Peer Revision Process Analysis

Decent Essays

While playing lacrosse at Woodward, we were encouraged to constructively call out our teammates in practice or during film when they made mistakes. Even though this concept may seem as if it would breed hostility within the team, we were able to improve more on an individual level while coming closer as a team. By the end of the season, if I made a mistake and was not called out on it, I was almost insulted. Caring about how we all practiced and played brought the team together as we all found it comforting to be surrounded by people who want us to improve and be successful. Likewise, the peer revision process was the calling out process I had grown accustomed to while playing lacrosse. I would read through all of the peer reviewers papers ensuring that the paper flowed well from paragraph to paragraph through relative context and use of transitions. I also focused on the unity of each paragraph and the paper as a whole. I always included ideas that the author could expand on throughout his drafts so that it would be easier for him to reach his required word count.
On this paper, the author’s use of the 5 senses was very strong when he first described his tool box. He set his paper …show more content…

Although this draft did read well and contained good transitions, I think its unity would be essentially die. If he were to add counter arguments and discredit them, he would have to find a proper way of organizing the paper so that his arguments and the counter arguments he presented would still flow. Although I was encouraging him to delete some sections of the paper and focus more deeply on only a few, I did encourage him to expand on the problem with marijuana arrests. This subject could be expanded upon for days such as the amount of money the government spends on finding the drug rings and raiding stash houses. Often times, the simpler and more to the point purpose statements are the

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