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Personal Narrative: The Crucible Of The Mind

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The Crucible of the Mind The stone was cold and I could feel the pain swelling up inside. I took a step towards the edge, I thought to myself, “One more step and the worries would end…” if only it was that easy. We look at life through a narrow view and I think that’s the wrong way to go about it. Looking through the scope at a target as big as one's life is like looking at a single cell that belongs to an Oak. There is no reality associated with it and without that feeling of what's real and attainable we just won't know what our potential will be. If only we could know just how big our target is, then just maybe we would be able to hit the mark. If only, I had known what the mark was back then maybe my life would be different. When I watched, …show more content…

It is for those of us lost in a battle not with someone but with something, and for most of us that something will always win. For me it would all come down to a final stand, a final conflict that would set the tone for the rest of my life, it wouldn’t happen in a single glorious moment, no, the battle would start and it would never end, but it didn’t have to end, it just needed to begin. The battle would begin like most, the trigger, the key word or phrase that would launch the idea of disconformity among the status quo and this idea would launch the assault that would save my life. While I don’t remember the exact trigger that put that night in motion I can remember the silence as I crept out of the house, through the back door and out the side gate. I can remember the feeling of sheer darkness that was accompanied with rain and the chill of winter. I remember the darkness crawling towards me, the light in my heart fading as god looked down in sorrow at one of his children preparing to return one of his most precious gifts. It was a moment of incredible clarity and focus of emotions so gut wrenching that just thinking about it makes me want to hurl. The air felt like it was a knife cutting my skin. I could hear the sirens as I took a step towards the edge, the stone my hand was pressed up against was cold and the pain was beginning to swell inside, I took a step forward and looked down, I thought to myself, “one more step is all it will take, no more worries, no more pain, just one more step.” That moment will forever be engraved on my soul, that moment where god watched one of his children walk to the edge of life and believe without faltering that his most precious gift was not worth having. It only lasted a minute maybe two, but it would come to be remembered as an ordeal that lasted days. I still to this day don’t know why I didn’t take that last step. It would have been

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