I would never be able to talk to, see, and enjoy somebody. However, one day changed all of this perspective. This day was October 22, 2012. I will never forget this day.

Death is a topic many people prefer not to speak about in their lives since it is deeply personal and painful. As many of us have experienced death in our life journey, I also have had to travel down that path since it does not exclude anyone. Consequently, accepting death as a continuation and a celebration of a human being is genuinely important to me. This matters more to me now ever since I have been my mother’s caretaker for about four years ago after her diagnosis of dementia. Seeing her slowly deteriorate has been a transformative experience that I am still learning to accept graciously. The stigma surrounding our mortality is seen as something to be feared and permanent. As a society, we think about our own death and that of loved ones with sorrow, anguish, and in extreme cases depression as it is viewed as the end of that individual’s life here on Earth. In today’s culture, we see death as the ultimate finale of that person and have anxiety about letting go of the body. Life is more than our bodies and it takes courage to think beyond what our five senses convey to us. How would our outlook and ultimately our acceptance change towards our passing if we thought of it as non-existent? Thinking differently about death would bring awareness to our conscious to recognize it as a continuation and celebration of life.

Feelings of emptiness, loss, depression, guilt and remorse are all synonymous with death. It takes many different routes but eventually has a final destination that is common to all. Saying goodbye is never an easy fete despite the fact we know the inevitable is near. Death touches every facet of life, and for the elderly it is sooner rather than later as passing the milestone of three scores and ten automatically puts the elderly into alert mode, cognizant that death is imminent. Though many live well into their eighties and nineties, the brain and the body begin to prepare itself for its exit and there leaves a unpleasant occasion due to the termination of bonds. Older people think about death more but feel less afraid of death than

A funeral is one of the worst experiences a person can go through. My best friend died and I had no other terrible experiences with death. My uncle had walked out to a dock at the edge of his lake house and just cried. My grandma followed shortly to try and comfort him. I had just sat in the house. I couldn’t believe that one of the most important people in my life had died. My cousins and everyone who I became so close to over the years, began to change into new people. Evil in the world shapes how people are on a day to day basis. I had never seen evil in my life until this. This death was evil because it took one of my closest family friends. I had now seen the world filled with evil. My family has shaped me throughout this event.

On January 19, 2013; I watched a woman die. This woman was my great-grandmother, whom I was very close with. This was the first of two times I would ever see someone die in person. Seeing someone die is strange. If you’ve never seen it, I don’t recommend it. Let’s step back a bit, I’ve always been perplexed by death. It’s very strange. Whenever I think of it too much, I cry. It’s perplexed me ever since I was about four-years-old. “What do you mean they’re dead?” I would inquire. The concept to me was absolutely bonkers. In the blink of an eye, someone’s whole existence and all of their fathomable future achievements are gone. It is in every sense, a profligate process.

Death is an experience that every individual must deal with at one point in their life. Personally, I have little experience with death, but I have dealt with it through the pain felt by those surrounding me. When my Grandfather passed away, I did not experience any sort of loss, as I had only met him one time, but I supported my Mother as she grieved the loss of her father. Over time, I have supported friends who have lost family members, but was never forced to deal with death directly. Due to my inexperience with death and dying, I continue to have a fear of what is unknown to me.

On March 7, 2005, unexpectedly, my father passed away for an unknown reason. As a result, I took my father’s death to the heart and I believed that it was my fault somehow, and with that said, my life completely ended. Be that as it may, I struggled with my father’s untimely death for many years not knowing what to do with myself, and at this point in time, I just wanted to give up. My life after my father’s death was filled with anger, loneliness, and sadness, and the thought of myself having a life that was meant to be something other than what I was going through was just a vivid imagination. Life after my father’s death felt like I was being punished for not living up to what a daughter was supposed to be. Although I fell into a deep and dark life, which I regret to this day because I was afraid to deal with the death of my father, I tried to stay positive; however, it was exasperating. I would avoid situations that had some resemblance of my father, like birthdays and holidays. So many years have gone by and I couldn’t even look at photos of my father because I didn’t want to feel the pain that I knew I would feel. Above all my, life was destroyed when my father passed away, and I knew that if I didn’t deal with his passing, I might

Or we can get to the topic I was aiming for, death and the afterlife. Since this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people not just myself, but I wanted to talk about this since I have the opportunity to do so, and to share my opinion with the world. Since the idea of death and the afterlife was somewhat revealed to me at a younger age when a good friend of my family passed away. This friend could be considered a part of our family, she was there for us, and we for her. She passed away. I had seen her as, well, basically another mom. She was an older woman, sure, but you know how kids are: in their mind every adult is invincible. She had watched over me , joked around with me, and visited me almost daily. She passed away when I was just about five or six. When you see someone pass - especially at young age - you gain an understanding of how death works. Given that most people are afraid of it, and this fear of death is usually depicted as that Grim Reaper guy.

In August of 2015, my aunt passed away. One question I always ask myself is, “Where did she go?” All of my family members strongly believe that when my aunt died she went up to Heaven to be with God. But what exactly is death all about? Is it simply one’s body shutting down or is it the passing of one’s spirit from one life to another. However, if you were to ask 50 different people and they may give you 50 different answers on what death is to them. As George R.R. Martin once wrote in A Game of Thrones, “Death is so final, while life is full possibilities.” The prospect of dying is absolutely terrifying to some, including me. But to other’s it is merely another adventure, another chapter in their life. Others just simply choose to ignore the idea of death until it happens to them. Unfortunately, you cannot truly ignore and escape death. It happens to everyone, whether we like it not. Death comes with life, but finding out what death means to you personally can help your thoughts about the event. Depending on your religious or non-religious beliefs, you may believe that death is either supernatural or simply natural.

The fear I held as a child that my body would become a vessel for other souls to enter was intensified. This was my first impression of my first time in a cemetery and I was not off to a good start. As I grabbed a map to find my way around, I began to dread the walk through the cemetery and having to see all the lives lost, especially those who lost their lives before they even really began. However, to my surprise, as I made my way through the graveyard this feeling of sadness slipped away. The sun began to shine through the clouds of gray and illuminated both the cemetery and my mood. I was delighted to notice that many of the tombstones I encountered read that these lives that were lost were not taken too soon. Most of the people had lived over eighty years and were buried next to fellow family members who also lived just as long. It was nice to see that many people were laid to rest next to family so they wouldn’t have to enter the next life

Have you ever had someone that was close to you die? I have had pets that I was close to die, but not someone I saw on weekly bases, until my great grandfather died. Death is something everyone experiences some time in their lifetime and people deal with it in many different ways. In the August of 2016, I was forced to learn how I was going to learn to deal with it.