On a crisp autumn day in 2016, while hidden away from the cares of my daily routine in my family room, I was called upon to elaborate on an important aspect of my life. It took some time for consideration to determine how to best portray a journey I have taken in managing conflict, as I am not a young woman. Decades filled with the blessings of being the mother of disabled children, years lived as a single parent, as well as the process of maturation, tempered by the fires of adversity, have molded me into who I am today. As I reflected, I wondered if would I know how to deal with conflict as I do now without the life experiences I have had? Certainly not! The following paragraphs will describe my primary conflict style and why I use it, how I have changed constructively in this area, how the other four styles of conflict management may serve me, and where I hope to arrive as I continue to make my way along the journey of my life.
Separate assessments of my conflict style reveal that I have become primarily attuned with the integrating style of conflict management, which came as no surprise to me, as I found the results of the assessments to be accurate. However, the assessments also showed that I was nearly equal in the compromising style, leading them to be a near tie. I would be the first to admit that his has not always been the case. It has taken a fair amount of life experience and focused effort in order to move away from the predominate style of compromise
In Cloke and Goldsmith’s Resolving Conflicts at Work, strategy 1 gives us an overview of conflict today and the many factors that influence. The authors also explain the many ways nearly every conflict can be handled. Cloke tells us that differing human perceptions keep us stuck in conflict longer than is necessary and productive. Early family development sets the default settings for each person’s perception of the situations they will face for the rest of their lives. Cloke goes on to say that conflict is unavoidable especially because today’s media continually subjects Americans to conflict following a common injunction, “if it bleeds it leads.”
Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of everyday lives. It can happen to anyone, from your friends to your family.
How many interpersonal conflicts have you been in today, this week, or even this month? Do you even know which conflict styles you normally use when faced with a disagreement? Furthermore, this analysis shall reflect on my particular conflict styles, with an in-depth look at possible benefits of knowing the conflict styles I tend to incorporate, and how behaviors change based on a relationship and the environment.
According to the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), reviewed in Appendix E, in situations of conflict my primary conflict mode is Compromising which reflects my ability to be an intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperation. In conflict I am able to listen, understand and empathize in a non confrontational method to identify underlying concerns. My leadership, and specifically my reaction in times of conflict will have an effect on my team. It is important that I am able to flex between conflict modes as the situation requires. The additional benefit of having a compromising tendency in dealing with conflict is that I am only one step away from other conflict modes (collaborating, accommodating, avoiding and competing) which each have their place in leadership conflict
There are five conflict-handling styles: Forcing Style, Collaborating Style, Compromising Style, Avoiding Style and Accommodating Style. The compromising style “refers to behaviors at an intermediate level of cooperation and assertiveness. (Hellriegel, Slocum pg. 392) ” The person using is style tries to meet a goal by give-and-take. The accommodating style “refers to cooperative and unassertive behavior. (Hellriegel, Slocum pg. 393) ” The person using this style tries to accomplish a goal by using unselfish acts that will promote cooperation in others by complying with their wishes. The collaborating style “refers to high levels of cooperative and assertive behavior. (Hellriegel, Slocum pg. 391) ” The person using this style is using a win-win approach to working with others and handling conflict. When the CEO of General Hospital, Mike Hammer first attempted to control physician-driven cost he used the collaborating style by trying to convince the Director of
Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We
Behavioral scientists Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, who developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, have identified five styles to responding to conflict—competition, collaboration, compromise,
What is conflict? Even something as basic as a universal definition for the word conflict seems to vary from source to source. A literature review focusing on conflict defined it as “the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatibility and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility” (Brinkert 2010). Often times the disagreement results not from a concrete difference, but rather a difference in perception (Ellis & Abbott 2012). One of the most important factors effecting conflict management is the resolution style used. The most often used tool for classifying how conflict is managed is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (Iglesias & Vallejo 2012).
There are different conflict management styles, the dictatorial style, which insists that things are addressed their way and the low self -esteem style, which just allows others to have it their way. It is up to the individual to decide which way works for them. Additionally, the abdicator handles conflict by bowing out or walking away. This method is unhealthy because it robs the offended growth opportunity, which results from working through issues (Pegues, 2009, p.49). Another style is the collaborator, which often involves cooperation and pulling together to reach a common purpose and are emotionally balanced.
One thing that is a part of every person’s life on every day of every week of every month of every year is conflict. Conflict is something that people, no matter how they strive, cannot escape from. Whether the conflict on a certain day is on a large scale or it is a miniscule bump in the road, it can be said that there will always be conflict. When people encounter conflict, the sole thing on their minds is to devise a way to be rid of it. The way that a person responds to whatever conflict they are faced with is what determines success or failure. If a person meets the conflict head on and with a positive attitude, then it is almost certain to end in success. If a person meets the conflict with a negative attitude and tries to avoid it, then
Throughout this semester, we have learned a great deal about conflict styles in which we may encounter in our lives. Surely everyone has experienced conflict, but not everyone handles the situation the same way. This paper is an assessment on how I have dealt with and learned my own ways of dealing with conflict throughout my life, as well as how others close to me have dealt with conflicting situations with me. Created by William W. Wilmot, I was able to utilize these assessments in ways I have never been able to statistically see how conflict is handled in my inner circle of friends or family.
I am a very understanding and compromising person. I understand that in life things happens. My conflict management style would be compromising. If I plan a vacation months in advance, airline paid, hotel and other expenses paid, and one of my coworker has an emergency and needs me to cover his or her shift. The only way I cover their shift is they have to do a written agreement to reimburse my hotel deposit, and airline ticket fare that loss due to a no show because of their emergency. I would approach the manager that he or she has agrees to write a written agreement to reimburse my funds that I lost due to no show and covering a coworkers shift due to an emergency. I try to compromise in any giving situation, for example I must need someone
After completing the organization encounter, I handle conflict by compromising and collaborating. My conflicting handling style is about compromising. Compromising sometimes means agree to disagree. By compromising I am choosing to be means be assertive and cooperative. Compromising is the most common technique for resolving conflict between groups. I understand that compromise means me giving up something or trading some of my needs in order to reach an agreement. I see compromising as a win/win in most situations and collaborating is a matter of making both parties sides happy. I know that I cannot always have things done by way. So in order to resolve issues and conflict, I chose to compromise. I think everyone has something to bring
There are four distinct conflict styles which are the levels of assertiveness and cooperativeness that are employed by a person in a conflict situation. Everyone has their own individual conflict style; my own style tends to be accommodating. This means that I am not very assertive and I am very good at cooperating with those I am in conflict with. In this essay I will examine each conflict style and my own choice of style and why I tend to default to this style. I will also examine whether or not my choice of the accommodating style is the best approach to resolving conflict, and discuss the advantages of learning to use each of the styles in specific situations.
The second form of conflict management is Compromising. This form brings along the idea that losing something is adequate when an individual gains a little. Both sides come to the middle to help serve the team and project on hand while making it possible for each person to maintain a portion of his or her original idea. The drawbacks of using this method are values and objectives can be lost in the process if they are compromised. Some of the demands from the other side may be too severe to come to a middle ground on. This method can also create other conflict if no respect for the compromise or the other team members exists. When this method is used to its full potential people of equal roles are equally committed to the team. “When the issue is to complex to just abandon the others ideas or perspectives and when the specific task that is being dealt with is only moderately important.” (Improving group, organizational or team dynamics when conflict occurs, 2008)