Alexander Gyenizse
Jennifer Drake
ENGL1301
08/DEC/2014
Assisted Marriage: A Potential benefit to western society.
Arranged Marriage is perhaps one of the most shocking and stark affronts to western sensibilities. American minds, with their concepts of freedom and choice, would seem unable to grasp any benefit in a system which does not involve the complete free will and consent of both parties in a romantic relationship. The darkest images of arranged marriage paint in our minds the vision of two strangers meeting for the first time on their wedding day. Sometimes we envision children forced to wed each other, other times we picture the even more abhorrent idea of a wedding between a much older adult and an under aged child. News stories over the past few years have shown perhaps one of the most universally heart wrenching examples in the public’s memory, the case of Pastor Warren Jeffs in his polygamous marriage, as well as sexual assault, of teenage and pre-teen girls (State v. Jeffs). Is it possible arranged marriage could be anything more than a barbarous institution, a healthy marriage and well-adjusted children could result from such a union? Can Americans possibly be able to adapt such a foreign and arcane concept into a 21st century lifestyle? Many factors go into the defining of a successful marriage. Divorce rates are one of the most common sets of statistics referred to in order to gauge the success of marriage in a nation or place, as are marriage
Arranged Marriages have been around since time can remember. An arranged marriage is a marital union between a man and a woman who were selected to be wedded together by a third party. Historically, arrange marriages were the main way to marry. In certain parts of the world, it is still the primary approach. There are two types of arrange marriages. The first is a traditional marriage where the children can, with strong objections, refuse to marry their soon to be spouse. In a forced marriage, the children have no say in the matter. Bread Givers shows an excellent representation of the pressures on children from their parents to be married against their will.
In our society, we wouldn’t consider arranged marriages as a normal thing we are, use to consensual heterosexual serial monogamy. But in some countries, they do consider arranged marriages normal. In India, arranged marriages have been apart of the Indian culture since the fourth century and many consider it a central fabric of Indian society (Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Dowries in India, 2000). Pakistan also considers arranged marriages as normal in Pakistani culture elders of the family are considered wise and they are the ones who help pick out a spouse a family member (Arranged Marriages are the Part of Pakistani Culture, 2012). Japan still practices arranged marriage but now less than ten percent of marriages are arranged compared to half a century ago when about seventy percent were arranged(Tying the Knot, 1998). In China, they have marriage markets where parents line the pathways share with other parents their clippings they have on their child, hoping to find a good match for their child (Epatko, 2015). Still, today many countries consider arranged marriages normal.
In Andrew J. Cherlin’s essay “American Marriage In Transition”, he discusses how marriage in America is evolving from the universal marriage. Cherlin’s definition of the universal marriage in his essay is the man is the breadwinner of the household and the woman is the homemaker. In the 20th century according to Cherlin, the meaning of marriage has been altered such as the changing division of labor, childbearing outside of marriage, cohabitation, gay marriage and the result of long- term cultural and material trends (1154). During the first transition of marriage, Cherlin discusses how in America, Europe, and Canada the only socially accepted way to have sexual relations with a person and to have children is to be married (1154). The second change in marriage occurred in 2000, where the median age of marriage in the United States for men is 27 and women is 25 (1155). Many young adults stayed single during this time and focused on their education and starting their careers. During the second change, the role of law increasingly changed, especially in the role of law in divorce (1155). It is proven in today’s research marriage has a different definition than what it did back in the 1950’s. Today marriage can be defined as getting married to the same gender or getting remarried to someone who already has kids. The roles in a marriage are evolving to be a little more flexible and negotiable. However, women still do a lot of the basic household chores and taking care of the
In years past, the American Dream for most young girls’ is to grow up and be married to Prince Charming and to “Live Happily Ever After!” Although this may be expected - it is rarely fulfilled. Marriage is the legal and binding union between a man and woman. Yet when couples marry, they vow to stay by their partner’s side ‘till death do us part.’ Currently that vow seems to have little or no value in today’s society. The current statistics for survival of marriage are quite grim. The divorce rate in the United States is somewhere between 50 percent and a startling 67 percent. (KSL News) One contributing factor the growing epidemic of divorce is the parting of different family
ReferencesAugust, P. (2005, October). Arranged Marriages in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriageBowman, H. & Spanier, G. (1978). Modern Marriage. McGraw-Hill Book Company.
About two centuries ago a new standard to the way marriage should be viewed came about. This set higher expectations for marriage. This change made more strict divorce laws, in turn made it harder to end a good marriage, it gave individuals more freedom to refuse a spouse. “The husband became the family’s economic motor, and the wife its sentimental core.” (p. 385) By the late eighteenth century marriage became a private contract between a husband and wife and was not regulated by church or state. However many working-class families did not adopt the new norms until the twentieth century. Different culture and countries still argued their views, many changed their description of an ideal mate.
