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Parenting : A Tough Job

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Coaching Parents of Teens Karen Wrolson, MS PARENTING - A TOUGH JOB Parenting is at its most difficult during the children’s teen years. The parenting style that used to work quite well when they were younger years suddenly isn’t working anymore. The teenagers don’t even acknowledge the word “no”, rules are ignored and even flaunted, and previously effective consequences don’t seem to have any impact. In addition, the closeness that used to be between the parent and child is often gone. The teen doesn’t share feelings with mom and dad anymore and has become sullen – sometimes even bursting into bouts of screaming and/or abusive language. Hour after hour is spent behind their bedroom door and only after pressure do they begrudgingly …show more content…

Instead of enjoying the last few years their child will be under their roof, parents simply try to endure and begin to look forward to the day the teen moves out. PARENT COACHES – PREPARATION BEFORE COACHING Parents may seek out the assistance of parent coaches. If you are a parent coach, I strongly suggest you educate yourself about the following two areas: o Developmental changes in the teen years (physically, cognitively, and social-emotionally) o Parenting modifications necessary to meet the changing needs of teens In this chapter I will provide some rudimentary information in those two areas. Please take note, what I am providing is simplified – intended for a general overview. I encourage you to do more reading on these two topics as part of your preparation. DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES OF ADOLESENCE When I work with young people and/or their parents, I often reflect upon my own teenager years. I remember a tremendous range of emotions – from feeling elated with happiness to bouts of depression. The emotions could switch from day to day. I can still hear my mother asking me, “Well, what would make you happy?” And I remember responding many times with, “I don’t know!” Those years were confusing to myself and to my parents. I know I certainly would not want to repeat them. So, I begin my work with this population by remembering that this is, by nature, a difficult period for everyone. A great deal of the discomfort for both parents and

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