Pursuing My Identity

Decent Essays
It was not until this year that I began to get a sense of who I was as an individual. Instead of forming my own identity, I relied on the standards of those around me to define myself. Although I as a person am still pursuing my ideal character, I now realize that my identity is not what others make of me, but of what I make of myself. Although it was blissful ignorance, my early teens were marked by feelings of warm companionship. My best friend was always there with his shoulder for me to lean on, and I felt surrounded by friends. Unfortunately, the harsh reality of high school dissipated the naive dreams I clung to. The best friend I had grown up with moved to Conroe and my next closest friend distanced himself from me because he did not…show more content…
Internally, I was more conflicted than ever. All my emotions were magnified, and I became obsessed with fitting in, letting it take priority over my grades. It was not until I went to a Christian summer camp that I came to terms with who I was, but of course it did not happen overnight. My time there initially consisted of the incessant speeches and idle activities, so to spare myself from the depressing boredom, I decided to pull a prank on everyone there. During the group presentations, convince them all that I was a boy named Vikram who just moved from India. As groups were called to speak in front of everyone, I was unanimously nominated by my group to speak for the group- in an Indian accent. So, nervously getting up on the stage, I began to crank out my most exaggerated accent in an effort to entertain some of the friends I came with. To my surprise, the whole room laughed, and it made me feel elated that everyone cracked up at the jokes that followed. For the first time in awhile, I felt appreciated and accepted. After camp ended, many people came up to me to tell me how hilarious I was in the days past. My heart slowly rushed with warmth, realizing that the very thing that I had always hated had helped me find a piece of myself that I never even knew was there. I still have not fully matured my identity, nor I do not think I just yet. For me, it is an extensive journey that
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