Personal Space and Boundaries; Making Friends in Usa

The traditional idea of American friendship has evolved drastically over time. In this age, no longer do you see the close group of friends chatting at the ‘Central Perk Café’ or engaging in many misadventures in the basement of Foreman’s house, such as they did in ‘That 70’s Show’. The aged image of a group of friends and their wise, perceptive teacher, Mr. Feeney, happily standing in the halls of John Quincy Adams middle school is fading out. This overused 1970’s-1990’s idea of friendship no longer applies to most American friendships today because our culture has swayed into a more modern viewpoint, due to the

Personal space is a concept of sociology. Personal space is an approximate area surrounding an individual in which other people should not physically violate in order for them to feel comfortable and secure. It is the zone around individuals which they regard as psychologically theirs; they don’t want to share that zone with others. The amount of personal space required for any given person is subjective, it depends on individual. It also depends on how well you know the other person. It also depends on different culture and countries; and the gender behavior like men to men, men to female, female to female and female to men. The more intimate the relationship, the less personal space is involved.

For this project, Breaking a Social Norm, I decided to violate people’s personal space. At the beginning, when I heard about this and how I felt in preparation for the experiment is that I am seriously skeptical, dreading, terrified, anxious, and this is going to be the toughest challenge in my life that I have ever encountered. I started the experiment on Black Friday at the Great Mall where there were going to be a lot of crowds and it is in the public. First, I sat next to this random stranger, a mid-thirties woman, who near the food court and I am thinking to myself just get it over with and pray that nothing bad will happen during the experiment. So, I sat to this stranger very close until there is no space. In addition, she was texting

“The Americans we encountered were kind and curious, unafraid to ask questions, and willing to listen”(Dumas 89). Dumas and her family immigrated to America unsure of what they’d encounter, the Americans they met were always sharing kindness to the family. “But almost every person who asked us a question asked with kindness. Questions were often followed by suggestions of places to visit in California”(Dumas 91). This is especially showing the American kindness but not only wanting to know about the family, traditions, and homeland but willing to share places they know might be the same likeness as to what they were talking about. “Between frenzied shopping trips to Sears to buy presents for our relatives back at home my mother spent her last few weeks giving gifts to our American friends”(Dumas 92). The

Friendship is one of the most valuable components in life. Friendship has the ability to change lives in a positive way. Friendship changes people’s views on life to a more positive outlook. “True friendship is when someone knows you better than yourself and takes a position in your best interests in a crisis. Friendship goes beyond sharing time together, and it is long lasting.” (Friends.com). As we spend a lot of time with our friends, friendship opens our minds to different ways of viewing the world. Unfortunately, sometimes strong barriers may be placed by those who see two people’s friendship as a threat; since people are influenced by their friends, friendship could make people question what

Making friends on U.S. campuses could be challenging for those who are an international students. It’s not easy to make friends with American students because they tend to be independent and keep distance from others. In Rebekah Nathan’s book “My Freshman Year”, Nathan claims that social life and developing friendships on U.S. campuses is difficult for international students because American students would make them feel uncomfortable and invisible at times. Nathan’s argues that American students don’t put any effort in talking to students from different race, ethnic, and background. International students are usually on their own or be with their friends since Americans wouldn’t make friends with them. In nathan’s book, she discusses about the

Once my family and I moved to Indiana, I had a hard time making friends because it felt like I was always the odd one out in school. Every year I would usually be the only Asian kid in the classroom which made somewhat awkward and very quiet. On my second year of school here in Indiana I met someone who is

The most essential part of American culture is their devotion to individualism. Americans are in encouraged at an early age to be independent and develop their own goals in life. They are not motivated to depend too much on other on others such as teachers, friends, and parents. Closing related to the emphasis on individualism is the concept of privacy. American enjoy and value spending time alone because they need a moment alone to think about things. Americans uphold the ideal that “all men are created equal” as stated in the Declaration of Independence. They have a deep faith that all people are created equal. This incorporates men of all ethnic and cultural group as well as women. Their perception of equality guide Americans intimate in their general behavior and their relationships with other people. They believe that formality is seen as “un-American” and shows arrogance and superiority. The notion of time is viewed as something that can’t be used for granted. Time is valuable meaning the accomplishment of a goal depends on productive use of time. Change as well as time is seen as a positive thing, meaning that progress, improvement, and growth is taking place. Overall, Americans are really free spirited, enjoy having quality time to by themselves, and known to embrace their

The same students which laid out for us the stages of cultural shock also shared their experiences expressing how they felt about Americans. Tina Lang, one of the foreign students at Boston University referred Americans as “superficial.” As direct and straight forward as that description was I like to agree with her. As Americans we are so focused on looking our best on the outside that we never put aside any time to work on our

When a young adult gets to go to college or university, they stray a new path in their lives away from their parents and into a good taste of freedom on campus life. It is here where you try to find your identity and seek significant others to construct your daily life but it can be through those same friends that you have common interests that tensions can occur with others who are in different sub cultures than you.

As it is, there's no way to feel befriended simply because people are near you. Especially in the most denely populated areas of the word, there is nothing but lonely people; longing not for closeness, but for togetherness. Billy Joel, hit musician/vocalist, said in his song "Piano Man" that two arbitrary people were "sharing a drink they call 'loneliness'". This is implicit of a cesspool of selfish and personal feelings.

To start off, one of the traits an American has is being independent. Americans are strong individuals that like to be self-made. They also fight to be an individual and are separate. However sometimes being independent is a bad thing. In times they would need someone but they may be won’t have anyone since they cast themselves out of everyone else. On How to Describe an American–if You Aren’t paragraph 8 it states, “Independent and Self-Reliant. Related to this respect for individuality are American traits of independence and self-reliance. From an early age, children are taught “to stand on their own two feet,” or to be independent. Since this is such a marked trait in the American style of relating,

It takes two friends actively being friends to each other for the relational good of friendship to occur (Fowers, 2005). In real life there is no taking turns in “doing” friendship between friends because it is a shared good.

This results in few friends and international students tending to isolate themselves or keeping to a group of the same language. Depression comes into effect for those that cannot find peers of the same language. Therefore being forced to have very or no friend which leads to loneliness and depression. The barrier between international students and English speaking students create obstacles that impede the building of interpersonal relationships with fellow students. International students not fluent with the English language experience difficulties that students who are fluent do not. They difficulties include needing extra time to read assigned reading, difficulties understanding class lectures and discussions, and difficulties communicating concerns and view points (Tam. K, Donghyuck. L, & Huang. L, 2007) International students tend to disconnect from their previous social life and find new connections to develop new social Support networks in their new host country (Tam. K, Donghyuck. L, & Huang. L, 2007). Pedersen (1991), point out that a loss of social support as an impact on the psychological well-being of an international student. The unpleasant experience of forming new support networks in host country leads to feeling of disappointment and discontent. Overtime, these feeling lead to social isolation (Mallinckrodt and Leong 1992).

Let’s face it; making friends before meeting face-to-face is not easy. Throw in the struggle of a foreign language barrier, and you’re probably the farthest thing away from being a social butterfly. It’s time like these that make you wish you had kept in touch with your elementary school pen pal from France.