The definition of American family is based on the idea that a legally married couple shares a household, which has been considered as a male that provides the income and a female who is responsible for taking care of the husband, household and children. Even though, Maggie Gallagher in her essay the benefits of marriage in “Why marriage is good for you,” states that she is trying to promote the return to more traditional view of marriage within the society. However, there is a controversy that American family is experiencing changes in every aspect, being on decline as a consequence of three factors. First, more babies are born in extramarital relations, second, individualism of men and women including same sex couples, and third, the high
Over the past decades, how Americans perceive the marital relationship greatly reformed, illuminating society’s values. In the past, marriage use to represent a legal contract to bear children and acquire finances, but today, “In all too many communities in the US, especially poor and minority ones, marriage is a retreat” (Wilcox et al., 2005, p. 5). Rather than observing marriage as an obligation, Americans now perceive a marriage to entail intimate commitments between affectionate partners. America transformed its values from the society and family to the individual level. Of the major values changes, which occurred over the past decades, this article exemplifies an increase in single-parent homes, cohabiting, and divorce. Due to America’s expansion of individualism and materialism, individuals no longer perceive their marriage as life long commitments. This transformation occurred because of a shift in societal values; society no longer places stigma on divorce and single parents, which aided in the increasing numbers of marital shifts. In fact, Americans tend to enter marriages with unrealistic expectations, expecting their partner to fulfill all of their needs without conflict. It stands as our unrealistic expectations and perceptions that caused a shift in marriages.
“Americans do not seem to be interested in a reality check on the topics of love and marriage. After all, it seems to be more fun to believe in fairy tales” (Hornblow). There is a large number of Americans who would get married at least once in their lives, without thinking of the importance of a marriage and the possibilities that could happen based on quick decisions. The true meaning to what marriage is, issues involving marriage, which causes the divorce rate to rise in the United States, and the importance of marriage, to what is being done to increase the chance of a happy long-lasting marriage. Marriages in the United States can be seen by the explanation of the effects of not being able to tackle problems, or being able to learn how to work through complex issues of everyday life as a married couple.
In Claudia Kolker’s book The Immigrant Advantage, she talks about the cultural tradition of arranged marriages brought by South Asian immigrants to the United States. Kolker agrues that arranged marriages are much more effective in finding a spouse than traditional marriages. Kolker believes that this tradition of assistive marriage should be adopted by Americans. Research and studies have shown that “women in arranged marriages rated the highest marital status” (Kolker, 71) compared to couples who have arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is great for individuals who are ready to settle down and start their own life without wasting any time finding a partner. Arranged marriage saves a great amount of time on dating people who are not compatible with your personality or beliefs. As Kolker states, assistive marriage does not just save time in finding a lifelong partner but, it also leads to exceptional happiness between the couple than a traditional marriage reported by couples during studies. Traditions brought by immigrants such as, assistive marriage should be considered by American traditions.
One of the main reasons that Indian parents firmly believe in arranged marriages is because they find these marriages to last the longest and be the most satisfying. Their argument is that in an arranged marriage “it takes time and effort to know, understand, accept, and love each other; a whole lifetime” (Marriages in Heaven). A study was done in 1996 with twenty-five Indian couples in arranged marriages, twenty-five Indian couples in love marriages, and twenty-five American couples in compassionate marriages. They asked these couples to score how satisfied they were with their marriage and relationship.
This essay will discuss the issue of arranged marriages. According to Webster, an arranged marriage is “a marriage planned and agreed to by the families or guardians of the bride and groom, who have little or no say in the matter themselves.” I will be discussing this according to the following ethical theories: Utilitarianism, Rights Theory, and W.D. Ross’ Theory. Under these theories I will discuss whether or not they would view arranged marriages as ethical or unethical and under what circumstances one would find an arranged marriage ethical or unethical.
Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.
As the society changing, the history of marriage also changes. Marriage is legally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, but do those two partners always have to be a man and a woman? Most people believe that homosexuals should be granted equal rights as heterosexual couples. Being as an important social issue, same-sex marriage has become a hot topic of public debates in the recent years. For over the past decade, public support for the same-sex marriage has quickly risen. The United States is one of over twenty countries that allow gay and lesbian couples to wed. I believe that same-sex marriage should be legalized in all countries for several reasons, such as being an issue of equal rights, separation of church and state, no negative effect on the heterosexual communities, increasing in child adoption, and decreasing divorce and suicide rates.
Since the nineteenth century began, the American family has gone through many changes. Among the many changes that researchers have studied, a few of these changes have been very apparent. The evolution and structure of American households have never seemed to be more diverse than they are now in these modern times. Families have become more racially, religiously, and ethnically diverse (Angier, 2013). Although some still frown upon it, one marrying another person of a different race is much more common and accepted now. Individuals of different religions will marry one another and find ways to make it work. People from different cultures have also come together and formed families. Overall, today’s society seems to be much more accepting than in the beginning of the nineteenth century.